brewerjamie15
Full Fledged Farker
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2010
- Location
- Milwauke...
Dear Meat-
You are Venison. I have never eaten you to any extent. Sure, a small piece of sausage once in a blue moon, and there was that time I had two bites of a piece of steak. Other than that, nothing.
I don't hunt you.
I don't have any of you in my freezer.
My work buddies however, have recently blown you away with an arrow and have asked me to try smoking you. A small portion of you anyway, so don't blame me. You're already a gonner. I'm just going to try doing justice to you. I promise to treat you kindly, nurture you, speak kindly of you.
I need your help though. You see, I'm a member of this nifty group. They are a brethren actually. Sometimes obsessed with the idea of the BBQ. I need you to ponder a few thoughts for me. Guide me with your deer-ness. I only hope the spirit of Fred Bear is near. Or, perhaps far away, depending on what you wish Mr. or Mrs. Deer.
I am aware you are quite lean. I must not dry you out like the former Mrs. Betty Ford. No, I must moisten you like Ford in her days of liquid lunches.
To do this I plan to marinate you for an overnight float in a nice dish. I'll check with my buddies as to their fave, you remember those guys, right? The ones with the bows?
I plan to smoke you over a cool blue hue of beauty, perhaps in the 225-240 degree range? Yes? Is that good? the reason I ask is because I have seen conflicting information. I come to you directly for knowledge O one of the large antlers.
In order to moisten your delicate, yet lovely features I feel that bacon will be the answer, yet I feel there could be more. How about, in addition to the bacon, I inject you with some of the marinade my friends pick out? On top of that, I'd like to have a bit of additional liquid love in a drip pan. Yes my 4 legged (well, not any more. I don't even know where your legs are) friend, I'm talking beer.
A small dose of marinade injected into you, a blanket made of bacon (and who in their right mind would not like that) and a drip pan of golden ale. Is that a good idea, not too much is it? I worry ya know. Don't want you to dry up on me. I'd feel bad.
How's about your internal temperature? I must apologize quickly here. I forgot to mention which piece of you I'll be watching over. I'm sure it's not your legs, as we have no idea where they could be right now. I believe something was mentioned about roasts. Not sure what kind of a roast though. Would an internal temperature of 140 degrees be the finished point? I'd then plan to jam you into some foil which would come at the 120 mark? How about that, foil you at 120, pull you outta the smoker at approx 140-145 internal temp? Would that be medium?
What would I do to store you until you got picked up which would likely be the day after I smoke you?
Don't worry deer. I realize that being dead makes it hard to concentrate, so maybe let my friends answer for you below. You can just signal them- wait. my bad. I forgot- the leg thing. OK maybe just "think" it to them and they will type what you say, K?
Thank You
Brewerjamie the guy trying to help out some buddies, and hopefully finally get his first good sized piece of venison. I plan to eat the snot outta some of this stuff. OH! I forgot to mention the fact that I get a case of beer for doing this. I'll pour a sip for ya on the driveway in memory of you.
You are Venison. I have never eaten you to any extent. Sure, a small piece of sausage once in a blue moon, and there was that time I had two bites of a piece of steak. Other than that, nothing.
I don't hunt you.
I don't have any of you in my freezer.
My work buddies however, have recently blown you away with an arrow and have asked me to try smoking you. A small portion of you anyway, so don't blame me. You're already a gonner. I'm just going to try doing justice to you. I promise to treat you kindly, nurture you, speak kindly of you.
I need your help though. You see, I'm a member of this nifty group. They are a brethren actually. Sometimes obsessed with the idea of the BBQ. I need you to ponder a few thoughts for me. Guide me with your deer-ness. I only hope the spirit of Fred Bear is near. Or, perhaps far away, depending on what you wish Mr. or Mrs. Deer.
I am aware you are quite lean. I must not dry you out like the former Mrs. Betty Ford. No, I must moisten you like Ford in her days of liquid lunches.
To do this I plan to marinate you for an overnight float in a nice dish. I'll check with my buddies as to their fave, you remember those guys, right? The ones with the bows?
I plan to smoke you over a cool blue hue of beauty, perhaps in the 225-240 degree range? Yes? Is that good? the reason I ask is because I have seen conflicting information. I come to you directly for knowledge O one of the large antlers.
In order to moisten your delicate, yet lovely features I feel that bacon will be the answer, yet I feel there could be more. How about, in addition to the bacon, I inject you with some of the marinade my friends pick out? On top of that, I'd like to have a bit of additional liquid love in a drip pan. Yes my 4 legged (well, not any more. I don't even know where your legs are) friend, I'm talking beer.
A small dose of marinade injected into you, a blanket made of bacon (and who in their right mind would not like that) and a drip pan of golden ale. Is that a good idea, not too much is it? I worry ya know. Don't want you to dry up on me. I'd feel bad.
How's about your internal temperature? I must apologize quickly here. I forgot to mention which piece of you I'll be watching over. I'm sure it's not your legs, as we have no idea where they could be right now. I believe something was mentioned about roasts. Not sure what kind of a roast though. Would an internal temperature of 140 degrees be the finished point? I'd then plan to jam you into some foil which would come at the 120 mark? How about that, foil you at 120, pull you outta the smoker at approx 140-145 internal temp? Would that be medium?
What would I do to store you until you got picked up which would likely be the day after I smoke you?
Don't worry deer. I realize that being dead makes it hard to concentrate, so maybe let my friends answer for you below. You can just signal them- wait. my bad. I forgot- the leg thing. OK maybe just "think" it to them and they will type what you say, K?
Thank You
Brewerjamie the guy trying to help out some buddies, and hopefully finally get his first good sized piece of venison. I plan to eat the snot outta some of this stuff. OH! I forgot to mention the fact that I get a case of beer for doing this. I'll pour a sip for ya on the driveway in memory of you.