Cooking Q and Social Media - What Has Been Your Experience?

Hello everyone. I have had what I would call a somewhat surprising experience when posting pictures of Q I've made on Facebook. I had to stop posting it because certain people from both sides of my family (my immediate relatives and my wife's immediate relatives) tend to get genuinely offended when they see that I've cooked Q and they weren't invited to enjoy it with us. Now, I guess I can understand people seeing those pics and guests in the background and thinking "I wish I had been invited." However, in my estimation, we only have guests about 20% of the time when I cook Q. The rest of the time, it's only for the 4 of us in my house.

The problem is, these people don't stop at "I wish I had been invited." They are actually bothered enough to post comments along the lines of "Why don't you ever invite me over to eat with you? I see that you have other guests there, so why is it never my family?" My mother-in-law goes so far as to ask my wife what I'm cooking when she calls on Saturdays. I've asked my wife not to share any more information than she has to. I'm not out to hurt people. I give a lot of food away. I intentionally buy more meat than my family can eat, for the sole intent of giving some away every time I cook. What I am out to do is enjoy a guilt free Saturday of relaxing near some Heavenly aromas as I await the finish of whatever is in my Humphrey's.

Since this has happened more than once, my initial reaction was to stop posting on Facebook. But it continued to the point that I deactivated Facebook altogether. I really haven't missed it, and the relief I feel at having a restored sense of privacy has been well worth kissing FB goodbye.

I am curious as to whether anyone else has had a similar experience?

Thank you. I agree. I don't understand people sometimes. Rather than respond the way you said... "Looks great, I'll be right over", they are seriously hurt that they weren't the chosen guest for that particular meal. Someone said something I made looked disgusting - posted that for everyone to see. The picture was a stock photo from Malcom Reed's site, but it was a recipe I followed. Anyway, I was stunned that someone would post such a thing publicly, and that was the last straw for FB with me.

It was a family member on my wife's side who made the comment about something looking disgusting. This particular family member isn't the type to be hurt about not being invited over, so I'm not sure what the intent of the post was. But the lesson learned for me was that it's probably best not to post my weekend doings on FB.

Does anyone know why some people are willing to post something on social media that they would never say to someone in person? I can't seem to understand why a keyboard and a screen has that effect on some folks.

frognot said:

Sounds like a good way to find out which people to avoid. I hang out with people that I like and minimize exposure to drama queens who piss and moan on FB.

Usually the ones like that seldom invite you over to eat or pick up a restaurant bill. Fark em.

I'm in Tennessee for a wedding with relatives that are awesome but also have some relatives that I seldom see. They are like the ones you mentioned.

Life is short. Don't waste it on people who suck the life out of you.

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This is good stuff. Sums up my opinion about the whole matter very well. Thanks for your post. I was honestly wondering if I was the problem, but having trouble seeing what I may be doing wrong.

16Adams said:

Here’s my total Facebook postings

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LOL! I love it! Starting to feel like I'm not the only one who would react the way I am to the madness. There's more to the story... great expectations placed on me by family on both sides, to use my work skills for them at their homes, on my Saturday, as long as required, for free. If I say no, how dare I? I'm just a selfish person who doesn't care about the needs of others, and doesn't enjoy helping those in need. That's getting old - being made to feel that way. Work is ridiculously busy right now, and I have made that clear. Not good enough. "Why won't you do this for me?"

No kidding, it has gotten so bad that I leave my phone turned off on Saturdays, just to prevent being assigned another task by a random family member. I don't know if I've created a problem by gladly doling out help for so long, with no expectation of anything in return, that "No, I'm sorry. You'll have to wait until things slow down a little" is now an unacceptable answer. It kind of looks that way.

All great responses so far. Thanks everyone.

I like this reply. I held off on Facebook for a very long time after pretty much everyone I knew had joined. My wife had it for a while several years ago, but deactivated it. We then moved across the country for 2 years and then came back home. That 2 years in Florida was what caused her to reactivate her account. She wanted to keep in touch with the ladies she had befriended down there. For the very reason you expressed ("Why would anyone be interested in my life?"), I didn't find Facebook appealing. I started by reading hers, seeing what her old friends were up to. Then she made it a joint account, adding my name. I posted pictures of Christmas lights at my house, and the occasional food pics. I was fairly active on there for about a year. Then I just started looking, but rarely posting. This has all taken place over the last two years.

I think Facebook and other social media can be as destructive as it is constructive. Of course, this probably depends on how it is used, like many other things... and can only happen if one allows it to. Just my opinion, not worth much.

I'd be lying if I said my mother-in-law wasn't involved in my newfound dislike of FB. I'd also be lying if I said I hadn't considered similar actions to the ones you took. In my case, that would have fanned the flames and caused grief between me and my wife, which I don't want or need. So rather than singling people out on FB, I just got rid of it altogether. Different approaches work for different folks. It's probably not easy explaining to seniors how Facebook's algorithms work, and getting them to believe you are telling the truth. I know you are though, because people have asked me if I saw such and such on FB, from a friend that is mutual, and I hadn't seen it. I didn't put a lot of thought into it though, as I really didn't care that much.