Murphy's Law

[landarc]

Bandit, that FArking FWOOSH story is one of the classics.

 

[tish]

We've all had them days...

http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41855

And a classic from Poobah... can you say "Farking fwoooosh"?
http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7211

OMG!! lol I was trying to read these stories to Harvard, and I was laughing so hard, he just kept saying "What? What?" over and over again. He was laughing hysterically, too, but he couldn't even understand what I was saying! He went and got me tissues to wipe my eyes with while I tried to control myself. Good Lord, that was farkin' funny.

In the meantime, I went back out to find the smoker at a cool 100* and I said what the fark is going on here now??? Apparently, some of the coals weren't really butted up well to the rest of the stuff that pretty much burned itself out over the coarse of the last 6 hours (who takes more than 6 hours to cook a fattie??) and I needed to disassemble the whole farkin' thing to rearrange the coals. I cannot believe this is still the same original load of lump I put in the smoker for my first cook a month ago. Well, when last I looked, the smoker is back together again, the meat is back on, and I actually have blue smoke drifting out the top vents.

I had to laugh when I read the part of the Grand Poobah's story where he's standing there in the middle of his disaster thinking to himself, "I gotta get a picture of this!" I've been taking photos right along of everything, including the chittin' turkey vultures that tried to steal the farkin' fattie while my back was turned! This is gonna be one to tell my grandkids one day. lol

 

[EastSideRich]

constantly.

I do have a suggestion for a solution to your bacon problem though.
I have learned to divide a pack of bacon into quarters immediately upon buying it (partially freeze it, then just cut into quarters, then cut one of the quarters in half).
Vac pack the quarters, then freeze. this way whenever I need some, I can just pop a small pack into running water, and in about 10 minutes or so - voila - thawed bacon.

I've also learned to save the drippings from cooked bacon in a cup in the freezer for sauteing onions or whatever.

 

[NorthwestBBQ]

OMG!! lol I was trying to read these stories to Harvard, and I was laughing so hard, he just kept saying "What? What?" over and over again. He was laughing hysterically, too, but he couldn't even understand what I was saying! He went and got me tissues to wipe my eyes with while I tried to control myself. Good Lord, that was farkin' funny.

In the meantime, I went back out to find the smoker at a cool 100* and I said what the fark is going on here now??? Apparently, some of the coals weren't really butted up well to the rest of the stuff that pretty much burned itself out over the coarse of the last 6 hours (who takes more than 6 hours to cook a fattie??) and I needed to disassemble the whole farkin' thing to rearrange the coals. I cannot believe this is still the same original load of lump I put in the smoker for my first cook a month ago. Well, when last I looked, the smoker is back together again, the meat is back on, and I actually have blue smoke drifting out the top vents.

I had to laugh when I read the part of the Grand Poobah's story where he's standing there in the middle of his disaster thinking to himself, "I gotta get a picture of this!" I've been taking photos right along of everything, including the chittin' turkey vultures that tried to steal the farkin' fattie while my back was turned! This is gonna be one to tell my grandkids one day. lol

Who's Harvard?

 

[tish]

Well, I'm on my last try here, folks. I went out and found that after the temp climbed to 225 yet again, it was now back down to 150* and dropping. I still had unburned lump in there, so I'm not sure what the problem is. I got it going again, and the vents are still open, so if I go out and find it's not cooking anything still, I'm gonna pack it in. Believe it or not, I haven't eaten a blessed thing today except a tiny little piece of apple crisp. I'm ready to eat the farkin' thing raw. :roll:

 

[cameraman]

There comes a time in every pharkers life that they pull the pharkin food off the pharkin smoker and stick it in the pharkin oven so they can eat. I'd suggest that time has come for you Tish.

 

[tish]

Thanks, Dave. I went out to look at it, and now the temp was coming back up to about 200*! :doh: So, I think I could have finished it out there, but I'm just too farkin' hungry. At exactly 2100, I put it in the oven. It's been out on that farking smoker for the last 8-1/2 hours!! Is this some kind of world's record or something? I'm thinking because I had to start and then slow the cook at the beginning, to the point that it finally went out, I somehow messed up the lump. It was a start and stop thing for the first few hours. After that, it probably would have been ok if I had put a small chimney's worth of embers in there, but what was in there wasn't enough to get something going. Even though I'd use the bellows to get a flame going, and then go back in the house, I'd come out 1/2 hour later, and it was dead or dying again. Probably should have just started over again from scratch, but I was so weary but that time, I didn't relish the idea of going up and down the stairs to the garage to get more lump. I'll post the photos if anyone cares to see them, but there's really nothing to see. lol It just went from bad, to worse, to stall for the rest of the day... and night. Just a bunch of shots of frustration, is all. I'll get one more shot of the finished fattie, I guess. I'm pooped and starving. :help:

 

[Ole Man Dan]

I thought Murhpy's Law was that you must always keep enough Irish whiskey around to keep you happy when things go wrong.

It passes the time much faster too...