Facebook Rant - My Least Favorite Posts

[Bacchus2b]

Anyone else feel this way? What makes you quickly skip ahead to the next topic on FB? Is it just me getting grumpy at the tender old age of 55? I was late to the party getting on Facebook and initially joined just so I would have access to private groups that appeal to me like the Shirley Smoker fan page or Lonestar Grillz fan page. Since then my interests have spread out, and for the most part I enjoy group discussions on pages like North Texas BBQ Addicts, but I could do without ever hearing the following phrases again. What Facebook posts/questions set you off the most??? (This was done in good fun so I promise not to mock you should anyone disagree!)


“Someone tell me how I should smoke” (insert name) that I just bought at the store and needs to be ready for company at noon tomorrow? Does no one research recipes anymore? When I’m cooking something for the first time I try to find out as much information as possible from solid resources instead of soliciting opinions from random strangers. Seems like every other post, especially around the holidays starts with “Someone tell me how”.


“Brisket Style” – I just bought (insert name) and I’m thinking about cooking it for a long time low and slow “Brisket Style”. Most often the poor piece of meat in question is either a Tri-Tip or Pichanha (Sirloin Cap) that deserved better than being cooked to 203 degrees internal. Brisket is a tough SOB with collagen, fat, and connective tissue that needs to be beaten into submission before it’s edible. Ever try a medium-rare Brisket cooked “Steak Style”? Then why would you take a beautiful roast with almost no tough connective tissue to break down and cook it well-done like a Brisket? How about Beef Tenderloin “Brisket Style”? Jumbo Shrimp “Brisket Style”? Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should.


“Dry Aged Brisket” AKA Removing Moisture - Competition cooks spend a lot of time and money trying to keep moisture in their Brisket, purchasing the best grades they can find and often injecting with phosphate’s that help the meat retain liquid. So why would you want to dry age a Brisket which can remove as much as 30% of the water content (depending on how long you age). In theory this concentrates the beef flavor, but who wants a really beefy but dry-as-jerky, tough brisket? Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should.


“Brined, Injected, and Marinated” AKA Adding Moisture – “I bought this Turkey from Kroger and it says it’s already injected with a 10% solution. I’ve heard that you shouldn’t brine a pre-brined turkey, but I’m going to try it anyway, then I’m going to inject it before I marinade.” If anyone remembers your Junior High science class there’s this thing called Osmosis, moving from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration, for example a salty brine imparting moisture to the cell structure of dead flesh. News flash! Meat Cells will only take on so much moisture so using three different methods to impart liquid to one poor bird will not make it better. P.S. - a brine without salt is not a brine!!!!


“Pellet Grill/Smokers are terrible – No flavor from Pellets Cookers, etc.” Just like there is a difference between a $159 Char-Broil Offset smoker and a $10,000 Moberg Offset smoker, all pellet cookers are not created equally! Ask a MAK or FEC-100 owner about that. It’s also not just the quality level of the cooker, but learning the cooker, where are your hot spots, where is the best draft? What pellets work best? It took three or four years of playing around with my FEC-100 to feel like I really have it dialed in for everything I like to cook. People just want to plug in and cook perfect BBQ with no effort on their part, and then they are disappointed in their smoker when that doesn’t happen. Also, if you are used to tasting creosote on your food from the offset smoker you have never cleaned, in conjunction with burning green wood with your exhaust shut down most of the way, no pellet cooker will ever equal that white smoke flavor your burned-out taste buds are craving.


“Fat Side Up or Down” – Usually with no description of what kind of smoker you are using. Traditional Offsets draft differently than a Charcoal Cabinet Smoker, which will draft differently than a Pellet Smoker, which is different than a Drum Smoker, etc. THERE IS NO RIGHT ANSWER that covers all smoking devices.


“How long will this take to cook”? No mention of what temperature you plan on cooking, what device you are cooking on, weight of the food you are cooking, etc. I keep resisting the urge to post my standard response of “UNTIL IT’S DONE!!!”

What else do you have???

[Mikhail]

It's FB. You get what you get. But you are right about one thing - it's like no one ever taught them how to use a search engine.

I never dreamed I would walk around with the sum of the world's knowledge in my pocket, but here we are.

[LYU370]

So you're saying I shouldn't have dry aged my injected turkey? Is it OK to still cook it brisket style? How long do you think it'll take?

[Dmakkk]

Watch this if you can. It explains a lot of what social media is doing to our society and democracy. It is a really good watch especially for parents. The Social Dilemma. Opens your eyes.

https://www.netflix.com/title/81254224

[long haired hippie]

Just laughing here.
Dude, it's Facebook.
I deleted my account there because of these things, among others.
No use to me.

[Smoking Piney]

This is why I don't have an account.

The noise / real info level is way too high.

[Burnt at Both Endz]

Appears you need to run around with a different crowd/friends....just sayin!

[PatAttack]

Originally Posted by Mikhail

It's FB. You get what you get. But you are right about one thing - it's like no one ever taught them how to use a search engine.

I never dreamed I would walk around with the sum of the world's knowledge in my pocket, but here we are.

This is why I love this place.

All the BBQ knowledge of really great people with none of the bitchin', in one spot.

None (for the most part) of the BS.

All killer, no filler.

I've never been on farkbook, chitter or instascam.

This is my only, "social media"...so to speak.

[Dweverett]

Completely agree, though I find the answers annoy me more than the questions and for the same reason. People don't share that they cook at 300 and wrap vs another who cooks at 225 and just lets it ride. Obviously those two folks are going to give very different answers to the question "how long will my 12lb brisket take to cook?"

[PatAttack]

Originally Posted by LYU370

So you're saying I shouldn't have dry aged my injected turkey? Is it OK to still cook it brisket style? How long do you think it'll take?

Re-direct to, "Penalty Forum".

Or, they should click the, "MMMM...BRISKET" in the top left. Right?

Sorry to hijack, OP.

[jham0077]

No social media here either. If I need advice it's all here. Just use the search.

[el_matt]

I had FB for 1 week, then I deleted it. Currently only have Instgram, and that's only to follow "celebrities". This is the only place to go to, for any and all bbq info.

Matt

[Negolien]

I always find the best rule to be if I have nothing to say that would help or praise the person I won't say anything. just me though.

[Nuco59]

Mik is right- the whole knowledge of man is available with a few clicks - and some are still too lazy (or self-entitled) to bother. "Just tell me how".

It seems that no one wants to "look anything up"- remember that saying from back when we had actual books /encyclopedias?

To be fair, there are probably a good number of self starters- they just sail under the radar of posts, unnoticed.

What does get noticed is generic post 14433992 "Hey- I'm looking to do x- and need to know how to go about it. Can someone help me?"

4 minutes later - "so -no one knows?"

[16Adams]

I enjoy Facebook Groups. I enjoy looking at others photography, ideas,comment, derailments, train wrecks over all sites.Not just BBQ but a wide range of topics. I’ve not found anywhere more intelligent and interesting over a wide range of topics than The BBQ Brethren.

But even here, as in every other BBQ site if I had to pick one repeated line,”I put on my brisket and went to bed,and when I woke up....,”