Temp Probes and Brisket

[Mark]

I was probed by aliens. I didn't like it.

[Pitmaster T]

Originally Posted by barbefunkoramaque

I just recently visited a couple of BBQ joints in my home town and am furious that they are allowed to make brisket in TEXAS.

One is a cool looking shack and meat market and the other is what I would build if I wanted to make another BBQ resturant that was not Funk, Soul and R and B based. He uses two Mesquite, Texas Built Oylers. God those are the Chit. Another claims to smoke for 24 hours.

Anyway, I think that anyone that uses and Depends on Temp probes for doneness should be dipped in Liquid Nitrogen and shot out of a cannon against a wall or another idiot... say the ones that make brisket at or near 210 degrees. There... see I can be diplomatic and non-abrasive in my criticisms.

Probes in brisket are to be used only to judge how much longer you have or maybe where you are at. Somewhere near 170-170 I want all of you with those probes worth more than say.... $40 to get a pair of wire cutters and CUT OFF the farking electronics and shove them up your arse!

THEN use the Farkin probe to test for doneness. When it passes through BOTH the point and flat like butter... OR with more resistance for those slicing at the, idiotic thickness of number a 2 pencil to make those pretty little fans of brisket, then its DONE. NOT at 180, 190, not 205... when the probe goes through right. Oh and those that want to byatch about poking holes in the Q... Fark all of you too!

Now also remember that in this forum, there is no right or wrong way to make BBQ and we all are to be nice and diplomatic in our discussions about technique.

One step at a time man... first I will correct all the BBQ mistakes made in Texas since I left, then I will conquer the Rhineland, Czechs, then Obliterate the Kansians, then Poland, then Russian and finally the WORLD!

For those of you thinking of probes for brisket... a bent Gutter nail is perfect.

What does he expect us to do... use an icepick? When was this written?