What follows is the excerpt of a recent scientific presentation given by my
Master at a BBQ convention. I (Gore) have faithfully reproduced the
proceedings for your interest:
Master: Ladies, Gentlemen, Gooood Eevening! You are about to witness
history in the making. I am about to present to you the greatest BBQ
invention, since that of …wood. Some people may think I am mad, and
they may be right, but aren’t all great geniuses mad?.........
[please, forgive me, I had to attend to preparations at this point and am
unable to reproduce my Master’s speech in its entirety. I continue at the
end of the introduction]
…
Potato skins and chicken wings will soon be a thing of the past! Fried
zucchini? I laugh at fried zucchini, ha! I will now present to you,…my
creation. My assistant and I will demonstrate this for your benefit.
[Aside]
Gore, is the sausage ready?
I (Gore): Ready, Master.
Master: Gore, is the bacon weave ready?
I (Gore): Ready, Master.
[The specimen is suitably cooked and we are all familiar with the procedure]
Master: Gore, has the specimen been suitably prepared?
I (Gore): It has, my Master.
Master: Gore, fill the specimen with the vital fluid and let the audience
behold my creation,… Fattie-Stein!
At this point there was a great commotion and my Master was
overwhelmed by a mob carrying scythes and pitchforks. Luckily, I managed
to escape by hiding in a cooling Traeger, suffering only minor burns in the
process. I have recovered and would like to submit the last picture in my
Master’s memory. I am off to Transylvania tomorrow to discover his fate. I
have heard rumors of a confectioner selling ice cream in fattie cones in a
remote mountain village and must investigate.
Please note that one revolutionary feature of this entry is that the vital
fluid remains very much in tact. In this case, it is an Imperial Stout having
an alcohol content of approximately 10% that I (Gore) prepared for the
Master. I can assure you [hic] that this was not depleted during the
preparation of this entry.