If you are stressed about it, you made the right decision. By getting off FB. If people expect to be invited over every time you make Q, AND you feel bad, then you are in a hard spot. The most important thing to do is make sure they know that for you, bbq is not about having everyone together. It is a meal, that you enjoy making at home, involving the family and whomever you choose to invite that day. They will have to learn to share you, or maybe not see you.
I have been through that with family, not media. On media, i dont participate enough to have followers. I check up on people, joke around, see what's happening. Past that, there is the unfollow/unfriend feature.