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Wow Gore, your meat always looks perfect! And all we did was construct a doll containing meat and burn it on the kettle.:shock:

It may look nice, Redhot, but it is also very boring and unworthy of a Bigabyte post. That doll, on the other hand, is superb. It actually looks like something you would see in a store, without the beard, of course.

Are those grill marks, or marks from where the jockey was hitting it. Did you see what I did there. Al Czervik did.

Yes, I remember that reference well, very clever indeed.
 
Disclaimer: As almost all of you know, Bigabyte wrote a brisket tutorial that is one of the most valuable resources on this website. It is especially valuable because of the attention to detail that he provides. Since all the good rants have been taken and I was too tired to write a "Cooking with the Bigabyte" episode, I decided to do an eggplant tutorial. This is meant to be taken light-heartedly.

Basic Eggplant Tutorial (part I):

I have seen a couple requests recently about eggplant tutorials from people who were thinking about making eggplant for the first time. There are some eggplant threads out there, but I thought a basic tutorial showing how to make a simple first-time eggplant would be nice to have. So I set out to make this here.

This "basic eggplant" I am talking about is a no-frills, just plain good-and-tasty eggplant without all the fuss with unnecessary techniques and preparations. I just leave it real basic here. These instructions will make a great eggplant every time with basically no chance of messing up, and absolutely no hard-to-understand directions that may cause lots of hard-to-answer questions to the first-time eggplant maker. If this is your first ever eggplant, and you simply want to know how to make a good eggplant right now, this could very well be for you.

The first time someone sets out to make eggplant, they have a ton of questions. Do I have to soak it in salt? What is the difference between an Asian eggplant and an Italian eggplant? Do I have to take out all the seeds? etc. I do not intend to answer all of these questions, but I will shed light on some of them and answer a couple.

The first question I am going to answer is, "What is an Asian eggplant?" Below you will see a picture of Asian eggplant straight from my local Asian market. You may see these in your local supermarket now as they are becoming popular.

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Some eggplants will have little stickers on them, with the brand name of the eggplant, or simply a code number for the cashier to use. These eggplant did not have any stickers at all. I have not found any difference between different brands. However, sometimes I do forget to remove a sticker, which can leave an embarrassing uncooked mark. Be sure to remove any stickers before preparation. Good eggplant are fairly stiff and unbruised. Here is one side of the eggplant:

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And here is the other side:

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They look remarkably the same. I know some of you in the past have asked where exactly the tenderloin of the eggplant is located. In truth, the entire eggplant is the tenderloin. Sometimes I wish cows were more like eggplant, but then we wouldn't have brisket. The end of the eggplant sometimes has a little brown speck located on it:

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If you don't like the look of it, you can trim it off. I usually don’t bother, but I am lazy. The other end is where the stem was attached. Unlike other fruit like tomatoes, there is a rough portion still attached quite firmly.

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You can see this stem is still greenish. Sometimes stems get moldy and it is a good idea to avoid purchasing eggplant that have moldy stems. I do not eat the stems and remove them quite simply with a knife:

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What I typically do to prepare the eggplant is to make long, thin slices. I usually cut the eggplant into quarters with a knife.

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If you look inside, you will see tiny little seeds. These seeds do not need to be removed. In Asian eggplant, they are quite small and hardly noticeable. In Italian eggplant, they can be larger and can be gritty. This is one reason to grill the Asian variety. In addition, the Asian eggplant do not need to be salted. You can actually cook these with very little preparation. I am extremely lazy, so I prefer this option and recommend it for beginners. The next step in preparation is to oil the eggplant. This is not required, but I find that the eggplant cook much nicer if they are oiled. I use an extra virgin olive oil (EVOO). I do not use really good quality for these. I am always surprised at how much oil the eggplant soak up. They are like sponges. Here is what they look like when they are oiled:

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Next I cook the eggplant on the grill. I typically do this at fairly high temperature, about 400*. It can be as low as 350* or as high as 500*, but I usually aim for this range. I heat the grill up and simply lay the eggplant on the cooking grate.

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After a few minutes, usually about 3, but it may be more or less, I flip them over. I like to see some nice grill marks and some browning:

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Notice that I have not skinned the eggplant. Some people may find the eggplant skin a bit chewy. This can be true especially with the Italian eggplant, but I do not find it bothersome for the Asian eggplant. I am also very lazy. After a few more minutes, the eggplant are done and can be removed.

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These eggplant can be eaten just like this with a fork and knife. Sometimes we cook them a little longer and make them almost crispy and we eat them with our fingers, but I like them just like this.


I hope this was helpful for anyone who is thinking of making their first eggplant. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me a message.
 
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Last night I cured some salmon to make some smoked salmon for the girls breakfasts. This is warm smoked to about 145* with cherry. It is coated with sesame oil. I've never seen Bigabyte do this, so consider this a cheap attempt to garner a zero.

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I couldn't help but sample a bite in the foreground.

Excellent Gore! :clap2:
 
This was dinner. I couldn't resist these at the Asian market the other day. They were just the part of the ribeye that is most tender. Unfortunately, it is not a decent grade of meat and I should've left them on the shelf.

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Yes, it was dinner. Again, you can consider this another cheap attempt at a zero. I'm sure Oldyote's steaks were 100x better than these.

Looks very tasty from were I'm sitting... :becky:
 
Cook like a Bigabyte…. Umh, ok to cook like a varmint you have to look like a varmint or the next best thing think like a varmint. So I constructed a foil hat in an attempt to go beyond his cooking threads and get into his inner thought process. Sounds simple enough right? Nope… after going through literally hours of transmissions this soundByte from a Bigabyte is what made the most sense.
Wah Wah, Charlie Brown! - YouTube
So either those are his true thoughts or I seriously underestimated his FoilHat defenses. I believe it to be his defenses are strong due to the migraine (which farking cost me early entry points) I have sustained in my attempt to probe his thoughts. Then it occurred to me I was going to high tech, you don’t hunt a varmint with a Barret 50 cal. And his defenses are too strong for a full frontal assault so I had to go low tech. That’s right you guessed it I used.................. Google Translate.

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I knew I was on the right track Spam = Salt Cod both are salty as hell and both are seemingly inedible until an artisan works his magic and both can be rather tasty (so I’ve heard). But the real kicker was when of all things Google Translate misspelled Potatoe which is consistent with bigabytes right wing tendencies and his resentment for pinko commie, tree hugging, clean burning, Solyndra loving, bleeding heart liverals.

But first we start with an appetizer and cocktail in honor of biggies new found success in the asterisk marred Bull riddled Summer of hors d'ouerves and Cocktails throwdown victory I present Cod Fish Balls.

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So here I present you Farkers with the Spam of the ocean, I spared no expense in procuring the best possible Norwegian waters caught Cod fish.

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Notice there are some tenderloins in there as well. :heh:

To stay on track and remain in a Right state of mind we must remove the salt from the Cod letting the fish shine while removing its Spam like qualities. This is done by soaking it in water for 24 hours in the fridge with 2-3 water changes along the way.

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The Cod is placed in boiling water for ~10 minutes then removed to cool meanwhile potatoe’s are boiled whole in the same water for about 15 minutes, removed and also allowed to cool. The Cod is deboned, skin removed and flaked the potatoe’s are peeled, sliced, coated in OO and grilled until fork tender. Here is a pic of the cooked cod Tenderloin.

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Potatoes on the grill.

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In a pan I sautéed 2 onions 3 cloves of garlic and 3 bay leaves in OO.

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I then folded in the Codpiece(s), garbanzo beans and some sweet peppers (not in the pic).

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The components are then layered in a foil pan (I had bought a special scalloped pan but sadly it was to shallow), first the potatoe layer.

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Then the fish mixture with some egg slices which are firmly planted onto of the fish layer (this should qualify as egg plant (ed)).

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Then another potatoe layer topped with another fish layer with egg planted slices, drizzled with OO and onto the grill for about 15 minute @ 350.

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And here is how it looked when it came off the grill.

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And here is the money shot.

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In case there is extra credit for fork shots, here you go.

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The meal was outstanding, this is the first time I’ve made it with the grill elements and it did not hurt the results in fact I think it enhanced it with some nice flavors you can only get from using charcoal. So for that I would like to thank Bigabyte for the inspiration to take it to the grill and of course to Gore for allowing Bigabyte to inspire me.

I did however forget the Olives :tsk: but that’s ok this dish really shines served cold with a little lemon; I can’t wait for lunch tomorrow.

Just one more thing I was prepared with paint can in hand to paint my expanded metal outdoor table white to math Biggies when all of the sudden TWACK!!!!! Wifey knocked the Bigabyte out of me (I think guerrie knows what I’m talkn’ about).
 
Basic Eggplant Tutorial (part II):

I have heard from some people that they don’t really like eggplant. Eggplant is a very versatile vegetable. You can find yourself eating eggplant in hundreds of dishes without even being aware of it. Part of the reason is that the flavor of eggplant is quite subtle. In what follows I will demonstrate a very simple meal that I made with some ingredients I had. It took about 30 minutes of preparation and about 40 minutes cooking. I began by making some sauce. This is Italian style spaghetti sauce. I began by browning some hamburger meat that was leftover from making burgers for lunch.

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To this I added some pulled pork that I had in the freezer, made about a month ago. It was absolutely lovely pulled pork with a strong mesquite smoke flavor:

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I then simply added some tomato sauce. We usually have some jars lying around and there are usually some in the freezer that my wife made. Basically I want a meaty sauce. To make a good meaty sauce, it is best to add at least two different kinds of meat. I prefer pork and beef. I would add sausage also, if I had any lying around. I let this simmer for a bit:

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Now comes the fun part. I got a deep pan. This is a glass bread pan. I chose this so you could see what is happening. I put a bit of sauce in the bottom. I keep a bit aside for this, but if you forget, you can always skim some off the pan on the stove, although skimming may be difficult, because the pot has so much meat in it.

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I then put down a layer of the grilled eggplant on top of the sauce:

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On top of this, I put a layer of meat and sauce taken from the pot. It should be very thick and meaty:

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On top of this I put a layer of mozzarella cheese and then cover it with another layer of eggplant.

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I then prepare a ricotta-cheese layer. I mix a blob of ricotta with an egg and add parsley.

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And I stir this up until it is creamy. I add this to the top of the eggplant.

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I cover this with mozzarella and Parmesan cheese

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I add another layer of eggplant. Normally, I would add a layer of diluted sauce, but I ran out of room in the bread pan, so I just covered with more mozzarella and Parmesan cheese.

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I believe you can see all the layers in this picture. The final step is to bake it. I use my wife’s Oval with cherry wood. I heated it up to 350* and baked in the Oval for about 40 minutes. The primary reason is to cook the cheese layer, setting it. This is a picture after about 25 minutes. The cheese on top is just turning brown.

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Here it is after about 45 minutes. Usually, I cook this for about an hour, but I had to go shopping. It actually looks very nice:

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This usually produces a dry casserole. We use the same basic recipe for lasagna, but substitute noodles for the eggplant. We always serve this with sauce. I served this with the sauce on the bottom, so you could see it better.

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I hope this was helpful for anyone who is thinking of making their first eggplant. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me a message.
 
This throwdown is getting weirder by the minute. I'm gong to have strange dreams tonight, with people talking to me in "wah wah" voices. The voices will probably come from eggplant people.

I really shouldn't come to this forum right before bedtime :shocked:

CD
 
Gore, that looks amazing! I love the fine prep you did, esp with the eggplant. Couldn't figure out where you put the tenderloin, though. :confused:



Basic Eggplant Tutorial (part II):


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I hope this was helpful for anyone who is thinking of making their first eggplant. If you have any questions, feel free to shoot me a message.
 
Gore, that looks amazing! I love the fine prep you did, esp with the eggplant. Couldn't figure out where you put the tenderloin, though. :confused:

You didn't read part I apparently:

Blah, blah, blah ....

.... I know some of you in the past have asked where exactly the tenderloin of the eggplant is located. In truth, the entire eggplant is the tenderloin. Sometimes I wish cows were more like eggplant, but then we wouldn't have brisket. The end of the eggplant sometimes has a little brown speck located on it:

Blah, blah, blah.
 
Gore... My head is literally off for your Eggplant Lasagna... :becky::clap2:

He should have used SPAM for one of the meats, and cooked it in a foil pan. And, where's Ninja? Lot's of missed bigabyte points opportunities missed. :tsk:

Looks very tasty, though.

Hey Gore, what is the texture of the eggplant after baking in a lasagna? Is it like pasta?

CD
 
He should have used SPAM for one of the meats, and cooked it in a foil pan. And, where's Ninja? Lot's of missed bigabyte points opportunities missed. :tsk:

Looks very tasty, though.

Hey Gore, what is the texture of the eggplant after baking in a lasagna? Is it like pasta?

CD

I'm thinking it would be similar to an eggplant Parmesan, which I love, so I'll be trying Gore's dish myself.
 
There's something mighty fishy about this entry. :wink:

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Yes, folks, I'm here all week. Don't forget to tip your waitress. :yo:


Very nice entry! :thumb:

CD
 
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