queball
07-04-2006, 10:51 PM
I ride a harely and have been told there are two kind of riders; those that have been down and those who are going down. Fortuantely I am in the second group. If this logic applies with bbq then I went down today and in front of my own people. I am gonna blame it on a hottly contested bocci tournment (my grandmother's name is Geneviva Marrioni and we take our Bocci seriously) and a 75 year old bottle of Maria Galante Rhum that my neighbor just brought me from an island in the French West Indies bearing the same name. I am sure that by now you have figured that I forgot about cooking and your right. The ribs were so overdone that I had to resort to the use of multiple spatulas to scrape them off the grill. What I served resemble blackened pulled pork. The thighs turned into bark not some bark all bark like little fricken chicken charcoal brickettes. It was at that point that I stoked the fire and threw about 10 lbs of fresh sausage directly over the hotspot. While waiting, serveral of us decided to jump from the roof onto the trampoline and finish by landing in the pool. Great fun that ended when I noticed that my entire man porch was engulfed in smoke. I aint talking about a little wiff of smoke im talking about the thick stuff like you see on freakin Scooby Doo. Apparantly, the sausage was dripping fat which was smoldering and smoking. What happened next was like a scene from backdraft; when I opened that pit, Mr. Oxygen said hello to the smoldering grease and together they let loose a fireball that took the hair off both of my arms and one of my neighbor's eyebrows. At this point I realized we had us a serious problem a grease fire under my porch. In my haste to save the only edible meat that we had left, I tried to remove the grill and dropped all 10 lbs to the bottom of the pit. I felt like a man standing next to a grenade with the pin pulled. All I could do was close her down and watch that aweful black smoke. I still havent found the sausage and the neighbors are still laughing. Note that all of these events are true and that most, including the bocci tournament were accomplished in driving rain. Happy farkin fourth.