Redneck Surf-N-Turf
So, this new gal moved into the trailer park, and she's hot! She's built like brick chithouse, plus she has a job, drives a Z28 Camaro, and has almost all of her teeth.
So, I reckon I need to invite her over to supper, and lay out the good stuff, so she can see that I am not just a choice piece of meat with the best mullet in Texas. So, I heard about this Surf and Turf thing that them city folk like to eat at them fancy restaurants, so I decided to make up some of that.
I got me some SPAM -- the good stuff, not that low fat, low sodium stuff. And, I got me some fish sticks, the name brand stuff, not the store brand. And the check-out girl, who has a crush on me, but she's kind of fat, so I aint interested, she tells me that rice pilaf is good with surf and turf, but I don't know how to make it, but she says you can buy it in a pouch an microwave it. I know how to do that.
So, I cut that SPAM nice and thick, and grilled us up some nice juicy meat, and put the fish sticks on the grill to heat up, and served it all on top of that rice pilaf stuff.
Since this is a first date, I got out the Chinette plates and the fancy plastic knifes and forks. That kind of thing just reeks of class.
I also got some Four Loco to help put her in the mood, if you know what I mean. It's summer, so I went for the watermelon flavor.
My friend Billy Bob told me you need a sauce for surf and turf, so I got out the ketchup that I bought when Albertson's was still in Texas -- that's only like five years ago, so it should still be good.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to get me some tonight.
C farkin' D