heatseeker
Full Fledged Farker
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2012
- Location
- Roswell, GA
Hey guys and gals. It's been a long time. Too long in fact. Sorry to those who tried to reach out to me. I wasn't in a head space to talk. I'm still not sure I'm 100% there, but I figured....why not go for it.
As some of you know, my wife and I almost lost our son at birth and it's been an uphill battle everyday. He's approaching 3 now (in March) and I can't begin to be grateful enough that he is alive and doing as well as he is. He's diagnosed with cerebral palsy and sensory processing disorder. In August, I had to officially close my business down to work full-time with his special needs due to my wife's health issues. In the past 3 years, I have probably smoked food no more than 5 different occasions. My heart just hasn't been in it. Battling stress, anxiety, depression and what not.
Earlier today, I was cleaning out the garage and getting it re-organized. I opened a crate that I hadn't looked in for at least 2.5 years. Only 2 items in there. 1 of those items...an unopened bag of hickory wood chunks. With a small smile on my face, I glanced out the window at my TRULY ugly uds by this point. In a fashion that only the brethren (and sistren) can understand, I apologized to my uds for abandoning her. The last time I smoked (or tried to smoke) something was about 6 or 7 months ago. I didn't confirm temps. I didn't check for doneness. I just knew it wasn't right and threw it in the oven.
But.....I'm starting to get the itch back. I strolled past the meat section at the grocer and saw that the butts were all gone....and I got a little disappointed that they weren't there. Day by day, I'm getting stronger emotionally. Who knows, I just might have some pron coming before 2016 hits. Baby steps.
Anywho, just wanted to show my face and thank everyone for their well wishes, thoughts, and prayers. They were and still are needed.
As some of you know, my wife and I almost lost our son at birth and it's been an uphill battle everyday. He's approaching 3 now (in March) and I can't begin to be grateful enough that he is alive and doing as well as he is. He's diagnosed with cerebral palsy and sensory processing disorder. In August, I had to officially close my business down to work full-time with his special needs due to my wife's health issues. In the past 3 years, I have probably smoked food no more than 5 different occasions. My heart just hasn't been in it. Battling stress, anxiety, depression and what not.
Earlier today, I was cleaning out the garage and getting it re-organized. I opened a crate that I hadn't looked in for at least 2.5 years. Only 2 items in there. 1 of those items...an unopened bag of hickory wood chunks. With a small smile on my face, I glanced out the window at my TRULY ugly uds by this point. In a fashion that only the brethren (and sistren) can understand, I apologized to my uds for abandoning her. The last time I smoked (or tried to smoke) something was about 6 or 7 months ago. I didn't confirm temps. I didn't check for doneness. I just knew it wasn't right and threw it in the oven.
But.....I'm starting to get the itch back. I strolled past the meat section at the grocer and saw that the butts were all gone....and I got a little disappointed that they weren't there. Day by day, I'm getting stronger emotionally. Who knows, I just might have some pron coming before 2016 hits. Baby steps.
Anywho, just wanted to show my face and thank everyone for their well wishes, thoughts, and prayers. They were and still are needed.
