My Neighbor is let's say, not as Aggressive, or some say fortunate -

[mchar69]

but I am both, and called him and told him to bring his plate over to get some wings, fresh corn on the cob, and Potato Salad.

Way better than his usual ramen and other crap.


I like to help those who want to help themselves, this guy just isn't into helping himself. Wife pays him $50 to help work on the yard, he goes and buys a $15 pizza with that money. [wtf.]

I throw him some 'bones' every now and then, like today.

He has 5 kids, he's age 39 (?), his eldest (19) is more successful than he is already, son has a steady job.
I know if I offered him food every day of the week he would take it, no questions. No shame, nothing. He does say Thank You.
So that's a start.

 

[pjtexas1]

Good on you! I had weird neighbors once. I never fed the adults but I fed the kids something nearly every day. They would come over just about every day to play with my kid. I'm guessing at 39 he's not gonna change.

Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

 

[16Adams]

As we go through life, if you’re lucky you have the ability to recognize the unable versus the unwilling. What takes strength is treating the two the same. There’s no telling what significant emotional experience(s) caused his fire to dim. Physical-Emotional-Real-Perceived.
Doesn’t matter-you treated him well. Good job sharing the Q.

 

[PLS9087]

Well put!

 

[mchar69]

We help him alot, get him jobs, etc. We help our renters stop getting ripped off in so many ways and help them with taxes, etc.
I am no bleeding heart but there ARE some companies who prey on the poor -
rent this washer/dryer for $85 a month for 40 months.....
my wife and I step in between this nonsense and try and educate and inform people.
We offer lots of help, but over the last 20 years, most is unheeded.
Our model renter held the gun in a bankrobbery in Hagerstown Maryland.
We had been holding her hand and helping her for 3 or 4 years.
ONE DAY, she's doing 5- 10.
Can't help people who - man - I am at a loss. we loved that girl like a daughter.

 

[BrewHo]

As we go through life, if you’re lucky you have the ability to recognize the unable versus the unwilling. What takes strength is treating the two the same. There’s no telling what significant emotional experience(s) caused his fire to dim. Physical-Emotional-Real-Perceived.
Doesn’t matter-you treated him well. Good job sharing the Q.

I’m not convinced they should be treated the same.

Those who are unable can only do so much no matter what they choose. Those who are unwilling could do more if they so chose. I’ll give those who are unable all the help I can muster. I’ll give those who are unwilling just what they choose for themself.

If you don’t agree please feel free to educate me about why my approach is not as good as it might be.

Thanks!

 

[mchar69]

Adams always has a way with words -

Good job sharing the Q.

That was my thinking.

 

[mchar69]

If you don’t agree please feel free to educate me about why my approach is not as good as it might be.

I think Adams is saying you MUST absolutely treat everyone the same.
That make alot of sense. When they prove you wrong, is where there is issue.


I could pass 10000 Japanese in 1942. Mostly in California.

Depending on where I was, I bet most of them meant me no harm
Basically NONE of those meant harm.

 

[SmittyJonz]

I don't Feed Neighbors or Stray Dogs............I do Feed Weirdos at Tx Bash(s) tho.........

 

[MrOGH]

As we go through life, if you’re lucky you have the ability to recognize the unable versus the unwilling. What takes strength is treating the two the same. There’s no telling what significant emotional experience(s) caused his fire to dim. Physical-Emotional-Real-Perceived.
Doesn’t matter-you treated him well. Good job sharing the Q.

I don’t know about that.

I can tolerate a lot of things; ignorance, lack of opportunities, mental and physical shortcomings, etc, but lack of effort really doesn’t bode will with me.

 

[drunkenmeatfist]

I’m not convinced they should be treated the same.

Those who are unable can only do so much no matter what they choose. Those who are unwilling could do more if they so chose. I’ll give those who are unable all the help I can muster. I’ll give those who are unwilling just what they choose for themself.

If you don’t agree please feel free to educate me about why my approach is not as good as it might be.

Thanks!

I think it is a very Zen type statement. Be nice to everyone when you can. You probably can't change their ways and you don't necessarily need to try to change them. But if you have the means you can still share the Q.

 

[SmokinAussie]

You should always share BBQ.

 

[Sid Post]

As we go through life, if you’re lucky you have the ability to recognize the unable versus the unwilling. What takes strength is treating the two the same. There’s no telling what significant emotional experience(s) caused his fire to dim. Physical-Emotional-Real-Perceived.
Doesn’t matter-you treated him well. Good job sharing the Q.

Well put. You never know what internal battle someone else is facing. Some have horrific childhoods and others suffered adult tragedies that are hard for others to even understand.

Then there are others that willfully choose to be false victims of someone else who are totally unwilling to help themselves.

All you have to do is look at the multigenerational children stuck in welfare and section 8 housing and the ones that rose out of it and now live a much better life. Are they still stuck in the vicious cycle of welfare and public assistance due to slavery many generations ago or, something else?

While my story is different, it is similar. I had a lot of motivation to go to college and get a degree that would earn me a living so I could move on and not return to where I came from due to lack of any other choice. My story is not unique but, very different from my sisters. Instead of saying "it isn't fair", I sucked it up and did what was required, skipped Friday's and Saturday's at the bars and dance halls, often falling asleep at a 4 AM on Saturday morning in an engineering lab on top of my lab notebooks. Did I feel deprived because I didn't go on Spring Break to some sunburns and a booze-filled trip to a beach somewhere to chase girls and brag about conquests or, was I grateful I still had enough credit left on my cards to buy books and green lab graph paper? Yes, there were times it really sucked but, I graduated and moved on for a few decades. Now I have basically returned to where I grew up but, the context of what my life is now is much better! :grin:

 

[Shiz-Nit]

The world needs more of this right now that for sure.
Simple kind words or a kind act like this you have done in sharing a meal and fellowship can have an impact on someone else life that we may not realize how much.

 

[SonVolt]

This is an odd mix of touching and insulting at the same time. Bravo.

 

[Inthewoods]

I love the "neighbor" threads!

-D

 

[jzadski]

Good for you sharing bbq and your thoughtfulness. And even better for the 19 yo on keeping himself straight

 

[Learning to BBQ]

Hey, good for you Brother! It is us who decide for ourselves who the 'unable' or 'unwilling' are, but who are we to know what it is that makes them up and what they are dealing with. I am the first one who would not help an 'unwilling'. But I think Mchar and Adams just tought me something. Who am I to know what their whole story is?

 

[JGarvey]

Dang, I was a day late for a plate lol! Looks great, some people you just can’t help. Thanks again for the grill!

 

[mchar69]

Dang, I was a day late for a plate lol! Looks great, some people you just can’t help. Thanks again for the grill!

Man I had few left over! THey were ridiculous! And thank for re-homing that performer! My client was going to throw it out - I said NOPE!!
Wish I could have met you.