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BBQ Brethren Throwdowns Join us in the backyard for a fun weekly contest and show off your BBQ creations! New categories are posted each week. Winners earn bragging rights, a Throwdown Certificate, and the chance to choose the next week's category. Fun people only please! If you take this too seriously you will have to leave the party until you are fun again.


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Unread 03-08-2013, 11:30 PM   #1
Gore
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Default The Zero's Club

Our Throwdowns are a bit different from most contests. In most contests, when someone gets a zero, they slink away in disgrace. However, in our contests, we give a hearty, "Congratulations!" Because we consider getting a zero a pinnacle of achievement. If you earn a zero, then you are now one of the elite, and with your new-found zero comes the opportunity to join a very prestigious club! You see, there is no shame in getting a zero. In fact, it can be quite hard to get one and some members have worked many a throwdown to try to achieve this honor. Sadly, some never do and end up leaving the throwdowns in disgrace.

So, how did it begin?
It just so happens that on occasion, some absolutely fabulous entries don't get a single vote at all. This can be a shock. It actually got its start with this entry right here by our very own Landarc:



Look at that! Isn't that the most perfectest fattie you ever saw? It was entered in the Breakfast TD of 2010 and earned exactly 0 votes! Here's the proof:

http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/sh...ad.php?t=76918

This was a dilemma for me. I thought this entry was amazing. It was absolutely perfect. But the voting was coming to an end and it had absolutely zero votes. It deserved to win, and yet if I voted for this, it would have one vote. There are countless great entries with 1 or 2 votes. Who even remembers them anymore. I didn't think this should be lost to history. This fattie deserved more! It deserved perfection. Not only did this fattie achieve throwdown perfection in earning that zero, but it was the beginning of the Zero's Club, organized to honor such perfection. The club began soon after, to celebrate those who have been skillful and lucky enough to score a perfect zero. Within the club, members can tell their story and post pictures, and by all means brag about this victory!

Wow, that sounds great! How do I join?

Hold your horses! First of all, you have to score a perfect zero in a Throwdown. If it's a special throwdown and you enter more than one entry, then you have to have a zero in ALL of your entries! That can be quite a feat to perform. One person has actually gotten five zeros in a single Throwdown and earned a Pentezero! He has reached demigod status! You can find out who this person is and read about his story in the Zero Club Archives (assuming Brad remembered to join).

OK, I entered a Throwdown and got a zero, now what?

Joining is a piece of cake. All you have to do is sign up. You can do this from the Group Memberships on your profile page, or you can just click on this link:

http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/group.php?groupid=39

It should ask if you want to join and you simply say yes. Sorry, if you were expecting a secret password or handshake, you're going to be disappointed. We're not so hi-tech here and we go by the honor system. The other thing you'll notice is that this is a self-service club. Yeah, nobody empties the dishwasher, the fridge is always needing beer, and the trash is usually piling up. That's because the person who manages this club is very lazy. But once you're in, it's quite cozy. Make a link and tell your story, read others, and do post pictures! And most definitely, brag about the fabulous zero you earned, especially in that signature of yours. You've got great company!
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Unread 03-09-2013, 12:38 AM   #2
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And, the pinnacle of the pinnacle is the Throwdown Whiplash club. To be a member of that club, you must follow a Throwdown win with a Zero, one week later.

It takes serious talent, quickly followed by serious lack of talent to achieve Throwdown Whiplash.


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Unread 03-09-2013, 11:01 AM   #3
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Default RE: The Zero's Club

It really is difficult. In the Epic Veteran vs. Noobian TD I chased the mythical NonaZero. Alas it was not meant to be, I scored one vote total for all NINE of my entries.

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Unread 03-09-2013, 11:11 AM   #4
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Heh, I can't believe that I never joined the group. Pentazero, nuf said.
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Unread 03-09-2013, 11:18 AM   #5
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Maybe we should have a Zero certificate created for all future Zero winners?
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Unread 03-09-2013, 11:22 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose View Post
Maybe we should have a Zero certificate created for all future Zero winners?
Shunned once again
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Unread 03-09-2013, 11:23 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose View Post
Maybe we should have a Zero certificate created for all future Zero winners?
YES!!!

I just hope we can find someone who is willing to put those together though. We really lucked out when Moose got suckered in to doing the regular certificates.
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The Secret Squirrel Society doesn't exist - Zero Club



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Unread 03-09-2013, 11:25 AM   #8
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Proposed Zero Club Certificate:

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Unread 03-09-2013, 11:25 AM   #9
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That's farking brilliant!
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Unread 03-09-2013, 11:26 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigabyte View Post
YES!!!

I just hope we can find someone who is willing to put those together though. We really lucked out when Moose got suckered in to doing the regular certificates.
I'd probably be willing to do it if someone else can design the template...
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Unread 03-09-2013, 11:27 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colonel00 View Post
Proposed Zero Club Certificate:

I guess I spoke too soon.

Yep, that's it right there...we're good to go!
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Unread 03-09-2013, 12:04 PM   #12
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Ok then, as the apparent new comer I guess it is my duty to distribute these certificates until I die or you find someone better to do it. Just PM me the following:
  • Your name
  • The TD your got screwed in
  • Your address
  • The person who won said TD
  • A credit card number and expiration date (with that stupid "secret" number which we have to give everyone anyway which really doesn't make it that secret now does it?)
  • A little background info about yourself to personalize the certificate
    1. Birthplace
    2. Social Security Number
    3. Info about your parents including your mother's maiden name
    4. Favorite pet's name
    5. The first 4 numbers that pop into your head
  • A brief 500 word essay on WWGALD
  • A legitimate work email address (not the crappy gmail you use to sign up for BBQ forums and pr0n sites.)
  • The photo you would like on the certificate (It does not have to be the item you cooked or even your photo)

Please allow 6-24 weeks for delivery. International customers are just farked.


BONUS

Act now and you may have the opportunity to participate in some limited time offers such as the chance to collect a long lost Nigerian relative's fortune or the opportunity to help a stranded stranger in South Africa.

All sales are final. WWGALD LLC. reserves the right to deny entry. Violators will be violated.
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Unread 03-09-2013, 12:12 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colonel00 View Post


BONUS

Act now and you may have the opportunity to participate in some limited time offers such as the chance to collect a long lost Nigerian relative's fortune or the opportunity to help a stranded stranger in South Africa.

All sales are final. WWGALD LLC. reserves the right to deny entry. Violators will be violated.
That's the funniest farking thing I've seen since the "Rub Bacon On It" song.

Maybe even funnier, if such a thing is even possible...

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Unread 03-09-2013, 12:50 PM   #14
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Rub some bacon on it Moose.
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Unread 03-09-2013, 12:51 PM   #15
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Also, BigButzBBQ and I reserve the right to deny any and all entry, as the rightful KINGS of the zeros. Ever look at my sig?
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