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Q-talk *ON TOPIC ONLY* QUALITY ON TOPIC discussion of Backyard BBQ, grilling, equipment and outdoor cookin' . ** Other cooking techniques are welcomed for when your cookin' in the kitchen. Post your hints, tips, tricks & techniques, success, failures, but stay on topic and watch for that hijacking. |
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12-03-2017, 05:53 PM | #1 |
Full Fledged Farker
Join Date: 03-28-13
Location: NorCal
Name/Nickname : RemoGaggi
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Dumb friends that want to cook like you?
Just a little venting here, but just wondering if you've got good friends that are completely clueless as to smoking/grilling, that want to produce great food like you, but never listen to any advice/tips you give them nor do they work at learning.
One of my best friends is a licensed civil engineer. I've known him since we were in high school (33 years). He wants to cook brisket and ribs like me. Last year he buys himself a 14" Smokey Mountain. He used it maybe twice last year (summer 2016) and each time he calls me asking me how to light the charcoal. Yesterday, he texts me asking if the vents need to be opened or closed when lighting. Really? I should have told him "closed" and let him fumble around it until he figured it out. But I went over the starting procedure again, like a good friend would. He calls me this afternoon at 1pm, all excited about just buying a brisket and he's going home to smoke it. I asked him how big is the brisket and he says 5#. (Turns out he bought just a flat). He keeps asking me how long and what temp to cook at and I swear I've told him (and all my friends) that its difficult to cook brisket to a certain temp, every piece of meat is different, etc. They never listen and its frustrating to repeat myself about basic techniques. They all want treat the meat, whether it's ribs or brisket, like a meatloaf that they can bake for an hour. I tell my friend that it's already 1pm (he's not even home from the store yet) and that he really needed to start the meat earlier and give it time to rest. But, nope, he insists that it will be done by dinner. He texts me at 1:30pm that it's in the smoker. I told him good luck with that. At least he got the fire started....
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Mak 1, PKGO, Akorn Jr., Gabbys 22"w/ Weber SS Performer, Blackstone 22" & Pizza Oven. |
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12-03-2017, 06:04 PM | #2 |
somebody shut me the fark up.
Join Date: 05-28-14
Location: Streamwood, IL
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Any updates from your friend?
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12-03-2017, 06:13 PM | #4 |
is One Chatty Farker
Join Date: 02-14-14
Location: Central OH
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Send them to Amazingribs.com to read. Lol
Sent from my SM-G950U using Tapatalk
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SDG 26' Concession rig, Weber 22.5" x 3, RecTeq1250, UDS with IQ 110, Shirley Fabrication Cabinet Model 24x60 trailer, LS Grillz Large IVS w/offroad package (on the way), Humphreys Q'bed Pint, Assassin 48 |
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12-03-2017, 06:18 PM | #5 |
Quintessential Chatty Farker
Join Date: 04-28-12
Location: Wis-con-sin
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OhMyFriggunGoodness!!! This is my dear friend Matt! I love him to death, but I want to strangle him when he calls/texts several times a year, asking the SAME. FARKING. QUESTIONS. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!!!! You literally had me ROLLING with sympathetic laughter from this thread! I read the thread title to my wife, and she exclaimed "MATT"!!!
EDIT TO ADD; Matt in Madison, not Sauk! Fantomlord is a BBQ Jedi!
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Kettleheads Anonymous Charter Member |
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12-03-2017, 06:28 PM | #6 |
somebody shut me the fark up.
Join Date: 12-28-11
Location: Belton, Tx
Name/Nickname : Texas Pete
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My friends know better than trying to smoke anything.
Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
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Paul (aka Texas Pete) SF 24x36 Midnight Edition / Mak 1-Star /Abe's 48" Insulated Cabinet / 22.5 OTG / 28" BS / Jimmy with CB Roti and pizza kit / Red Box on custom cart / Char-Griller Kettle / Barrel House Cooker / Pit Boss Copperhead / Char-Griller Akorn Jr Sign Up for The 2022 Texas BBQ Brethren Fall Bash Here! (Link) |
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12-03-2017, 06:34 PM | #7 |
is one Smokin' Farker
Join Date: 04-08-12
Location: California
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Think Beentown is on the right track. If he's an engineer send him to a site (maybe one with graphs and charts lol) that he can read and reference. Then he can ask you the questions that the site doesn't answer.
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The Family: 18.5" Weber Kettle (E) 18.5" Weber Smokey Mountain 22.5" Weber Performer (red head SS) Char-Griller Akorn |
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12-03-2017, 06:36 PM | #8 |
Knows what a fatty is.
Join Date: 11-25-17
Location: West Texas
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Well, at least he respects your knowledge. Tell him each time he calls he is charged a sixer of your favorite brew!!! Consulting Fee!!!!!
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Char Griller Pellet Wood PRO GRILL 9040 Blackstone 17 |
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12-03-2017, 06:36 PM | #9 |
is one Smokin' Farker
Join Date: 04-08-12
Location: California
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And if he decided not to listen, please have him take pics along the way for my enjoyment... I mean his education
Then he'll take it seriously, read up/listen and make a brisket he can be real proud of
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The Family: 18.5" Weber Kettle (E) 18.5" Weber Smokey Mountain 22.5" Weber Performer (red head SS) Char-Griller Akorn |
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12-03-2017, 06:41 PM | #10 |
is one Smokin' Farker
Join Date: 12-08-15
Location: Midwest
Name/Nickname : N/A
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I was just at a birthday party and they were serving “brisket” that looked like bbq sauce soup and “pulled pork” that looked like wet cat food.
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Yoder YS 640 Orange Comp / Sold: Traeger Lil Tex Elite |
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12-03-2017, 06:45 PM | #11 |
Babbling Farker
Join Date: 07-28-15
Location: west virgina
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Custom 36x24x24 Vertical Offset,Grilla Grillz Silverbac |
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12-03-2017, 07:05 PM | #12 |
is One Chatty Farker
Join Date: 11-01-14
Location: North Texas
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Most of my friends want to cook like me, but they are unwilling to put in the time or effort needed. I let them cook their one brisket or rack of ribs every year and take a polite bite, but just one!
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KCBS Certified BBQ Judge SCA Certified Judge Lone Star Grillz Large IVS Cookshack FEC-100 Weber Summit 420 Gasser Pit Barrel Cooker Weber 26" Kettle PK Classic Grill |
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12-03-2017, 07:13 PM | #13 |
is one Smokin' Farker
Join Date: 12-08-15
Location: Midwest
Name/Nickname : N/A
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I usually lose people when they are at our house eating dinner and I tell them I was up at 3 am to put the brisket on that they are eating.
Usually that’s enough to turn people away
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Yoder YS 640 Orange Comp / Sold: Traeger Lil Tex Elite |
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12-03-2017, 07:21 PM | #14 |
Babbling Farker
Join Date: 04-19-13
Location: Live Oak, Texas
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I have a nephew like that. He asks me how to cook something, then he tells me how HE is going to do it. Yet, he says he's asking because he really likes the way mine comes out. ?????
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55 gal.UDS stick burner mini WSM red Thermapen There are two kinds of countries in the world, those that use the metric system and the one that sent men to the moon and back. |
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12-03-2017, 07:53 PM | #15 |
Full Fledged Farker
Join Date: 03-28-13
Location: NorCal
Name/Nickname : RemoGaggi
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It's 5:46pm and he just called me asking how to probe the meat for tenderness, again! I tell him to use the thermometer. Then he asks how does he probe without removing the lid. OY VEY!
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Mak 1, PKGO, Akorn Jr., Gabbys 22"w/ Weber SS Performer, Blackstone 22" & Pizza Oven. |
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