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Old 10-16-2010, 09:44 PM   #1

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Default Cooking with the Master: Filet Mignon, Episode VIII

What follows is the transcript of “Cooking with the Master: Filet Mignon, Episode VIII"

Master: Ladies, Gentlemen, Gooood Eeeeevening! And welcome to "Cooking with the Master," a show about cooking. I ... am the Master! Joined by sous chef Ninja Squirrel, I will demonstrate revolutionary advances in BBQ Science. The topic of this week’s show is the creme de la creme, Filet Mignon. The perfect piece of meat, when it is cooked correctly. But cook it too long and it tastes like old shoes. I am here to demonstrate a new method, perfected in my laboratory, to revitalize this dish with flavor and cunning.

It is important to remember that the filet is a very lean piece of meat, and as a lean piece of meat it can be dry and flavorless if overcooked. Surprisingly, the first step is to trim the filet of any additional surface fat. Please watch as Ninja Squirrel demonstrates:

[Audience applauds Ninja Squirrel]

While Gore prepares the smoker, Ninja will place these filets in the freezer for approximately 45 minutes to chill them. The filet is one of the most unforgiving pieces of meat to cook. It can be ruined so easily. Most chefs introduce bacon to add flavor and moisture, but I have introduced into the equation the parameter of sausage.

[Sounds of shocked surprise from the audience]

I (Gore): Brilliant, Master!

Master: Yes! Now Ninja Squirrel will demonstrate the rolling of the sausage that will sheath the filet.

[Audience ooos and aaahs]

We only want a narrow sheath, just enough to add flavor, but not enough to dominate. It is also important that the sausage be cooked fully, but the filet to remain cool inside. To do this we perform a reverse sear. Ninja Squirrel has prepared the first filet and even added bacon. This will go on the smoker and cooked low and slow until it has reached 125*.

Then it will have a short rest while we raise the temperature to 600*. We can sear directly on the grill, or we can lay aluminum foil down to give the sausage a cleaner look. I have done the latter. After this sear, I present to you the Fatet Mignon:

[Audience applauds wildly]

I (Gore): "Fatet" Master? Don't you realize that the Society for the Preservation Of Fatty Purity only approves of pure, unstuffed and unrobed fatties?

I am not afraid Gore: I know for a fact that their leader has recently prepared a fatty containing blueberry pancakes! I think we have nothing to fear from this society.

I (Gore): Master, I am afraid that this leader has been denounced and rejected. A new, more fanatical leader has staged a coup and is planning to take over the world wielding his naked fatty as his scepter! ... Master, I hear helicopters!

Smokey Al Gold: Sorry Master, but the jig is up. My minions and I are here to shut you down. You know the penalty for making such contraband fatties!

Fatties? Did I hear you say fatties? My dear Al, look at that plate. It is beef wrapped in pork. There's not a member on this website who would not recognize that immediately.

I (Gore): A MignOINK ball, Master?

Yes, Gore.

Smokey Al Gold: Well, ... in that case, I am sorry to have disturbed your experimentation. Please forgive me Master. Adieu!

[Smokey Al Gold departs in a puff of blue smoke and the audience breaths a sigh of relief]

I (Gore): Master, that is a very oddly shaped MignOINK on that back plate.

Yes, Gore, that is something else I have been working on. Try a bite.

[While the audience applauds, the credits roll]

Narrator: This episode of “Cooking with the Master” was brought to you by the BBQ Brethren Throwdown sub-forum found at the top of Q-talk or at
Please join us every week to enter and/or vote for your favorite entry. There are lots of great dishes described in the entry threads. The recipes and views expressed on “Cooking with the Master” do not necessarily represent those of the BBQ Brethren, Gore, Q-Talk, or Ninja Squirrel.

I (Gore): That’s a wrap!
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Last edited by Gore; 10-16-2010 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 10-16-2010, 09:50 PM   #2
somebody shut me the fark up.
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Brilliant! Brilliant I say!! A culinary masterpiece!!!
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Old 10-16-2010, 10:07 PM   #3
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Ya gonna release that on DVD any time soon?
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Old 10-16-2010, 10:08 PM   #4
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Nice one, Gore!
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Old 10-16-2010, 10:54 PM   #5
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somebody shut me the fark up.
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Your a hoot! Encore, Encore....

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Old 10-17-2010, 01:19 AM   #6
somebody shut me the fark up.

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I was wondering when you and Master were going to re-emerge. Needless to say, bravo!

But what's up with the squirrel?
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Old 10-17-2010, 06:50 AM   #7
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Thanks for the story and pics Gore!
Keep them episodes coming!
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Old 10-17-2010, 08:40 AM   #8
somebody shut me the fark up.

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Too funny!
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Old 10-17-2010, 10:52 AM   #9
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You out done yourself, Bro!
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Old 10-17-2010, 11:11 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by bigabyte View Post
Brilliant! Brilliant I say!! A culinary masterpiece!!!
Love the clip, where or how can I get a copy?
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Old 10-17-2010, 11:14 AM   #11
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ahhh...good food plus entertainment...what could be better
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Old 10-17-2010, 01:53 PM   #12
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That's Funny, I don't care what you say!!
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Old 10-17-2010, 03:06 PM   #13
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Oh man, that's like a Fatty Wellington!

Nice work fellas!
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Old 10-17-2010, 03:44 PM   #14
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I love the fatty with the corn inside!
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Old 10-17-2010, 04:44 PM   #15
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