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BBQ Brethren Throwdowns Join us in the backyard for a fun weekly contest and show off your BBQ creations! New categories are posted each week. Winners earn bragging rights, a Throwdown Certificate, and the chance to choose the next week's category. Fun people only please! If you take this too seriously you will have to leave the party until you are fun again.


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Unread 03-03-2013, 11:45 PM   #1
bigabyte
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Angry Hey Biggles, how the fark can *I* promote the Throwdowns?

Excellent question! I'm so glad you asked.

The FIRST thing you could do is add a link and an invitation to the Throwdowns in your signature as first proposed in this thread by Grillman.

You have incredible power right at your fingertips. You can create a thread in Q-Talk detailing your cook, complete with lots of cool pictures, recipes, techniques and everything! You can become the envy of the Brethren membership with your culinary prowess, and many of you do that today.

Now put yourself in the shoes of someone new. They see your cook thread and think "Wow, that is amazing", but if the only reference to the TD is something like this...
Quote:
So I cooked this for the TD, and it went a little something like this.
Well, that new person doesn't even know what the fark that TD reference even means, and isn't really going to care enough to find out because they are more interested in the AMAZING food and pictures in your Q-Talk thread!

Now imagine if someone new saw something like this instead...

Quote:
Like many of you, I cooked some amazing food today, and like most of you, we all enjoyed a great time getting together, cooking the food, and most of all eating it. However, unlike you farking ingrates, I not only did all that, but I entered my dish into the ALMIGHTY BBQ BRETHREN "insert td name here" THROWDOWN!!!

Here's a link to the TD so you too can participate.

(insert link here)

All are welcome, and encouraged to participate.

So here's what I did...
...or something like that (maybe not so over the top, but I think you get the idea...unless you're farking stupid, which is also entirely possible.

I can already hear you asking....

But biggy, why the fark would I want to help some new guy figure out where the TD forum is, or what the TD's are all about, or encourage new people to particpate???

BECAUSE I FARKING SAID SO YOU FARKING INGRATES!!! NOW GET OUT THERE AND RECRUIT ME SOME NEW FARKING BLOOD YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF FARKING...

OK, so now that we have a slightly better idea of how the OP in our cook thread MIGHT be able to be used to help get new blood over into the TD forum, and all that other happy-hippy horsechit that all those farking TD Ho's are always bitching incessantly on and on the fark about...let's see what else we can do with the MAGIC POWER OF A COOK THREAD!!!

When your dish is being voted on, you could bump your cook thread over in Q-Talk with a message like...

Quote:
Hey there, I'm a worthless, sniveling little TD Ho who is desperately looking for attention, and your votes could very will fill the gaping hole in my pathetic life.

To vote on my dish, just go to this link and cast your vote!

(insert TD vote link here)
That's just an example, you can use your own custom words if you like, but I think you get the idea...UNLESS YOU'RE FARKING STUPID OR SOMETHING!!!

I can hear you say...Hey biggy, that's great and all, putting me to work for no farking pay whatsoever just to pimp your farking TD forum so you can rake in all those big bucks while leaving us little guys back in the farking dust, but is that ALL that you really want us to do? Because I could really use a nap if you're finished.

NO I'M NOT FINISHED YOU FARKING PUKES!!!

Let's assume you don't win. A fair assumption since you generally tend to greatly overestimate not only your culinary prowess, but your popularity here on these forums as well. In fact, let's assume you get a farking ZERO! (high probability).

Why the fark wouldn't you pimp out your big fat loser of a dish by bumping your farking Q-Talk thread again with something like this...

Quote:
I know you guys are going to have a real hard time believing this, but this dish DID NOT WIN the farking Throwdown over here at...(insert link here). CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!!? It's a farking CONSPIRACY I tell you! Do you really think you could farking cook better than this farking masterpiece I slaved over?
Who the fark knows? Maybe next week you will win the sympathy vote?

Alternatively, suppose you won and you bragged about it in your cooking thread? I mean...seriously, what's the point of that? You only made the best farking dish posted in Q-Talk that week. Who the fark else won? Sure, Joe-Blow may have cooked some amazing thing that wasn't related to the farking category...BUT THAT'S JUST IT! His farking dish didn't even QUALIFY it was THAT farking pathetic!

So rub it in their farking faces already! Let them bask in your glory, and kiss your butt for a while! Post your shiny new certificate out there in your cook thread and make people jealous of your amazing skills! NOBODY else won (unless there was a tie, but you get the idea).

OWN IT!!!

Make those non-TD participating Q-Talk losers regret their indecision, make them WISH they had joined the TD instead. Rule the farking Q-Talk forum with your TD cooks! Turn Q-Talk into nothing more than a farking stepping stone for people to get to the vastly superior Throwdown forum! It's time to put that farking Q-Talk bitch of a farking forum in it's proper farking place!

JUST FARKING DO IT ALREADY!!!! WHAT THE FARK ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!?!?!

MOVE IT, THAT'S A FARKING ORDER!!!!
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Duh.

Last edited by bigabyte; 03-08-2013 at 10:23 PM..
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Unread 03-04-2013, 09:03 AM   #2
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So what are you saying exactly?
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Unread 03-04-2013, 09:10 AM   #3
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SHUT THE FARK UP AND PIMP THE FARKING THROWDOWNS ALREADY YOU FARKING MAGGOTS!!!
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Duh.
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Unread 03-04-2013, 09:15 AM   #4
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The soft-and-fuzzy Bigabyte is dead. Sounds like we've got militant Chris now. Ok troops, let's get crackin'!
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Unread 03-04-2013, 09:24 AM   #5
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I guess this means I have to cook something? If only there was a place where I could find out more information on these "TD's" and which ones were currently in progress
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Unread 03-04-2013, 09:47 AM   #6
bigabyte
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PIMP IT BITCHES!!!

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Duh.
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Unread 03-04-2013, 09:57 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigabyte View Post
PIMP IT BITCHES!!!

I liked the other one, mebee
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Unread 03-04-2013, 10:28 AM   #8
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I'm thinking that pussy had a really rough night.
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Unread 03-04-2013, 10:30 AM   #9
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but, isn't it pussy that got us here in the first place......
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Unread 03-04-2013, 10:36 AM   #10
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I don't remember asking. Is anyone ELSE calling you Biggles?!?
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Unread 03-04-2013, 10:51 AM   #11
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I'm confused (which happens way too easily and frequently)... but I thought the recent changes made included something about only mods being able to pimp the TD's in Qtalk? Are we back to being freelance TD pimps-at-large?
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Unread 03-04-2013, 11:04 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caliking View Post
I'm confused (which happens way too easily and frequently)... but I thought the recent changes made included something about only mods being able to pimp the TD's in Qtalk? Are we back to being freelance TD pimps-at-large?
Excellent question.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO DO THE FOLLOWING:

Post a Q-Talk thread detailing your entry, usually a cooking session, with whatever details you like to include. There is no reason you can no take FULL advantage of this thread to pimp the ever living fark out of the Throwdowns and make everyone else feel like a complete loser for not having joined the farking Throwdowns already!

You can also bump this thread later. For example, when the category goes to voting, you could bump the thread with a link to the VOTE thread asking for people to vote.

Another useful way to pimp the Throwdowns with this thread is to bump it again when the votes are all cast and the winner is announced. Obviously the person with the winning entry could announce he won and give a big elaborate speech, show of their shiny new certificate, and make everyone who didn't enter feel very jealous, and wait for all the congratulations to come pouring into their thread (unless everyone is just a bunch of sore losers that is). Even if you lost, you could go out and bump your thread just to blame everyone else for why your amazing dish did not win. Maybe it was the voters fault. Maybe it's a conspiracy against you. But you ahve every right to be proud of your dish and show it off again no matter how it fared in the voting.

No mod is ever going to give you crap for pimping the TD's in your own Q-Talk threads THAT ARE LEGITIMATE Q-TALK THREADS (like a cooking thread used to make and entry into the TD's).

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to create a thread in Q-Talk whose only purpose and content is asking people to join the Throwdowns or to vote or otherwise participate.
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Duh.
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Unread 03-04-2013, 11:10 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigabyte View Post

Obviously the person with the winning entry could announce he won and give a big elaborate speech, show of their shiny new certificate, and make everyone who didn't enter feel very jealous, and wait for all the congratulations to come p
But it takes 12 months to get the shiny certificate thingy at which point whos is going to GIVE A FARK...
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Unread 03-04-2013, 11:10 AM   #14
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Whoa whoa whoa! Throwdowns have living fark in them?!?! What is the going rate to pimp out said living fark and what percentage does the pimp keep for himself?
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Unread 03-04-2013, 11:12 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluesman View Post
But it takes 12 months to get the shiny certificate thingy at which point whos is going to GIVE A FARK...
Well, you have to finally send the PM to Moose with the details he asked for before you get one.
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