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TexasGuppie
12-20-2007, 11:35 AM
Thought you good folks might be able to add to this and educate the "Griller's, Posers and Wannabees."


It's not real BBQ if the recipe calls for "boiling" the (insert meat to be cooked here) first.Guppie

icemn62
12-20-2007, 11:39 AM
Not reall BBQ if ou can cook (the meat) in less than 45 mins.

bigabyte
12-20-2007, 11:40 AM
It's not real BBQ if there is no wood burned.

Jack2u2
12-20-2007, 11:43 AM
It's not real BBQ if you're worried about "grill marks" rather than bark.

Arlin_MacRae
12-20-2007, 11:55 AM
Iceman! Welcome back!

It's not real BBQ if there's no smoke ring.

Browser
12-20-2007, 11:55 AM
It's not real BBQ if no beer is consumed during it's production!

tjus77
12-20-2007, 11:56 AM
It's not real BBQ if no beer is consumed during it's production!

or hard liquor (no wine, unless it has a screw on cap).

Bigmista
12-20-2007, 12:24 PM
It's not real BBQ if you depend on the sauce for the flavor.

BobBrisket
12-20-2007, 12:27 PM
If liquid smoke is involved.

KC_Bobby
12-20-2007, 12:27 PM
It's not real BBQ if the entree starts with the letters Mc

Grumpy's Q
12-20-2007, 12:29 PM
It's not real BBQ if theres no rubbing involved.

Bigmista
12-20-2007, 12:34 PM
It's not real BBQ if it comes from the oven.

Ford
12-20-2007, 12:37 PM
If you can cook chicken in less than 2 hours, back ribs in less than 4 hours, st. louis cut in less than 6 hours and pork butts and brisket in less than 10 hours.

I agree with having to consume some beer or other adult beverages during the process.

Disagree with the smoke ring comment as I can get smoke ring in an oven without using any smoke at all.

cmcadams
12-20-2007, 12:48 PM
It's not real BBQ if the entree starts with the letters Mc


Careful there... I make a pretty mean McBrisket!

It's not real bbq if you don't get that great smoke cologne smell going.

Roo-B-Q'N
12-20-2007, 01:09 PM
[quote=Ford;518479]If you can cook chicken in less than 2 hours, back ribs in less than 4 hours, st. louis cut in less than 6 hours and pork butts and brisket in less than 10 hours. /quote]


I have taken several walks in each category at comps and my chicken takes about 2 hours, if I cook my st. louis spares longer than 4 1/2 they are mush, and my briskets and butts have never taken 10 hours. This is cooking between 225* and 250* on my Backwoods Party.

It aint BBQ if it comes from from the grocery store in a plastic tub.

Single Fin Smoker
12-20-2007, 01:14 PM
According to Ford I need to start burning the chit out of everything to make it real bbq. My grandma was that way....

It ain't real bbq if your not drunk by the time you finish cooking it.

D.F. Expat
12-20-2007, 01:40 PM
It ain't real "Q" unless it was prepared by a Brethren.

Lakeside Smoker
12-20-2007, 02:16 PM
It's not real BBQ if you don't spend $500, drive at least 2 hours, set up in the wind and rain, party with lots of friends, sleep for 2 hours in the back of your work truck, sweat in 90* heat, run to the turn in tent, and be judged by total strangers! OMG!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!!!!!!!!!

Knothead
12-20-2007, 02:27 PM
Damn Lakeside you took the words right out of my mouth.

itschris
12-20-2007, 02:45 PM
It ain't bbq if you don't smell like sweet blue smoke

Knothead
12-20-2007, 03:01 PM
It ain't BBQ if Bobby Flay made it.

Bigmista
12-20-2007, 03:22 PM
If you can cook chicken in less than 2 hours, back ribs in less than 4 hours, st. louis cut in less than 6 hours and pork butts and brisket in less than 10 hours.

I agree with having to consume some beer or other adult beverages during the process.

Disagree with the smoke ring comment as I can get smoke ring in an oven without using any smoke at all.

Never cooked in a UDS, huh?

My ribs are usually done in 4.5 hours. It a rare and very large brisket that I have to cook over 9 hours and I have done some in as little as 6.

augie
12-20-2007, 03:43 PM
It ain't BBQ if you order it off of a menu...

SmokinCoyote
12-20-2007, 04:17 PM
I believe this has been debated for quite sometime.

http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r197/smokincoyote/Real_q.jpg


It ain't real Q until that precise moment, while watching the sunrise through a wisp of sweet smelling blue smoke, that a tough brisket finally surrenders itself to the gentle heat of an all wood fire and becomes a tender, juicy, smokey masterpiece.

Harbormaster
12-20-2007, 04:38 PM
It ain't real Q until that precise moment, while watching the sunrise through a wisp of sweet smelling blue smoke, that a tough brisket finally surrenders itself to the gentle heat of an all wood fire and becomes a tender, juicy, smokey masterpiece.
Poetry. Farkin.Poetry.Man.

It isn't real Q if it' isn't cooked with love and care.

Papa Hogg
12-20-2007, 04:49 PM
[quote=Ford;518479]
It aint BBQ if it comes from from the grocery store in a plastic tub.

But it says BBQ right on the label

Papa Hogg
12-20-2007, 04:54 PM
It's not real BBQ if it comes from the oven.

UMMM...some brethren are in trouble then

http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showpost.php?p=498762&postcount=2

icemn62
12-20-2007, 04:54 PM
It is not real BBQ if you can not leave the cooker unattended for a few mins, because the food could burn up

icemn62
12-20-2007, 04:56 PM
It is not real BBQ if you don't get excited while thinking about cooking it / eating it / haaving it judged.

Westexbbq
12-20-2007, 05:01 PM
not real unless that first pull, slice, chop, carve or tear produces the satisfied oohs and ahs of close friends along with that special aroma only good Q can impart, not to mention that inner smile and good feeling after the first taste or bite..

rookiedad
12-20-2007, 05:06 PM
it ain't real Q if you don't have no fun making it and if you don't share none with nobody unless of course you're stranded on an island with no one to talk to but a soccer ball, and even then you should at least offer.

phil

ModelMaker
12-20-2007, 05:09 PM
It ain't BBQ unless your wife remarks on how bad your clothes smell.
ModelMaker

Sawdustguy
12-20-2007, 05:54 PM
It ain't BBQ unless your wife remarks on how bad your clothes smell.
ModelMaker

Not me! My wife loves the smell of burnt wood and charcoal.

bigabyte
12-20-2007, 05:55 PM
It ain't BBQ unless your wife remarks on how bad your clothes smell.
ModelMaker
Same here. My wife likes my smoky smell. Makes her hungry for meat. Sauce mod.

Bigmista
12-20-2007, 07:04 PM
UMMM...some brethren are in trouble then

http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showpost.php?p=498762&postcount=2


My bad. Finishing in the oven is ok.

CajunSmoker
12-20-2007, 07:19 PM
It is not real BBQ if you don't get excited while thinking about cooking it / eating it / haaving it judged.


Good to see you Ice:cool: It's not real BBQ unless you have to tell everyone to quit picking at it till it rests properly:icon_blush:

wlh3
12-20-2007, 07:31 PM
Its not real BBQ, till all the chips dips and munchies are all gone and you have made two beer runs and all the friends ,guests, kids, are standing around you saying "when will it be ready"?:biggrin::icon_bigsmil

Ernie3
12-20-2007, 08:12 PM
It's not real BBQ unless it makes you wanna "SMACK YOUR MAMA"!!!!:wink:

smokeandbeer
12-20-2007, 08:17 PM
It's not real BBQ unless I have to get the Black High Temp Paint out on Monday morning to touch up the firebox from prolonged use.

Azinine
12-20-2007, 09:12 PM
What is real BBQ?

txschutte
12-20-2007, 10:49 PM
It's not real BBQ if you wouldn't stand in a snowstorm to cook it.

Pyle's BBQ
12-20-2007, 10:57 PM
It's not real BBQ until you can pull the bone without resistance.

Meat Burner
12-20-2007, 11:03 PM
It's not real BBQ if you depend on the sauce for the flavor.

Ditto!!

QansasjayhawQ
12-20-2007, 11:20 PM
It's not real BBQ if you wouldn't stand in a snowstorm to cook it.
I hear ya on that one!
Snowstorm cookin'! (http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showpost.php?p=380017&postcount=51)
It's not real BBQ unless the aroma drives your neighbors crazy for hours.

Rick's Tropical Delight
12-21-2007, 06:23 AM
it's not real bbq unless...

i got a photopgraph of it. :biggrin:

blues_n_cues
12-21-2007, 08:51 AM
it ain't real bbq if you're cooking alone.

DaHeathen
07-02-2010, 07:24 PM
it ain't real bbq, if it comes from a crock pot. ( Sorry Dad.)

Captain P.J.
07-02-2010, 08:30 PM
It ain't Q if you use gas!

Mister Bob
07-02-2010, 08:32 PM
It's not real BBQ...period!!!

How to Make Microwave "BBQ" Barbecue Ribs in 20 minutes!

http://cdn-sitelife.ehow.com/ver1.0/Content/images/store/7/13/a7adbb11-3f23-4570-bdba-4cb3282c6551.Small.jpg (http://www.ehow.com/members/brittanyj.html)Member

By brittanyj (http://www.ehow.com/members/brittanyj.html), eHow Member Article Rating: (10 Ratings)

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I want to do this! (http://www.ehow.com/account/simple_login.aspx) What's This?

This is a quick and easy way to make Barbecue (http://www.ehow.com/barbecue/) Ribs in 20 minutes flat!



Difficulty: Easy
Instructions

Things You'll Need:


RIBS:
1 rack (2-3 pounds) pork loin back ribs (baby back ribs)
1 teaspoon salt
teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper
FOR BARBECUE SAUCE:
cup water
1 cup ketchup
cup packed brown sugar
2 tablespoons Smoky Barbecue Rub from Pampered Chef or McCormick
2 teaspoons cider vinegar or white vinegar
TOOLS:
microwave
boning or utility knife
deep covered baker or non-metal dutch oven
food thermometer
saucepan
mixing bowl
grill pan or frying pan

Step 1


For ribs, remove membrane from rack of ribs using Boning/Utility Knife (see Cook's Tip below). Season both sides of ribs with salt and black pepper. Cut between each bone to separate rack into individual ribs. Arrange ribs, cut side down, in two layers in Deep Covered Baker. Add water. Microwavehttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/2_bing.gif (http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/#), covered, on HIGH 8 minutes.
Turn ribs over. Microwave on HIGH 7-10 minutes or until Food (http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/#) Thermometer registers 160F when inserted into meatiest part of ribs alongside bones and ribs are no longer pink.
Step 2
For sauce, combine ketchup, brown sugar, barbecuehttp://images.intellitxt.com/ast/adTypes/2_bing.gif (http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/#) rub and vinegar in (1.5-qt.) Saucepan.
Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally; remove from heat.
Step 3
Transfer ribs to (4-qt.) Mixing Bowl. Add 1 cup of the sauce and toss to coat.
Step 4
Heat Grill/Frying Pan over medium heat 5 minutes. Place ribs onto pan; cook 4-6 minutes or until grill marks appear, brushing with remaining sauce and turning once. Transfer ribs to a serving platter.
Serve immediately.



Read more: How to Make Microwave "BBQ" Barbecue Ribs in 20 minutes! | eHow.com (http://www.ehow.com/how_2111663_microwave-bbq-barbecue-ribs-minutes.html#ixzz0sZgAvAqT) http://www.ehow.com/how_2111663_microwave-bbq-barbecue-ribs-minutes.html#ixzz0sZgAvAqT

expatpig
07-02-2010, 08:35 PM
...you cook it with your " Shark Steam Blaster".

Captain P.J.
07-02-2010, 08:38 PM
In the microwave?.. Who? What? WHY??? You might was well throw the ribs right in the trash if your gonna microwave them... Or give them to a Brethren borther!!

UDS
07-02-2010, 08:52 PM
its not real bbq unless you have to rely on other people to know if its good, because your so over smoked yourself:becky:

Boshizzle
07-02-2010, 10:06 PM
It's not real BBQ if it comes in a can.

There are so many types of BBQ that it's hard to tie this one down. Southern CA has a BBQ style that cooks meat over coals on an open grill, Southerners like it cooked in a pit or a ditch, so do Texans, and then you have the Caribbean BBQ which is cooked over coals or a spit. And, some Texans braze the meat in some kind of broth before putting it on a grill, pit, or spit.

Where you come from is a big part in what makes "real" BBQ.

jjdealer
07-02-2010, 10:19 PM
It ain't real BBQ if you don't take a second to reflect on who taught you to BBQ.

lionhrt
07-02-2010, 11:38 PM
It ain't real BBQ unless someone has to undo their belt or pants because they couldn`t stop eating when they were full and at least 2 people pass out, from being to full or to many beers.

kcchiefdav
07-03-2010, 12:17 AM
It's not BBQ if there's any amount of tofu involved (damn college town hippies)

mmmmeat
07-03-2010, 12:23 AM
it aint BBQ if ya dont think of the brethren while you're cookin, if you dont have fun while doin it, and you dont smell like smoke after it!!!

(i disagree with the drinking part.... dont gotta smash on some booze ta make Q, at least i dont...at all :sorry: )

Craig1555
07-03-2010, 12:46 AM
If it's not "real Q" then does that make it "faux Q"?

GreasePig
07-03-2010, 12:54 AM
It's not real BBQ if you hear the words...

"You want fries with that?"

dannypat21
07-03-2010, 01:37 AM
It ain't real BBQ if you don't take a second to reflect on who taught you to BBQ.

Thanks Brethren brothers.

Ceedubya
07-03-2010, 01:41 AM
It ain't BBQ if Bobby Flay made it.

:pound::pound:


It's not real bbq if the word "healthy" is used in anyway to describe it!

SmokinAussie
07-03-2010, 07:54 AM
It's not real Q if you didn't take your time, Light real wood or charcoal, have family and friends around.. take it easy, have sides prepped well in advance. Lot's of booze.. for those that want it. Some snacks for those that can't wait... Like MOINKS etc.... Just love the time, enjoy your friends, cook well, do the best you can do!

Cheers!

Bill

Sean "Puffy" Coals
07-03-2010, 08:10 AM
It's not real BBQ if your hands and face stay clean and dry while eating it.

dannypat21
07-03-2010, 03:10 PM
Its not real BBQ if you dont get a 3rd degree burn once in awhile.