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Old 06-02-2010, 10:17 PM   #1
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Default Cooking with the Master: Salad, Episode V

What follows is the transcript of “Cooking with the Master: Salad, Episode V"

Master: Ladies, Gentlemen, Gooood Eeeeevening! And welcome to "Cooking with the Master," a show about cooking. I ... am the Master! Joined by sous chef Gore, I will demonstrate revolutionary advances in BBQ Science. The topic of this week’s show is salad, the perfect summertime fare. When the mercury creeps upward, we want something cool and refreshing to keep our temperature down. It is also a vital element in the diet of vegetarians. Many vegetarians have difficulty getting a balanced diet with sufficient protein. As a vegetarian myself and an expert in the nutritional sciences, I will demonstrate how to prepare a balanced meal from a single salad that not only is nutritious, but also is delicious. A great many vegetarians depend on beans to provide protein. Others rely on “fruits de mer,” literally the “fruit of the sea.” Fish, of course, is the most succulent fruit of the ocean. I, however, prefer neither of these items on salad and begin … with bacon.

[Sounds of shocked surprise from the audience]

I (Gore): Bacon, Master?

Master: Correct Gore, but I prefer to call it “fruits de sty,” being the most succulent fruit found in the sty.

I (Gore): Brilliant, Master [clapping and general acknowledgment from audience]

Master: Now Gore, please demonstrate the bacon weave for the audience.




We place this over a metal bowl and cook this either on the grill or in the smoker to set the bacon. This will make a delicious and edible bowl in which to place our salad.



For this salad, I use grilled Romaine lettuce. This is brushed with extra virgin olive oil and seared on the grill, less than a minute per side. I add cucumbers, tomatoes and some roast red pepper.




Finally, I season the flank steak with Montreal spices and cook to medium rare, hot and fast.




I (Gore): Vegetarian flank steak, Master?

Master: While I am a vegetarian, Gore, I refuse to put senseless restrictions on my diet. I prefer to call it “fruits de range.” Finally we top this off with syrup of Balsamic vinegar.

I (Gore): Delicious, Master!

[Audience cheers wildly]



While the audience applauds, a mob of vegetarians rush the stage fighting each other for a taste of fruits de sty and fruits de range. Credits roll by as satisfied grunts and groans can be heard from the vegetarians on stage.

Narrator: This episode of “Cooking with the Master” was brought to you by the BBQ Brethren Throwdown sub-forum found at the top of Q-talk or at
http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=86
Please join us every week to enter and/or vote for your favorite entry. There are lots of great dishes described in the entry threads. The recipes and views expressed on “Cooking with the Master” do not necessarily represent those of the BBQ Brethren, Gore, Q-Talk, Scrog or Ninja Squirrel.

I (Gore): That’s a wrap!
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:19 PM   #2
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Now thats a Salad dagummitt! Looks awesome!
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:21 PM   #3
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I have been so foolish, when I was a vegetarian, I failed to see that I was putting arbitrary and senseless restrictions on my diet, I see the light now, and will start with that salad, oh lovely fruits de sty and fruits de range salad.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:22 PM   #4
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Great work! I want to see this at a restaurant chain immediately.
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Old 06-03-2010, 03:46 AM   #5
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Beautiful weave Salad. Add a monster bun and that would be one great BLT.

Last edited by SmokeJumper; 06-03-2010 at 04:25 AM..
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Old 06-03-2010, 03:56 AM   #6
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Thanks again for the terriffic show G.!
The syrup of Balsamic vinegar looks terrific...gotta try me that sometime!
Is it just balsamico with something sweet like sugar in it?
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Old 06-03-2010, 06:38 AM   #7
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Hail to the Master....
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Old 06-03-2010, 07:10 AM   #8
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Bacon! Now that's a salad!
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Old 06-03-2010, 07:17 AM   #9
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I think Gore is a genius.
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Old 06-03-2010, 08:14 AM   #10
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I love it, and it's vegetarian even so it's healthy!
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Old 06-03-2010, 08:24 AM   #11
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Wow Gore, thats "Just Plain Yummy"!
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Old 06-03-2010, 08:43 AM   #12
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The producers were right, the commentary was much better when the Squirrel was in charge. We want Ninja Squirrel! But...no fruits de coup?
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Old 06-03-2010, 08:50 AM   #13
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Is Lamb vegetarian?
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Old 06-03-2010, 08:51 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigabyte View Post
Is Lamb vegetarian?
Fruits de meadow.
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Old 06-03-2010, 09:26 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rowdycue View Post
I think Gore is a genius.
It's such a fine line between genius and total whack job...

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigabyte View Post
Is Lamb vegetarian?
Umm, DUH. Have you ever seen a lamb eating a steak?? Grass, that's it!


Brilliant Gorden!! It looks like your fruits de sty bowl might need some reinforcement!! MORE BACON!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaK9bjLy3v4
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