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Do you like SPAM?

  • I DON'T LIKE SPAM!!!

    Votes: 30 28.0%
  • I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!

    Votes: 58 54.2%
  • As long as it doesn't have very much SPAM in it.

    Votes: 16 15.0%
  • Lemon Curry?

    Votes: 3 2.8%

  • Total voters
    107
  • Poll closed .
Redneck Surf-N-Turf

So, this new gal moved into the trailer park, and she's hot! She's built like brick chithouse, plus she has a job, drives a Z28 Camaro, and has almost all of her teeth.

So, I reckon I need to invite her over to supper, and lay out the good stuff, so she can see that I am not just a choice piece of meat with the best mullet in Texas. So, I heard about this Surf and Turf thing that them city folk like to eat at them fancy restaurants, so I decided to make up some of that.

I got me some SPAM -- the good stuff, not that low fat, low sodium stuff. And, I got me some fish sticks, the name brand stuff, not the store brand. And the check-out girl, who has a crush on me, but she's kind of fat, so I aint interested, she tells me that rice pilaf is good with surf and turf, but I don't know how to make it, but she says you can buy it in a pouch an microwave it. I know how to do that.

So, I cut that SPAM nice and thick, and grilled us up some nice juicy meat, and put the fish sticks on the grill to heat up, and served it all on top of that rice pilaf stuff.

Since this is a first date, I got out the Chinette plates and the fancy plastic knifes and forks. That kind of thing just reeks of class.

I also got some Four Loco to help put her in the mood, if you know what I mean. It's summer, so I went for the watermelon flavor.

My friend Billy Bob told me you need a sauce for surf and turf, so I got out the ketchup that I bought when Albertson's was still in Texas -- that's only like five years ago, so it should still be good.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to get me some tonight. :cool:

C farkin' D
 

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Full disclosure: I was determined to eat what I made for this throwdown, and I did try. I could only eat one of those two SPAM steaks, and I had to put it on a bun with some cheese to do that. I didn't add one grain of salt to them, and they were still WAY too salty for me to eat them both. I'll cut the other one up to mix with some scrambled eggs.

The fish sticks were, well, fish sticks. Not good, but I was able to eat them, and some of the rice pilaf, which almost tasted like rice pilaf, except that it didn't.

I was afraid of the Four Loco, but I did taste some. I hope I don't go crazy and end up in jail or the emergency room tonight. That chit is like Boone's Farm on crack.

CD
 
Okay, Al's entry might be the only one so far that truly has made me want to take a step back and walk away before my heart explodes from just being in range of that.

It is a classic entry but, can't go wrong with it! :thumb:
 
Here was the next door neighbor's dog after Mr Fuzz Butt and I lobbed the leftovers over the fence... You be the judge if it was salty or not:

thirsty_dog.jpg


Vote for Al!!! :thumb:
 
The dogs next door aren't sure what to think about me... Sometimes they get left overs, and sometimes they get squirted in the face with Franks Red Hot though the fence slats when they won't quick barking at 2am... Their choice. :heh:
 
Something tells me those were a little bit salty!:becky:

Seriously? My blood pressure is probably one point below a stoke after eating half of my SPAM Surf-N-Turf portion of SPAM.

But, I survived, only to think that pouring out a whole can of Four Loco would be a waste of 3 bucks. Oh, yeah, I'm drinking it. Well, some of it. If you don't see me posting tomorrow, notify my next of kin.

CD
 
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