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Golden Gateway Faux-OINK balls! (I'm so ashamed.)

BigButzBBQ

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After the discussions lately regarding California BBQ and Bacon being the gateway meat for Vegans to fall off the wagon, it's little wonder when I happened upon some "meatless" meatballs that I got a very evil idea. :twisted:
The idea being for....

Golden Gateway Faux-OINK Balls!

The premise is simple. What better way to truly embark a vegan upon the grand adventures that is all things meat, and specially BBQ, than with salute to that most wonderful of delicacies. The MOINK Ball!
Here are the main ingredients. Regular bacon simply wouldn't have made due for these so, my latest Bacon of the Month selection was used.
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This is what was inside the box...
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Each "meatball" was wrapped with half a slice of bacon.
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They were then rolled in some rub and then went on to the OTG to cook indirectly. Now, I know the power of MOINK is strong and is not something to be taken lightly. I found this out when Half way through cooking, my grill went out and would not light back up. :shock: Now, it could have had something to do with the -5 temperature out coupled with the wind that actually dropped it down to -15. But, I think it has more to do something with the supernatural force of the MOINKiverse. Needless to say, they had to be finished out in the oven. But, they still looked pretty good, I must say!
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Here they are all ready to corrupt er,... guide a vegan into the world of meat!
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I have to be honest, even though they looked really good, I was scared to try them. Those of us who have been forced to eat "meatless" meat products at one time or another are well aware of the possible bland cardboard like taste these things usually have but, for the sake of the experiment I took a bite!
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:shock:
Now... everyone knows that the marriage between Beef and Pork is what makes the standard MOINK the awesomeness that it is. In the case of these, there was only the pork to lean on. I must say though... they didn't suck! :shock: :shock: :shock: :faint:
It was more like chicken wrapped with bacon than anything but, the overall flavor was quite pleasing and I think it will work most excellently in converting any vegans willing to take the first initial plunge!
Thanks for looking! :thumb:
 
:shocked: and if that is not clear enough :shocked::shocked:

They do looks tasty, but, even I, the tofu eater of the forum, have a hard time with fauxballs. Still, they do look tasty...
 
Just for using the word MOINK in that post I am petitioning the International MOINK Ball Appreciation Society for a revocation of Certification.
 
Phirst of all...very nice experiment and story Butsz!:cool:
I'm gonna hang out in this thread of yours!:pop2:
 
Just for using the word MOINK in that post I am petitioning the International MOINK Ball Appreciation Society for a revocation of Certification.
I don't blame you, I feel so dirty, and the blood won't wash off my hands no matter how hard I try. :tsk: :tsk:
 
After an emergency meeting the decision has been made. The answer is:

WWCD...
 
What Would Chambers Do. You are maybe saved here, the sergeant at arms is a man of the cloth after all. Forgiveness is in his nature, then again, he is a Texan...

By the way, that is not blood as that is not beef, that is probably beet based food coloring :becky:
 
What Would Chambers Do. You are maybe saved here, the sergeant at arms is a man of the cloth after all. Forgiveness is in his nature, then again, he is a Texan...

By the way, that is not blood as that is not beef, that is probably beet based food coloring :becky:
There may have been an attempt at some sort of sacrificial redemption that may have been the source of the blood...

Have you no shame Butz? That's almost slanderous..... :crazy:
I am very ashamed, sometimes I can't control the evil impulses... :tsk:
 
So would they be FOINK balls?

They do look tasty.

Hmm... FOINK balls - everything that tries to be a MOINK ball but isn't.
 
This reminds me of my friend. He saw some pics on facebook of a fatty I made and wanted to make one. I gather a ton of info for him...different recipes, link to make a bacon weave, a little history. I'm answering questions all week about what temp to cook and how long, etc. Then he goes last night and cooks the farking thing in his oven.:doh: I have yet to ask him how it went. I don't want to know.

Two rules I think you would be safe to follow. Don't cook anything on the oven when you can cook it on the smoker, and never use meatless meatballs.
 
This reminds me of my friend. He saw some pics on facebook of a fatty I made and wanted to make one. I gather a ton of info for him...different recipes, link to make a bacon weave, a little history. I'm answering questions all week about what temp to cook and how long, etc. Then he goes last night and cooks the farking thing in his oven.:doh: I have yet to ask him how it went. I don't want to know.

Two rules I think you would be safe to follow. Don't cook anything on the oven when you can cook it on the smoker, and never use meatless meatballs.


Thats like boiling ribs. :sick:
 
This reminds me of my friend. He saw some pics on facebook of a fatty I made and wanted to make one. I gather a ton of info for him...different recipes, link to make a bacon weave, a little history. I'm answering questions all week about what temp to cook and how long, etc. Then he goes last night and cooks the farking thing in his oven.:doh: I have yet to ask him how it went. I don't want to know.

Two rules I think you would be safe to follow. Don't cook anything on the oven when you can cook it on the smoker, and never use meatless meatballs.


Thanks for your story!:cool:

ButsZ knows how to do it right but sometimes us Brethren get a bit off track...:thumb:
 
After consultation with section 183, subsection 43, paragraph 1, line 2 and after much deliberation and prayer. I make this recommendation to the IMBAS.

Have Tom assassinated. No wait. That's illegal.
Okay, since he has shown remorse and seems to be truly repentant (well, somewhat repentant). I say we forgive him. In order to show the sincerity of his remorse, order him to make genuine MOINKs for the Super Bowl.

What say the board?
 
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