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Q-talk *ON TOPIC ONLY* QUALITY ON TOPIC discussion of Backyard BBQ, grilling, Equipment and just outdoor cookin' in general, hints, tips, tricks & techniques, success, failures... but stay on topic. And watch for that hijacking.


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Unread 05-14-2010, 04:29 PM   #1
Moose
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Angry Intervention at the grill: My attempt at saving meat from being blackened to a smoldering ember...

So I'm at a party about a month ago, and this is what happens: (And for the record, the BBQ Chef is an acquaintance who I have been on friendly terms with for a few years. The intervention you are about to read would never have happened with a stranger that I didn't know.)

I walk towards a large Weber kettle, and the BBQ chef opens the lid and there are 2 large tri-tips on the grill. I asked the BBQ chef what the temp was as he pulled the thermo out of one.

He says: "165. I'll probably pull it when it reaches 190, since I want it medium rare. You like your meat medium rare, right?"

Me: "Are you kidding? Take those off NOW! They're already overdone!"

Him: "Really? Are you sure? I'm just concerned the meat won't won't be cooked enough and it will still be raw...this is how I always cook Tri-Tips and they always come out perfectly."

Me: "Dude, take those off NOW!"

Him: grumbling..."OK, I sure hope you know what you're talking about"

So he finally removed the tri tips, and pulls out a large container of chicken wings smothered in BBQ sauce. He dumps the wings on the grill, puts the cover on the kettle with vents wide open, then disappears for 10 minutes.

I decided to go over and see how the wings were doing, and sure enough, most of them were already completely blackened on one side. I shut the bottom vent on the kettle to barely open, then turned the wings over as best as I could. He then walks toward me and asks me what I'm doing.

Me: "I'm trying to save these wings from being completely incinerated."

Him: "Gosh, they're looking mighty fine to me. Mighty fine, yessiree!"

Me: "Really? You like wings cooked that way?",as I pointed to one of the little smoldering jet black wings.

Him: "Man, you are one picky guy. I like them with a little crisp, don't you?"

Me: "I'd prefer not to comment on that. Next time you do wings, you might consider saucing them at the end. They'll be less likely to burn."

Him: "Really? I never heard of that one before. They always come out just right, and I've been doing 'em this way for years now. Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?"

WHATEVER

So I put the lid back on the kettle and shut the top vent so it was nearly closed to get the fire cooled down a bit. He disappears AGAIN. I check on the wings, and they are done on the unburned side, so I just ask his wife to bring me a tray so we can unload the wings.

I stayed out of the kitchen while he cut the tri tip, but when it was placed on a large serving tray, the meat was beyond well done. Not a trace of pink. Just grayish-brown horribly overdone meat. At least it was cut against the grain...it's good to always look on the positive side, right?

For the most part, just about everyone(myself and the missus included) didn't touch the wings or Tri-Tip. We ate salad and potatoes silently, mourning the loss of two perfectly good pieces of Tri-tip and the chicken wings.


Some folks just shouldn't ever be allowed near a grill...
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Last edited by Moose; 05-14-2010 at 07:59 PM..
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Unread 05-14-2010, 04:34 PM   #2
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I'm glad I met you guys!!!
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Unread 05-14-2010, 04:35 PM   #3
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R.I.P. dinner.
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Unread 05-14-2010, 04:35 PM   #4
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Moose, you need to preform a Weber intervention. This man needs to know the responsibility that comes with owning such a fine cooking instrument! You can't possibly let him wonder around any longer in the dark...........
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Unread 05-14-2010, 04:40 PM   #5
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Touching another man's kettle without permission could get you in real trouble in some backyards. Did he rave about the tri-tip?
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Unread 05-14-2010, 04:43 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aquablue22 View Post
Moose, you need to preform a Weber intervention. This man needs to know the responsibility that comes with owning such a fine cooking instrument! You can't possibly let him wonder around any longer in the dark...........
I'm afraid he is a lost cause...
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Unread 05-14-2010, 04:44 PM   #7
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well at least you tried. Its been my experience to not tell the owner of the grill how to do things. They usually have it in their mind that they know what up, and they dont want you opinion. Ive been yelled at b4 trying to help out.
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Unread 05-14-2010, 04:49 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by landarc View Post
Touching another man's kettle without permission could get you in real trouble in some backyards. Did he rave about the tri-tip?
He did, actually, but said the wings were underdone...
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Unread 05-14-2010, 05:00 PM   #9
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Like watching a farkin train wreck... ouch...

Right now he is what is called as an unconscious incompetent (no derog intended). Does he have any idea he may be wrong and/or needs some new information? Any chance of him joining the board so he can be "saved"?

His poor family... how they have suffered...
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Unread 05-14-2010, 05:05 PM   #10
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Hmmm, crunchy wings from the Kettle. That does sound good, I like mine golden brown and crunchy.
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Unread 05-14-2010, 05:06 PM   #11
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He seems to be gullible
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Unread 05-14-2010, 05:19 PM   #12
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Some people can't be helped.
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Unread 05-14-2010, 05:30 PM   #13
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Though I appreciate the intent of your actions I just don't touch another's man's grill no matter how bad he's screwing up. "Correcting" a man on his own grill has caused a many of fights.

Again, I admire the intent of your actions but I would have simply not said a word and let him totally screw it up, as it sounded like he did anyway.
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Unread 05-14-2010, 05:38 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bamabuzzard View Post
Though I appreciate the intent of your actions I just don't touch another's man's grill no matter how bad he's screwing up. "Correcting" a man on his own grill has caused a many of fights.

Again, I admire the intent of your actions but I would have simply not said a word and let him totally screw it up, as it sounded like he did anyway.
I appreciate what you are saying and agree, however, the individual is someone I know well enough to be frank about the situation with. I certainly wouldn't have intervened if it were a stranger...
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Unread 05-14-2010, 05:41 PM   #15
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I stand corrected. Good job!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose View Post
I appreciate what you are saying and agree, however, the individual is someone I know well enough to be frank about the situation with. I certainly wouldn't have intervened if it were a stranger...
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