Will work for bbq
Babbling Farker
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2010
- Location
- NorCal
Now that is some funny stuff right there, I really need to stop reading these at work. :clap2::clap2::clap2:
THE BBQ BRETHREN FORUMS
Welcome to The BBQ Brethren Community. Register a free account today to become a member and see all our content. Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
BBQ Disasters - Your Input Needed!
- Thread starter KnucklHed BBQ
- Start date
Now that is some funny stuff right there, I really need to stop reading these at work. :clap2::clap2::clap2:
B
barbefunkoramaque
Guest
http://www.youtube.com/user/PopdaddysBBQ#p/u/48/v342OMn4iAM
Failed attempt at Italian Armadillo eggs
Nix either the rubb added in the meat or the final rub roll at the end and the recipe is fine.
Watch at 3:00
Near Fatal Glaze Shot
http://www.youtube.com/user/PopdaddysBBQ#p/u/15/01EAArFMVRY
My Brushed ended up on the roof
Failed attempt at Italian Armadillo eggs
Nix either the rubb added in the meat or the final rub roll at the end and the recipe is fine.
Watch at 3:00
Near Fatal Glaze Shot
http://www.youtube.com/user/PopdaddysBBQ#p/u/15/01EAArFMVRY
My Brushed ended up on the roof
deguerre
somebody shut me the fark up.
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2009
"We started putting the ceramic briquettes on the lower grate, hoping we could get it done before he returned. Of course not, about 1/2 way through putting them in place he returns and asks why we're putting them in. "oh, you know, I just find that they help distribute the heat better and reduce the hot spots so that everything cooks more evenly."
And he starts in telling me about doubling his cooking space and lighter fluid... "hang on" I say, "I need another beer"."
It wouldn't be murder, Ry. It'd be self defense.
And he starts in telling me about doubling his cooking space and lighter fluid... "hang on" I say, "I need another beer"."
It wouldn't be murder, Ry. It'd be self defense.
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2008
- Name or Nickame
- Gore (surprise!)
Thanks Ryan, I needed a good laugh! That is beautiful. I had permagrin on my face the whole time.
I don't know where to begin with my disasters. This is one of the more amusing ones:
http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1125701&postcount=105
I don't know where to begin with my disasters. This is one of the more amusing ones:
http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showpost.php?p=1125701&postcount=105
atvottawa
Knows what a fatty is.
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2010
- Location
- Ottawa, Ontario
Oh man these stories are funny. I need more of them, I can't stop laughing. I don't really have any, just a few things that some people wouldn't eat after the first bite.
Please keep them coming.
Please keep them coming.
BigButzBBQ
is Blowin Smoke!
- Joined
- Mar 16, 2010
- Location
- Northwestern Wisconsin
This would be my most memorable disaster as of late. I thought it would be a really great idea to take a chuck roast and turn it into a roulade. I started off by marinading it the night before with something I threw together involving basalmic vinegar. I then sliced it into one big strip, layered stuffing into it consisting of herbstuffing with onions and carrots, and rolled it back up. I then tied it securely, tipped it on end, and threw it into the oven. I can't remember how long I let it cook for but, I vaguely remember doing a thermo probe on it and pulling it when it reached 165 in the middle. Once it was out I sliced it up, it actually looked really nice.
But, of course, looks can be deceiving, when we went to eat it, I've had jerky more tender and the basalmic flavor was severly strong to the point where my wife refused to eat it (she is not a vinegar fan to begin with). To me the flavor was good but unfortunately, the jaws of life would have been required to chew it. Still will attempt this again someday.
But, of course, looks can be deceiving, when we went to eat it, I've had jerky more tender and the basalmic flavor was severly strong to the point where my wife refused to eat it (she is not a vinegar fan to begin with). To me the flavor was good but unfortunately, the jaws of life would have been required to chew it. Still will attempt this again someday.
jgh1204
Babbling Farker
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2004
T-Man
is one Smokin' Farker
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2010
- Location
- South Louisiana
Last summer, I was smoking a pork butt and a deer roast that a friend gave me a while back . Our dog , a boxer, was sitting patiently like a solder all day eyeing the smoker . It was about time for the deer roast to be done . So. I go outside with the ol' lady to check on it . Yep , it was done . I cut part of the burnt end off it ,I throw it over by the dog (who was freak'in drooling) .
The dog ran over to it and smelled it , then proceeded to lift his leg and pee on
it. Then for further insult he walked away and sat down and just looked at me.
The ol'Lady then chimed in.... " If The Dog Wont Eat It , I Am Not Touching It !!"
The dog ran over to it and smelled it , then proceeded to lift his leg and pee on
it. Then for further insult he walked away and sat down and just looked at me.
The ol'Lady then chimed in.... " If The Dog Wont Eat It , I Am Not Touching It !!"
Crazy Harry
is One Chatty Farker
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2009
- Location
- Deer Park, Wa
My first try at pastrami.....
http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showthread.php?t=70541
looks can be deceiving
http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showthread.php?t=70541
looks can be deceiving
SmokeJumper
is Blowin Smoke!
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2010
That is so hilarious!!! You made me spill half a perfectly good beer.
KnucklHed BBQ
Babbling Farker
You guys are great! Loved it Funk!
T-Man, I think wives are too farkin picky anyways! :heh:
You know, I call a fella a 'tard on here yesterday, and instantly jinx myself...
So I have a 50th wedding anniversary that I'm cooking for on sat... dunno why I accepted, I have no real legitemit way of cooking brisket & butts for 200 people...
So I toss 7 butts in 2 levels on the UDS last night only to wake and find a steaming pile of meat about 5 hours later... blech! Fortunately I have a kettle lid on it so that the moisture ran down the sides instead of raining on it... I fired up the pellet pooper and moved 4 over to there and shuffled the other 3 around.
Dunno if they've gonna be edible, I might end up doing these 7 over again... :tsk::tsk:
I'd still call him a 'tard all over again.
T-Man, I think wives are too farkin picky anyways! :heh:
You know, I call a fella a 'tard on here yesterday, and instantly jinx myself...
So I have a 50th wedding anniversary that I'm cooking for on sat... dunno why I accepted, I have no real legitemit way of cooking brisket & butts for 200 people...
So I toss 7 butts in 2 levels on the UDS last night only to wake and find a steaming pile of meat about 5 hours later... blech! Fortunately I have a kettle lid on it so that the moisture ran down the sides instead of raining on it... I fired up the pellet pooper and moved 4 over to there and shuffled the other 3 around.
Dunno if they've gonna be edible, I might end up doing these 7 over again... :tsk::tsk:
I'd still call him a 'tard all over again.
Last edited:
Lake Dogs
Quintessential Chatty Farker
July 3rd, 2008. I'd had wonderful success BBQing fresh hams in my small brinkmann
stillwater smoker. The next day was my 2nd wedding and we were to have BBQ at
the party afterwards. No problem, I'll BBQ a couple of nice hams and we're good to
go.
F A I L
I really couldn't go to my own wedding on no sleep. Rather than starting early,
cooking the hams to completion and putting them in a warmer until the next morning,
I'm not sure whether I was drunk or what, but the idea hit me to start the cook,
go catch a few hours of sleep while it's cooking, then get up and check the smoker,
etc. Did I mention: F A I L
When I got up I'd missed my alarm by a few hours. When I ran outside the
temperature of the cooker was 80 degrees. Yep, a complete die-out. 100% fail.
So, in a panic, and not yet completely awake, I have a great idea: Lets put them
in the oven (now that they're smoked) at 320 until they're good enough. Ok,
now we've added another level of FAIL. It didnt take but about 30 minutes for the
stench of 1000 rotting dead camels to infiltrate the entire house. The meat was
WAY beyond rancid. I had to remove the meat (allowing all of the wonderful aroma
to infiltrate the air in the house, put them in a doubled garbage bag and haul them
to the dump (no putting THIS in the trash can, I mean "make you vomit" stench).
All the time I'm dressed to get married and the preacher is due any minute. I ran to
the dump, stopped by Wally World on the way back and grabbed 50 lbs of hamburger
meat, and got back only to realize that I'd left the doors and windows shut in the
house. HOLY COW what a smell!!!?!?! It's now getting close to noon, on July 4th,
in the DEEEEEEEP south. Hot doesn't quite describe it; I think the temps were already
around 92 degrees and climbing. Anyway, I opened all the windows and doors and
turned on the attic fan. I met the preacher in the driveway and off to the wedding
we went (didnt want to subject him to that, plus he'd think I was an axe murderer
and that the bodies were stored neatly underneath the house).
Luckily, after we got home from being hitched the home had lost most of it's unique
appeal so that we could close the doors and windows back up and fire up the
A/C for the reception party.
stillwater smoker. The next day was my 2nd wedding and we were to have BBQ at
the party afterwards. No problem, I'll BBQ a couple of nice hams and we're good to
go.
F A I L
I really couldn't go to my own wedding on no sleep. Rather than starting early,
cooking the hams to completion and putting them in a warmer until the next morning,
I'm not sure whether I was drunk or what, but the idea hit me to start the cook,
go catch a few hours of sleep while it's cooking, then get up and check the smoker,
etc. Did I mention: F A I L
When I got up I'd missed my alarm by a few hours. When I ran outside the
temperature of the cooker was 80 degrees. Yep, a complete die-out. 100% fail.
So, in a panic, and not yet completely awake, I have a great idea: Lets put them
in the oven (now that they're smoked) at 320 until they're good enough. Ok,
now we've added another level of FAIL. It didnt take but about 30 minutes for the
stench of 1000 rotting dead camels to infiltrate the entire house. The meat was
WAY beyond rancid. I had to remove the meat (allowing all of the wonderful aroma
to infiltrate the air in the house, put them in a doubled garbage bag and haul them
to the dump (no putting THIS in the trash can, I mean "make you vomit" stench).
All the time I'm dressed to get married and the preacher is due any minute. I ran to
the dump, stopped by Wally World on the way back and grabbed 50 lbs of hamburger
meat, and got back only to realize that I'd left the doors and windows shut in the
house. HOLY COW what a smell!!!?!?! It's now getting close to noon, on July 4th,
in the DEEEEEEEP south. Hot doesn't quite describe it; I think the temps were already
around 92 degrees and climbing. Anyway, I opened all the windows and doors and
turned on the attic fan. I met the preacher in the driveway and off to the wedding
we went (didnt want to subject him to that, plus he'd think I was an axe murderer
and that the bodies were stored neatly underneath the house).
Luckily, after we got home from being hitched the home had lost most of it's unique
appeal so that we could close the doors and windows back up and fire up the
A/C for the reception party.
KnucklHed BBQ
Babbling Farker
OMG!!! That is horribly AWESOME!! Man, it had to have felt like nothing could go right! I hate those days. 
Did you tell anyone at the reception why ya'll were chowin' burgers instead of Q? :becky:
Did you tell anyone at the reception why ya'll were chowin' burgers instead of Q? :becky:
S
Smiter Q
Guest
@ LAKEDOGS..
Oh my.... I think I would have rather been imploded by a black hole rather than go through that on a WEDDING DAY!!:shock::wacko:
@KnucklHed BBQ.. re:the story at your Mom's...
Oh man... that was the saddest and funniest thing I read in a loooooooooooong time. You poor poor man!:doh:
I was laughing out loud so hard that I was losing my breath, while at the same time praying for you!ray:ray:
Oh my.... I think I would have rather been imploded by a black hole rather than go through that on a WEDDING DAY!!:shock:
:wacko:@KnucklHed BBQ.. re:the story at your Mom's...
Oh man... that was the saddest and funniest thing I read in a loooooooooooong time. You poor poor man!:doh:
I was laughing out loud so hard that I was losing my breath, while at the same time praying for you!
ray:ray:
Last edited by a moderator:
H
Howtobrew
Guest
Hah! Fortunately this didn't happen to me but to my wife's friend at work.
A couple years ago during the Mars Landings, our friends came home from church and put some porkchops on the grill for Sunday Supper.
Then, he went back inside where the family had just turned on the Nova special of the Mars Spirit Lander they had taped the night before.
They watched it twice.
And then he remembers that he left the porkchops out on the grill! He rushes outside but everything looks fine - no smoke.
He lifts the lid and there are just black outlines of where the porkchops used to be! :-D
A couple years ago during the Mars Landings, our friends came home from church and put some porkchops on the grill for Sunday Supper.
Then, he went back inside where the family had just turned on the Nova special of the Mars Spirit Lander they had taped the night before.
They watched it twice.
And then he remembers that he left the porkchops out on the grill! He rushes outside but everything looks fine - no smoke.
He lifts the lid and there are just black outlines of where the porkchops used to be! :-D
Lake Dogs
Quintessential Chatty Farker
OMG!!! That is horribly AWESOME!! Man, it had to have felt like nothing could go right! I hate those days.
Did you tell anyone at the reception why ya'll were chowin' burgers instead of Q? :becky:
Luckily everything came out ok afterwards and a buddy of mine cooked
the burgers for me while we were hand-shaking and greeting, etc. I
really dont know WHAT I was thinking; I KNOW BETTER. I KNEW BETTER.
This was just 1 bone headed move after another. Honestly, I had the
wedding and the party on my mind and wasnt paying attention to BBQ...
Yeah, being as I had a pretty fair reputation for pulled pork (luckily still
do, I think), I had a few people ask about it. Oh well, bad things happen
I guess. Nothing nearly as bad though as the exploding bag episode
above.
Oh, my daughter (recall; 2nd wedding) gives me grief about this every
chance she gets. Always something about "BBQing any rotting camels
lately, Dad?"
Lesson: DONT RAISE A BONAFIDE SMART @#$
chaddie
Full Fledged Farker
- Joined
- Oct 25, 2009
- Location
- Ridgefield WA
I think it was the third smoke I was doing in my newly built UDS. I was cooking a whole chic at about 270* soaked with a olive oil-spice blend. I remove the dome and set it aside, probe it, temp is right, so take it into the house to wrap & rest.. NOT REPLACING THE LID!!!:doh: So I'm dinkin around the the house for a few min. when out of the corner of my eye I notice though the window a bright light.CHIT FARK DAM DAM FARK CHIT!!!!! There's flames a foot high coming outa the drum!!! I run out, throw the lid on close intake & vents. 30 min. later I slowly approch that fire breathing monster with me eyes on the nearby fire extinguisher, and slowly crack the lid. OK.... alls good, no more flames! I was sure I was going to start the woods on fire!!!! Next drum I need to burn out, screw the pallets, I'm using Mesquite lump, chicken fat and olive oil.:wink:
KnucklHed BBQ
Babbling Farker
Bippity-Boppity-BACON!! I mean, BUMP!! :becky:
I have a new disaster to share with ya' all... it'll have to wait until this evening when I get home to post all the pics, but here's a teaser - cooking for 200 people, 80lbs of totally ruined, nasty brisket and me loosing my hair. :tsk:
I have a new disaster to share with ya' all... it'll have to wait until this evening when I get home to post all the pics, but here's a teaser - cooking for 200 people, 80lbs of totally ruined, nasty brisket and me loosing my hair. :tsk:
D
dgassaway
Guest
You should save some to turn in at Yakima....oh fark did I say that out loud? :heh:
boogiesnap
Babbling Farker
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2010
- Location
- NEW ENGLAND
ok, here's mine. i still have the tonka firetruck given to me as a jab from my FIL.
so the family decides to have my wife and my engagement party at my in-laws newly built home. a very beautiful and well built structure it was.
rumor had it i was a pretty darn bbq'er. so it was agreed i would cook pork and beef ribs for 100. okay, i got a new brunfels silver smoker, hhhmmm.
we buy a brinkman WSM style water pan smoker and i throw in what had to have been 150 pounds of meat. both racks stacked from top to bottom.
i tend the fire, rotate the meat periodically and everything is going just fine. first round of ribs come out and they're actually good, i load it up again. guess what i didn't re-load OR empty?
the WATER PAN!!!!
after about 2 hours of neglect and beer drinking a tower of heat and flame caught the crowds eye and i wandered over to the commotion. the water pan filled with fat, spilled over onto the fire, and then caught fire itself!
it had to be 25 feet high and the FIL swore his house was going to burn down. welcome to the family fella, thanks for burning down my house.
no amount of sand, fire extinguisher, oxygen depravation, could put this thing out.
what the fark? you couldn't even get NEAR it!
but, and i swear, the bartender on his own merit, decided to approach, open, reach in, and retreive the meat from this inferno. i mean literally 25 foot high flames.
an appropriate fire extinguisher was found and all the ribs eaten, but almost 10 years later and i'm still asked if i have the fire extinguisher handy.
rightfully so, and yes, i do.
so the family decides to have my wife and my engagement party at my in-laws newly built home. a very beautiful and well built structure it was.
rumor had it i was a pretty darn bbq'er. so it was agreed i would cook pork and beef ribs for 100. okay, i got a new brunfels silver smoker, hhhmmm.
we buy a brinkman WSM style water pan smoker and i throw in what had to have been 150 pounds of meat. both racks stacked from top to bottom.
i tend the fire, rotate the meat periodically and everything is going just fine. first round of ribs come out and they're actually good, i load it up again. guess what i didn't re-load OR empty?
the WATER PAN!!!!
after about 2 hours of neglect and beer drinking a tower of heat and flame caught the crowds eye and i wandered over to the commotion. the water pan filled with fat, spilled over onto the fire, and then caught fire itself!
it had to be 25 feet high and the FIL swore his house was going to burn down. welcome to the family fella, thanks for burning down my house.
no amount of sand, fire extinguisher, oxygen depravation, could put this thing out.
what the fark? you couldn't even get NEAR it!
but, and i swear, the bartender on his own merit, decided to approach, open, reach in, and retreive the meat from this inferno. i mean literally 25 foot high flames.
an appropriate fire extinguisher was found and all the ribs eaten, but almost 10 years later and i'm still asked if i have the fire extinguisher handy.
rightfully so, and yes, i do.
Similar threads
