Rat's famous pork tenderloin recipe

[RatSass]

Got this recipe years ago and have been using it for years. Best pork tenderloin I've ever had and everybody that tries it loves it. Thought it was time to share:

As a public service to my trusted allies I'm sharing this recipe. It is badass. Never fails. Always impresses. It's a little bit of a pain in the ass to source the two main marinade ingredients (in TN) but worth the trouble. Emphasis added below because I've had friends try to shortcut the ingredients and it sucks when you do.

Ingredients:

1 package containing 2 pork TENDERloins. NO, not LOINS

1 entire head of Elephant Garlic
NO, NOT REGULAR GARLIC

8-12 ounces of DARK soy sauce. NO, NOT REGULAR SOY SAUCE

1 entire stick of butter. Whatever kind of butter. Butter is butter.

Look around and find the right ingredients. Don't be trying to substitute the wrong ingredients for my awesome, badass recipe.

Rough chop/slice the entire freakin head of elephant garlic. Not 1 clove-the entire package. Doesn't have to be chopped too fine. That's a US quarter for comparison.


Sauté (sweat) the garlic in the melted stick of butter. Add the dark soy and stir well.

Don't go getting all freaky and try to use regular soy sauce. Your dog or pet goat won't be able to choke this stuff down if you screw up and buy regular soy sauce or try to use regular garlic. Let marinade cool.

Lay the two tenderloins out, pierce them all over with a fork and rub with some black pepper. It ain't rocket science just use whatever amount you're comfortable with.

Pour the mixed up marinade on top in a baking dish, plastic container or my personal favorite a 2 1/2 gallon zip lock bag. Turn to cover the meat.

Stick in the fridge for 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Not 2. Not 5. I like to rotate or turn the tenderloins every half hour to hour. The fridge is that big 6 foot tall box in your wife's room that you keep your beer in. It's usually white or silver in color. Ask her if in doubt. Also if she's one of those really good wives that not only makes the sandwiches but fetches your beers don't admit you know of said fridge's existence. Marinate the meat in a cooler in the backyard with some ice.

After 2-1/2 to 3 hours take your meat out (hahahaha) and let it get closer to room temp. I let it sit out for half an hour which is coincidentally about how long it takes charcoal to burn down after lighting and get right for cooking.
Can't help you if you have gas (hahahaha again). Get rid of that gas grille.

Toss on the grill over some grey coals or low to medium heat if you still haven't tossed out that pathetic gas grille. I toss a hickory chunk on the fire at this point. The marinade is a mighty bold flavor so the bold hickory smoke makes it even better. Pecan or cherry don't cut it.

Close the lid with the vents open and slow grill the suckers until they are MEDIUM. Turn them every 4 or 5 minutes. That would be 145 degrees for anybody sophisticated enough to own an instant read thermometer. If you don't have one, quit being a cheap, amateurish schmuck and order one. Your friends and loved ones will think you've become a grilling God.

Warning: it will smell like a barnyard the first five or ten minutes it's cooking due to all that butter burning.

Halfway there. Note the lack of flames and charred flesh:

You want them to have a little pink in the middle. 145 is minimum cooked temp for pork and the max you want to cook this dish. I cook to 138 and let them sit covered ten minutes. They rise to 143 to 145.

If you've ignored my sage thermometer advice and insist on being cheap and amateurish then eyeball them and try to determine that they're done by picking them up from one end with tongs. When they just start to stiffen up and don't bend easily they're getting right. Ask your wife if in doubt whether the meat's stiff enough. Bet you get a wisecrack.

After 20 minutes at 325-350 degrees according to the 49 cent thermometer on the grill:

You know deep down that grill thermometer is a no-good, lying piece of crap, but it makes you feel better THINKING it's 325 degrees inside the grill. The reality is it's roughly somewhere between 215 and 499 degrees in there, give or take a few.

Let them sit 10-15 minutes covered with foil after they hit 135-140 (the temp will climb while they're resting) then slice into medallions about 1/2" thick. They can sit for 30 minutes and that just makes them juicier and better. Hide the knives because all you need to cut the medallions up and eat them is a fork.

Done:

Congratulations. Everybody you cook this for will bow down and praise you. Also you will definitely need some French bread to sop up the ungodly juices on the platter after you have sliced this up. In fact you can probably just toss out the meat and sop up the juice and call that dinner.

Try it and let me know what you think.

[sturev]

Hilarious... looks great Rat! Thanks for sharing.

[MisterChrister]

I'll try this! The food looks great, and the tutorial is a HOOT, I don't give a RatSass what anybody says! You need to post more often!

[defib]

I have some tenderloins in the freezer I need to use. I will be trying this.

[Ron_L]

Looks great!

[RatSass]

Hope you all try it, hope you enjoy it and get as much pleasure out of astounding family and friends as I have.

If you try it report back how it went!!!

[Stingerhook]

Fantabulous!

[Big George's BBQ]

Thanks Will have to check this out

[NOHENS]

Very nice and PitmasterT like......kinda only different! Sound good and I'll try it for sure! Great post!

[Bigr314]

Very nice post. Will have to try this very soon.

[IamMadMan]

Very nice, on my to-do list....

[Happy Hapgood]

Looking good. I've got this one bookmarked. Thanks for posting!

[Ag76]

Looks very good. Thanks.

[tonyjohnson619]

Looks good ratsass and will be definitely trying this one

[T.Mac]

Originally Posted by RatSass

Don't be trying to substitute the wrong ingredients for my awesome, badass recipe.

Enjoyed the write up and can't wait to try it. Thanks for sharing.