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View Full Version : Who cut the cheese? (a true story unfortunately)


Aceman
03-02-2016, 08:53 AM
This is long, but I need to vent my frustration!

This story is about patience... And an @##$0+*

Three years ago I built a backyard patio for my beautiful wife and I to enjoy. As a gift for our wedding, I had received a Weber Genesis grill (my dream grill). After several cookouts with guest, my wife realized that it's hard to smoke ribs for 4-5hrs, do the chicken and veggies, but to nail the timing that still keeps everything hot.

Beth (my wife) had been keeping her eyes open for a smoker for me. During our trip to Sam's in the fall we saw it and picked it up. This was one of my Christmas presents. I had to look at it every day for 2 months. The key here was PATIENCE.

Along with the smoker, Beth had also bought a 12" amazin smoker tube , pellets, wood chips, 2 smoking cookbooks, multiple rubs, sauces, a vacuum packer and bags for the vacuum packer.

Christmas morning came and I finally got my smoker. But we had too much running around to do. I had to wait till the following day to build it! PATIENCE!

After joining multiple forums, reading the cookbooks, asking a ton of questions and waiting those 2 months (plus one day!) and seasoning the smoker for 4 hours, I finally got to use my smoker! The bacon I made had cured for 10 days. The key to this great bacon? PATIENCE!

Next on the list was to cold smoke cheese. After my days of reading everything I could find and a trip to Kutsops (a local smoking business known for kilbasi and other smoked products) to ask Joe a million questions, it was time. I had purchased an 18oz block of 24 month aged cheddar that was $12-14. I carefully cut the block to keep it consistent in size and weight. PATIENCE!

I rolled out the smoker, packed the tube with hickory wood pellets and torched them for a minute till they lit. I left the cheese at room temperature for an hour too. PATIENCE.

On the smoker it goes with me watching it for the next hour and 20 minutes, making sure the temperature stays between 80-90* adding ice cubes once when it got too warm. PATIENCE!

I put paper towels on top and bottom to help remove the condensation for 4 hours before vacuum sealing it (with the other Christmas present my wife bought for me). After vacuum packing the cheese, I let it age for 3-4 weeks to mellow out the smoke. Again PATIENCE!

This past Sunday, (February, 28th) I brought one of the three pieces I made up to the mountain for the Sunday night crew to try for an appetizer. I put it in the refrigerator at 11:30am along with my lunch. It was in a Cabela's vacuum pack with important-to-me information on it- the date it was smoked, the date to first try it on, which wood was used, the time I smoked it for and a product number so I could compare it to my notes. NO MORE PATIENCE

Unfortunately, by 3:00 some @##+9)3 decided to go into the refrigerator and bring it out for their own lunch. It may have tasted like junk, it may have tasted like an ashtray or it may have tasted like Kutsops. I don't know.

This isn't about the $12-14 or the research and countless hours I've read up on how to smoke, cold smoke or use my smoker in general. This is about losing trust in 80 professional patrollers. You can't leave anything that's not yours alone? I was asked "was your name on it?". No, my name wasn't on it. But you know what? Neither was their name. This isn't about a block of cheese. It's about my wife putting in so much time and money into this for me to enjoy. Yet neither one of us even get to see the results.

At Elk I work with surgeons, doctors, lawyers, federal employees, teachers, administrators, professors, business owners, cops... and a thief.

After my wife spent more money on me than she ever needed to for Christmas, I don't even get to try what I made with all the stuff she bought for me? Is that fair?

Mrfish
03-02-2016, 09:01 AM
That sucks no question about it.

But, no one can take the experience and knowledge you gained. Make some more cheese. Lots of it. :icon_smile_tongue:

PatAttack
03-02-2016, 09:09 AM
Well, I see it as an opportunity to do another round and keep it away from the thieves.

Live and learn, I guess...

BTW, I do hate a thief!:evil:

Big George's BBQ
03-02-2016, 09:26 AM
That is not right A person knows what they put a fridge So one should only take out what is theirs unless they ask This stuff has happened to me at work too Some just dont care Smoke again and enjoy your time doing it Your wife got you some really nice gifts Enjoy

Thingfish
03-02-2016, 09:29 AM
That does suck Aceman. The cheese and the info you wanted to retain and learn from was a loss, but the loss of trust in your colleagues is probably worse.

NickTheGreat
03-02-2016, 09:38 AM
Awful. Just plain awful.

Inject some ex-lax into another block of cheese, and put back into the fridge next week . . .

SeanBBQ
03-02-2016, 09:44 AM
Not fair at all. Someone felt entitled to other people's stuff. Alot of that going on these days. Sounds like you learned alot from the experience and I cant wait to hear about your next round of choose smoking with actual, personal taste results given from you once you get to try it.

Bludawg
03-02-2016, 09:58 AM
You must have done a good job they ate it all. I would not share any smoked stuff with them ever again. However I would bake them a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and use chocolate EXLAX instead of bakers chocolate. You'd be surprised at how fast they learn to respect stuff in the fridge that aint theirs. I'm speaking from experience back in the late 70's I worked a temp job in a weld shop and we had a serial food thief. Don't get mad get ahead!:thumb:

4ever3
03-02-2016, 10:04 AM
As stated before, make a really nice "chocolate" cake or maybe some "chocolate" cookies they can refuse and enjoy the aftermath!

smoke ninja
03-02-2016, 10:06 AM
Yup work refrigerator thieves are the easiest to deal with

Aceman
03-02-2016, 10:06 AM
That does suck Aceman. The cheese and the info you wanted to retain and learn from was a loss, but the loss of trust in your colleagues is probably worse.

This is the part that sucks. That and the point that my wifey spent so much on me this Christmas and we didn't get to see the results.

4ever3
03-02-2016, 10:20 AM
This is the part that sucks. That and the point that my wifey spent so much on me this Christmas and we didn't get to see the results.

You can smoke more cheese, it's just cheese, but first, time for cake...

Fire Flinger
03-02-2016, 10:27 AM
You have a good wife that obviously loves you. You are a very lucky man. The world is full of jerks. Whoever stole your cheese probably thinks it is funny. Pity that poor jack***. He is probably a very miserable and lonely person because he has gone through life messing with people instead of making friends. Just remember, Karma can be a really mean beach and she has a really long memory. As far as the suggestions about chocolate bear traps, "paybacks are a beach and paybacks always come." Go for it!

gengle
03-02-2016, 10:46 AM
Man that's low!

http://i1287.photobucket.com/albums/a637/genglew/cake_zpsyeaosqjh.jpg

Yendor
03-02-2016, 11:18 AM
I sit about 8' from our groups refrigerator, I would never leave anything in that refrigerator, ever. All of my employees have more background checks that the entirety of congress, I don't trust them with my food. I bring a lunch bucket with an ice pack.

I never trust what type of experiments are growing in the thing either.

Roguejim
03-02-2016, 12:13 PM
It's not really about the cheese, is it? Trust and respect have been compromised here. The other strange thing, I can almost guarantee, is that if you ask around, no one saw a thing. It's amazing the group blindness that occurs in situations like this.

Dauvis
03-02-2016, 12:20 PM
Maybe you should consider a special batch of chili? :mad2:

Aceman
03-02-2016, 12:28 PM
It's not really about the cheese, is it? Trust and respect have been compromised here. The other strange thing, I can almost guarantee, is that if you ask around, no one saw a thing...

Nope, it's not about the cheese. It's about the trust of 80 people because of one person.

After I noticed it missing I was ready to ask who took it. But I knew that wouldn't get me an answer. I checked the table to see if there was any left, but there wasn't. I politely asked with enthusiasm "Did anyone have any of that smoked cheese today?". Donny said "yeah, I did. That stuff was good". Before he could finish I yelled out "WHO THE *&#@ BROUGHT IT OUT?" Donny immediately said Matt did. There were 2 Matt's working that day and all fingers point to the guy who scrounge off of everyone's leftovers. Go figure. But who's to say Donny isn't covering his own butt?

4ever3
03-02-2016, 12:58 PM
Face it Ace, as a rule people suck ( I know I know, there are exceptions bla bla bla), have you been to the store to get your cake mix yet?

jbounds286
03-02-2016, 01:18 PM
ur surprised someone stole your stuff? ha! i've learned that almost everyone will steal from u

ITBFQ
03-02-2016, 01:43 PM
Nope, it's not about the cheese. It's about the trust of 80 people because of one person.

After I noticed it missing I was ready to ask who took it. But I knew that wouldn't get me an answer. I checked the table to see if there was any left, but there wasn't. I politely asked with enthusiasm "Did anyone have any of that smoked cheese today?". Donny said "yeah, I did. That stuff was good". Before he could finish I yelled out "WHO THE *&#@ BROUGHT IT OUT?" Donny immediately said Matt did. There were 2 Matt's working that day and all fingers point to the guy who scrounge off of everyone's leftovers. Go figure. But who's to say Donny isn't covering his own butt?

That sucks about your cheese. I wouldn't trust anyone named Matt.

cowgirl
03-02-2016, 01:50 PM
^^^ lol

Stealing is low, no matter what they take. I don't usually jump on the revenge wagon but that cake idea sounds pretty good. :laugh:

TcircleT
03-02-2016, 01:58 PM
Very unfortunate and frustrating. The question is, how did the other 2 (of 3) pieces turn out? The cliffhanger is a killer.

D0ughB0y
03-02-2016, 02:03 PM
I feel your pain. People can be garbage. I made some really awesome ragout pappardell all from scratch and brought in a couple portions to share with a few friends. When we went out to get the stuff and make lunch, it was gone. 3 large portions of pasta with ragout, the parmigiano reggiano, and the nice container I had it in.

The next day I brought a second portion that was LOADED with cayenne pepper. It also disappeared. I never did find out who ate it, but I have the satisfaction of knowing that they were ON FIRE that second day.

Roguejim
03-02-2016, 02:22 PM
Nope, it's not about the cheese. It's about the trust of 80 people because of one person.

After I noticed it missing I was ready to ask who took it. But I knew that wouldn't get me an answer. I checked the table to see if there was any left, but there wasn't. I politely asked with enthusiasm "Did anyone have any of that smoked cheese today?". Donny said "yeah, I did. That stuff was good". Before he could finish I yelled out "WHO THE *&#@ BROUGHT IT OUT?" Donny immediately said Matt did. There were 2 Matt's working that day and all fingers point to the guy who scrounge off of everyone's leftovers. Go figure. But who's to say Donny isn't covering his own butt?

You played that right. There's always the one leech...

daninnewjersey
03-02-2016, 02:39 PM
That's a dick move for sure. I'd leave a note in the fridge for everyone to see.....don't take other peoples' sh*t.....or something like that.

Aceman
03-02-2016, 02:52 PM
Very unfortunate and frustrating. The question is, how did the other 2 (of 3) pieces turn out? The cliffhanger is a killer.


The first one was good, but has a strong hickory flavor. The sharp cheddar flavor though works well with this by having 2 strong flavors. There's no ashtray taste which is good, though it had that smell when it came out of the smoker. After vacuum sealing it the smell is gone and the hickory flavor is there. The third one I want to wait till the 3 month mark to try.

Bbq_lover
03-02-2016, 03:26 PM
I would bake Donny, and the 2 matts special cookies and cover your bases. Just leave it on their desks before they get there. You might take out a couple of extra people, but they were part of the crime either way.

dummy que
03-02-2016, 03:46 PM
croten oil tasteless odorless colorless revenge is a dish best severed cold :thumb::thumb:

Roguejim
03-02-2016, 04:32 PM
croten oil tasteless odorless colorless revenge is a dish best severed cold :thumb::thumb:

Had to look that up. Yikes!

Bob C Cue
03-02-2016, 04:40 PM
Here are my very own thoughts on the subject:
ur surprised someone stole your stuff? ha! i've learned that almost everyone will steal from u

IamMadMan
03-02-2016, 05:07 PM
I feel for you Brother, people have no idea how much time and effort you put into it just to take it because they feel entitled to it. Sadly our society has created a new class of people who have an unrealistic sense of entitlement. They feel they are entitled to what other people own even though it is not theirs. Call them thieves, crooks, whatever fits, but the sad thing is that they feel they have done nothing wrong.

I had someone stealing from my lunch box at work, almost every day. They took mainly deserts and snacks.

After awhile I got tired of it, and brought a dummy lunch bag with Oreo's that had the center of the filling hollowed out and filled it with finely ground fresh black pepper (finer the grind, the hotter it is) and mixed that with cayenne pepper. I filled the center of the cookies with the concoction and assembled them. They looked like regular Oreo's, but we heard him scream when he bit into them.

With the dummy lunch bag, they couldn't blame it on any of us because we had our own lunch, LOL.....

Yendor
03-02-2016, 06:02 PM
Since I posted on here earlier about this an email came screaming into our building, someone stole someone's lunch out of the main fridge in the commons area. I forwarded that to a coworker with a bit of an inside joke, "Mmmmmmm hot pocket." (Homestar Runner for those that need to know) He quickly came over and said, the bad part is it was my lunch that was stolen. People suck! Then again, I don't trust anyone to leave my lunch alone ever.

Randy3269
03-02-2016, 06:42 PM
Awful. Just plain awful.

Inject some ex-lax into another block of cheese, and put back into the fridge next week . . .

I like this plan

smoke ninja
03-02-2016, 07:40 PM
Did the guys who ate your cheese enjoy it?

Thats the point of it all. We make food to be enjoyed not just sustain.

Its just a freaking piece of cheese.

Bludawg
03-02-2016, 08:21 PM
The winter of '76 I got a job on a ranch north of Sheridan Wy ( the Diamond R) nursin cows through the winter. We only got to town on Saturdays for a few hrs. I bought some apples to snack on and as as treats for Stumpy my favorite horse in my string. On about Wednesday 1 had one left I was gonna share with Stumpy, well some one ate that apple. I was pretty upset I would have gave to the culprit had he asked. It didn't take long to figure out who the sneak was as I had my suspicions confirmed it was our foreman. I saw him commin out of our quarters munchin on someones Little Debbies. and I hatched my plan:twisted: Saturday rolled around and I got some more apples in town, 1 special big Red Delicious. While I was givin Stumpy his portion I scooped up some fresh steamy stuff out of his stall and created a stuffed apple treat for the thief. All these years later I can still hear him cusin & gagin all us hands rollin in the snow & the muck laughin it was a sight to behold fer sure. He never took our stuff again.

Aceman
03-02-2016, 09:40 PM
Its just a freaking piece of cheese.

If someone stole your smoker, would your attitude be different? Or is it "just a freaking smoker"? After all, it's not like it was your wife/gf/kids, right? It's the point that my wife, myself and the people it was intended for didn't get to enjoy it. Get it?

As far as the "what did you expect" lines- I expect better than this. I've patrolled for 13 years and this is a first. Nobody steals skis from each other on the patrol. In general, food left on the table after the lunch crowd leaves is fair game. Same thing as drinks. If they're open and on the table, we share. But if there's an unopened bottle of soda or juice and it's not yours, you don't open it. There's 15 hangers outside that we hang our lunches on and nobody ever touches them. EVER. But this time someone crossed the line. One @$$h [le ruined it for us all.

Bludawg
03-02-2016, 09:52 PM
Life aint fair my friend. Yeah it sucks when it happens to you and you have the right to be Po'd we get your frustration. Chock it up to a learin experience in human integrity get ahead if your that type or let it be. Go smoke some cheese ( not the Lebanese variety) have a drink and wash it away.

4ever3
03-02-2016, 10:07 PM
Had to look that up. Yikes!

So did I.. Oh my :mrgreen:

OS
03-03-2016, 12:43 AM
I once had this issue with the fridge that was 20' feet away from my desk.
I got tired of not being able to eat my food and spending my money on some take out.
I laced some nice leftovers with a chit ton of super hot sauce.

They cried and whined. I giggled quietly. Then went for a walk around the building laughing like a mad man.

It never happened again.

mikemci
03-03-2016, 05:54 AM
Fake mold lunch bags.

http://i1351.photobucket.com/albums/p799/mikemci/Mobile%20Uploads/41zHUtcfsQL._SY400__zpszz6slzvm.jpg (http://s1351.photobucket.com/user/mikemci/media/Mobile%20Uploads/41zHUtcfsQL._SY400__zpszz6slzvm.jpg.html)

Mrfish
03-03-2016, 09:03 AM
LIGHTEN UP FRANCIS SGT. HULKA STRIPES - YouTube