Norcoredneck
somebody shut me the fark up.
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2006
- Location
- Norco, Ca.
Slap me and move this if you must but had to share. Cracked me up.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
> You Pig! - $75 (Lake Elsinore)
Reply to: sale-692548567@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-23, 9:16PM PDT
Ok, Ok...I'm NOT calling you a pig. But please take three minutes to read our ad.
My wife is spoiled, really, really spoiled! I know...it's my fault! I ALMOST worship the ground she walks on, but that's another story. For now, this advertisement is about FOOD.
But, she WAS nearly a Vegan! "Nearly vegetarian," because she ate only an occasional piece of lamb and chicken, and then, with absolutely NO trace of fat or skin. Everything else had to be fruit or vegetable...ANY vegetable, except avocado (I guess the oily texture reminds her of meat).
I tried to enjoy grilled steak in the evenings, but watching her reaction as I scorched the outside, then ate a one pound Porterhouse with the juices flowing from a dark red center triggered an uncomfortable reaction, generally spoiling my dinner pleasure. I just couldn't fully enjoy the experience. She wouldn't even eat the chicken or lamb grilled on the same side of my pride and joy...a "BBQ Galore" three-burner Gas Grill. That was then.
Five years ago, we moved from the city and became reformed city-slickers. In our new "country-fied" rural experience, we agreed to raise "FOOD ANIMALS," to experience the true agrarian lifestyle. Soon, I butchered our first home-grown pig. Watching her turned up nose, and facial scowl as I grilled the first package of pork chops, I wondered how she would react IF I could get her to taste even the smallest bite.
For starters, I let the fresh lamb chops and skinless chicken breasts snuggle closer to the "pork and beef side" of the grill, where MY freshly "home-grown" pork chops sizzled to a fully-cooked, but tender, and moist state of completion. Finally, everything was cooked; the lamb and chicken on their own platter, MY pork chops resting on a smaller plate.
Like myself, mom (who lives with us) and the "step-brat" eat almost anything, so there would be no waste. We dig pork! As we gathered around the dinner table, and rotated the various plates, my wife turned her head away when she passed me the plate of succulent pork chops. After thanking the Lord for the bounty, I trimmed off a small, juicy bite of freshly butchered, well-cooked pork chop, and passed the fork to my wife. A taxing period of coaxing finally got through her rejection, and she cautiously slid the tiny piece of our home-grown pork chop into her mouth.
As she began to chew, we witnessed the reality of an internal civil war, demonstrated by facial expressions; some parts fighting to maintain the near-Vegan palate, battling other factions willing to progress into a new "free-taste" era. Her eyes swelled, like a stomped on toad frog. Pupils dilated like she was having a bad crack episode, or watching too much Law and Order. Her face turned beet red. There’s no proof, but we think smoke actually erupted from both ears. Then, suddenly, as quickly as it had been fought, the war ended. Her beautifully natural, near-olive skin color returned, eyes regained their focus, and the corners of her lips began to indicate a new appreciation for something she'd never experienced.
After what seemed to be hours, she finished chewing, swallowed, and said, "My goodness, that was delicious!" My wife became a changed woman! Now, she cares for our stock of pigs, knowing fully that "the other white meat," if home-grown, can be equally or more tasty than the best lamb or chicken. She has arrived! She’s a believer now. Pork has become a rotated meal entree on our family's dinner table, just like lamb, chicken, fish (which she's had a more difficult time learning to eat), and beef (ditto on the previous avoidance issue).
Bottom line...we're a developing SUSTAINABLE FARM. In the "green movement" the gist of SUSTAINABILITY indicates that a farm raises enough to feed and maintain itself, and enough to sell the public to help pay the farm’s bills. So we have pigs. Sometimes a few, at other times a lot, but enough for our needs, and some to sell. The availability depends on how the sows are feeling. Right now is a great time for you to purchase a pig from us, since we have lots of great tasting food quality pigs for available, in various sizes. Pricing and descriptions follow.
WEENERS -- $75.00: Weighing about 15 - 30 lbs., are weaned from the sow, and ready for you to raise for the freezer. Pick one up now, and in 3-4 months, you'll have a delicious home-grown pig to take to the packing plant. In fact, a mobile butcher can come to your place and do the job right there for you.
ROASTERS -- $100.00 to $125.00: Weigh from 80 to 100 lbs., just the right taste for a whole pig roast, BBQ, in ground or out.
READY FOR THE FREEZER -- Various pricing, from $1.75 to $2.50 per pound, based on our market.
With prices rising for EVERYTHING, you just need to go to the grocery store and experience fewer bags of groceries for the same price paid this time last year. Why not trim some of those expenses by raising your own freezer pig? You'll be glad you did.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE SPACE TO RAISE YOUR OWN, OR JUST DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH IT, ask us about our “Raise-For-You” plan. It’s a bit more pricey, but you’re paying us to provide the board and care until your freezer pig has reached your weight goals, generally between 260 and 320 lbs. "on the hoof."
With summer approaching, now is the time to plan that family gathering, a block party, group BBQ or just a good old fashioned pig roast.
Ummmm…..Pork…the other white meat! Reserve yours today!
Thanks for shopping with us.
Da-Le Ranch
http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/grd/692548567.html
http://www.craigslist.org/about/scams.html
> You Pig! - $75 (Lake Elsinore)
Reply to: sale-692548567@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-23, 9:16PM PDT
Ok, Ok...I'm NOT calling you a pig. But please take three minutes to read our ad.
My wife is spoiled, really, really spoiled! I know...it's my fault! I ALMOST worship the ground she walks on, but that's another story. For now, this advertisement is about FOOD.
But, she WAS nearly a Vegan! "Nearly vegetarian," because she ate only an occasional piece of lamb and chicken, and then, with absolutely NO trace of fat or skin. Everything else had to be fruit or vegetable...ANY vegetable, except avocado (I guess the oily texture reminds her of meat).
I tried to enjoy grilled steak in the evenings, but watching her reaction as I scorched the outside, then ate a one pound Porterhouse with the juices flowing from a dark red center triggered an uncomfortable reaction, generally spoiling my dinner pleasure. I just couldn't fully enjoy the experience. She wouldn't even eat the chicken or lamb grilled on the same side of my pride and joy...a "BBQ Galore" three-burner Gas Grill. That was then.
Five years ago, we moved from the city and became reformed city-slickers. In our new "country-fied" rural experience, we agreed to raise "FOOD ANIMALS," to experience the true agrarian lifestyle. Soon, I butchered our first home-grown pig. Watching her turned up nose, and facial scowl as I grilled the first package of pork chops, I wondered how she would react IF I could get her to taste even the smallest bite.
For starters, I let the fresh lamb chops and skinless chicken breasts snuggle closer to the "pork and beef side" of the grill, where MY freshly "home-grown" pork chops sizzled to a fully-cooked, but tender, and moist state of completion. Finally, everything was cooked; the lamb and chicken on their own platter, MY pork chops resting on a smaller plate.
Like myself, mom (who lives with us) and the "step-brat" eat almost anything, so there would be no waste. We dig pork! As we gathered around the dinner table, and rotated the various plates, my wife turned her head away when she passed me the plate of succulent pork chops. After thanking the Lord for the bounty, I trimmed off a small, juicy bite of freshly butchered, well-cooked pork chop, and passed the fork to my wife. A taxing period of coaxing finally got through her rejection, and she cautiously slid the tiny piece of our home-grown pork chop into her mouth.
As she began to chew, we witnessed the reality of an internal civil war, demonstrated by facial expressions; some parts fighting to maintain the near-Vegan palate, battling other factions willing to progress into a new "free-taste" era. Her eyes swelled, like a stomped on toad frog. Pupils dilated like she was having a bad crack episode, or watching too much Law and Order. Her face turned beet red. There’s no proof, but we think smoke actually erupted from both ears. Then, suddenly, as quickly as it had been fought, the war ended. Her beautifully natural, near-olive skin color returned, eyes regained their focus, and the corners of her lips began to indicate a new appreciation for something she'd never experienced.
After what seemed to be hours, she finished chewing, swallowed, and said, "My goodness, that was delicious!" My wife became a changed woman! Now, she cares for our stock of pigs, knowing fully that "the other white meat," if home-grown, can be equally or more tasty than the best lamb or chicken. She has arrived! She’s a believer now. Pork has become a rotated meal entree on our family's dinner table, just like lamb, chicken, fish (which she's had a more difficult time learning to eat), and beef (ditto on the previous avoidance issue).
Bottom line...we're a developing SUSTAINABLE FARM. In the "green movement" the gist of SUSTAINABILITY indicates that a farm raises enough to feed and maintain itself, and enough to sell the public to help pay the farm’s bills. So we have pigs. Sometimes a few, at other times a lot, but enough for our needs, and some to sell. The availability depends on how the sows are feeling. Right now is a great time for you to purchase a pig from us, since we have lots of great tasting food quality pigs for available, in various sizes. Pricing and descriptions follow.
WEENERS -- $75.00: Weighing about 15 - 30 lbs., are weaned from the sow, and ready for you to raise for the freezer. Pick one up now, and in 3-4 months, you'll have a delicious home-grown pig to take to the packing plant. In fact, a mobile butcher can come to your place and do the job right there for you.
ROASTERS -- $100.00 to $125.00: Weigh from 80 to 100 lbs., just the right taste for a whole pig roast, BBQ, in ground or out.
READY FOR THE FREEZER -- Various pricing, from $1.75 to $2.50 per pound, based on our market.
With prices rising for EVERYTHING, you just need to go to the grocery store and experience fewer bags of groceries for the same price paid this time last year. Why not trim some of those expenses by raising your own freezer pig? You'll be glad you did.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE SPACE TO RAISE YOUR OWN, OR JUST DON'T WANT TO MESS WITH IT, ask us about our “Raise-For-You” plan. It’s a bit more pricey, but you’re paying us to provide the board and care until your freezer pig has reached your weight goals, generally between 260 and 320 lbs. "on the hoof."
With summer approaching, now is the time to plan that family gathering, a block party, group BBQ or just a good old fashioned pig roast.
Ummmm…..Pork…the other white meat! Reserve yours today!
Thanks for shopping with us.
Da-Le Ranch
http://inlandempire.craigslist.org/grd/692548567.html
