A few observations -
Paul - go with your intuition and realize "you do not belong there."
First let me say I have always hated - hated - people who say things like "I am the greatest chef in the State of Texas (or any large regional area)" and then be from somewhere like MCKINNEY TEXAS. I hate people who self-proclaim themselves the greatest in anything, typically out of thin air, but do not have the foresight to let everyone else know.
Mind you there are some excuses. In 1980 no one had ever heard of Minneapolis/St Paul for having done anything except being the town Mary Tyler Moore had her job and apartment in.
The town was primarily known for country - Until a pioneer called Prince Rodgers Nelson not only laid out a grand design of Funk for the 1980 Minneapolis sound, he also completely created the sound of the TIME, Vanity 6, Appolonia 6 - at times playing all the instruments and producing then under the name of Jamie Starr. Later his musical protegees would be fired from the Time and make Janet's Break through album "Control," namely having the Prince Penned hit (traded for "Gigalos get lonely too"), and extension of his empire. In 1981 Prince opend for Rolling Stone (a disaster) then RICK JAMES. By the end of the tour, Prince had stolen James whole stage act (by watching him on stage) and thereby made Rick look like he was copying Prince. By the end of the tour Prince had stolen all of Rick James stick and his girlfriend Vanity.
Rolling Stone said of Prince - "Genius? He had the foresight to create from thin air his own competition."
Lesson? Paul, you can actually steal and bluster your way to the top - but you have to have skills - which you do not.
Prince once said - "I always knew I was bad, I would not have gotten in the biz if I didn'y know I was bad. Paul is bad in a different way.
LeAnne - so your brisket stopped on the rotessirie and cooked hotter and faster than you wanted it to and as you said - placed a little better than expected. Well - think for a moment when you said " i don't like to do the hot and fast because it doesn't give the meat time to do what it needs to do." Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
First of all your a dumb ass - you could have negotiated 10 minutes from the event codinator - JUST TELL him to go put more sugar in his tank - and banked your meat on the shelves for a bit and leave the hot shelf empty then shut the pit turntable off. However - maybe you learn something from this - briskets are more forgiving than you think.
Myron - LOve Ya buddy - I think the fact the douchebag stole from ya and missed his turn in and lost dead last everythign else pretty much has Karma on your side.
Tuffy - shut my farkin mouth - 1st in brisket? WTF is in that chit? Good job. Hey Phil, You wonder don't ya?
The Murphy's Fairy - Murphys law - Now I remember a year ago, back when Neil was building his sink thing with the water heater and pump system we all got in a serious disscussion about 110 volt pump AND Heater - versus 110 volt batttery charger and having the heater on LP and the Pump on 12Volt. I think I won out. Why did I insist he use a converter? Because of the Murphy's fairy there on that show. You never know when some fairy is gonna flutter by and shut off your power. The fairy has a passion for meat, just not in the same way you do. Power problems are the biggest thing that you can count on happening at any catering event, fair or competition - you betta make a backup plan. I think STORMS ARE NEXT IN LINE - bring a damn genset! Don't plug your stoker into it though without a batt power supply for clean AC.