Our Homepage Donation to Forum Overhead Recipes Smoke Signals Magazine Welocme Merchandise Associations Purchase Subscription Amazon Affiliate
Go Back   The BBQ BRETHREN FORUMS. > Discussion Area > Q-talk


Q-talk *ON TOPIC ONLY* QUALITY ON TOPIC discussion of Backyard BBQ, grilling, equipment and outdoor cookin' . ** Other cooking techniques are welcomed for when your cookin' in the kitchen. Post your hints, tips, tricks & techniques, success, failures, but stay on topic and watch for that hijacking.

Thread Tools
Old 01-29-2013, 09:21 PM   #1

Gore's Avatar
Join Date: 10-05-08
Location: Hiding out from blood suck ghost snake gods, Nazis and scrap iron chefs trying to harvest body parts
Name/Nickname : Gore (surprise!)
Default Cooking with the Master: Episode XIX, Italian

What follows is the transcript of “Cooking with the Master: Italian, Episode XIX”

I (Gore): Wow, what's going on? It looks like we're filming a new episode. I thought we jumped the shark?

Master: Correction, Gore, we almost jumped the shark. You may recall in the last episode that just as we were about to jump the shark, the captain threw the wrong lever, and the shark turned into a SPAMfish. We never actually jumped it. However, just at that critical moment, Ninja Squirrel's younger brother Smokey turned on the transmorgraphier and beamed us all back here to the lab. All of us, except poor Ninja, of course.

I (Gore): Yes, I understand that, but we appear to be filming an episode.

Master: That is correct! Unbeknownst to all of us, Ninja had taken out a $10 million traveler's insurance policy with Smokey as beneficiary. With those funds, Smokey has purchased the rights to "Cooking with the Master," bought the castle, and we start filming our first episode on brand new sets.

I (Gore): That's very curious. I never knew Ninja had a younger brother and when did he learn how to operate the transmorgraphier?

Narrator: Filming in 5...4...3...2...1...

Master: Ladies, Gentlemen, Gooood Eeeeevening! And welcome to "Cooking with the Master," a show about cooking. I ... am the Master! Joined by my co-chef Smokey Squirrel and his assistant, Gore, I will demonstrate revolutionary advances in BBQ Science. The topic of this week’s show is "Italian Food." It appears there is quite a controversy about BBQing Italian food. To assist us today, we call on our panel of experts. Gore, can you pull the lever on the transmorgraphier please.

[sparks and smoke fly, and the beautiful and sparkling laboratory is transferred to its former dingy likeness]

I (Gore): What happened to the color?

[Then, in a puff of blue smoke, the panel appears]

Narrator: Why it’s N8man, CD and the Larry, the BBQ Grail himself!

[Audience claps and cheers]

Master: Greetings, and thank you for coming. As Italians, and BBQ authorities, I would like you to assure the audience that we can produce great Italian BBQ on the grill.

Larry: Italians?

Master: Maybe not by blood, of course, but it takes a true Italian to make great meatballs and you are a world-reknowned expert in making the "MOINK" and bringing Italian BBQ to the forefront!

Larry: I hope you capitalized "MOINK" when you said that.

CD: That is hardly Italian! As the only real Italian here, I can attest that BBQ and spaghetti should never be combined!

N8man: I can tell you that BBQ meatballs are the perfect treat for my cousin Santy Claus and he's been to Italy more than anyone I know.

Larry: So the first step in the recipe is to take the packaged meatballs out of the freezer.

CD: Arrrrgh! What are you talking about? Everything has to be homemade. That's the only way to make Italian food!

N8man: Reminds me I should be making some meatballs for my pappy again while it's still the proper season.

[Gore walks in]

I (Gore): Master, the fire is ready.

In tonight's show, we'll be taking our panel's advice and making BBQ spaghetti 'n meatball. Before we do anything, we boil up some spaghetti. It helps if this is cooked al dente, as Ninja, ... errr, Smokey demonstrates.

Next we prepare the meat. We need stability, so I prefer to use Italian sausage. I use between 2 and 3 pounds. I recommend against using breadcrumbs for this particular recipe. The sausage is rolled out, covered in a healthy layer of mozzarella and grated Parmesan cheeses

Larry: I personally would recommend a pork mousse as it can easily be molded to suit your needs.

CD: I hope you have some decent prosciutto. At least with some decent prosciutto, this won't be a total write-off.

As my Co-chef Smokey will demonstrate, next we blend ricotta cheese with egg and parsley.

We then mix the spaghetti with this ricotta mixture and place it on top of the Parmesan.

Then we cover the top with another layer of mozzarella, Parmesan and a final layer of meat. This is molded into a meatball:

Our assistant, Gore, will place this into our 300*-350*smoker for a between 1 and 2 hours, until it reaches about 165* IT. We want the internal cheese to set.

I (Gore): CD, my hands are full, can you snap a picture of this?

CD: Professional photographers call this a soft-focus.

I (Gore): Perfect!

There are several serving suggestions. If you are particularly hungry, this can be eaten on a bed of spaghetti and topped with spaghetti sauce.

CD: I hope that's homemade sauce at least.

I (Gore): You'll have to get the recipe from one of the chefs. You know I didn't make it.

In most cases, you will probably want to serve slices of the spaghetti 'n meatball.

We serve with fresh-grated Parmesan and grilled baby artichokes.

Master: Let’s give a big hand to Larry, N8man and CD for their help in making tonight's meal.

[Audience applauds wildly as the three guests leave in a puff of blue smoke]

Narrator: This episode of “Cooking with the Master” was brought to you by the BBQ Brethren Throwdown sub-forum found at the top of Q-talk or at
Please join us every week to enter and/or vote for your favorite entry. There are lots of great dishes described in the entry threads. The recipes and views expressed on “Cooking with the Master” do not necessarily represent those of the BBQ Brethren, Gore, Q-Talk, or Smokey Squirrel. Note that all characters in this episode are purely fictional, and any resemblance to actual Brethren is purely coincidental.

I (Gore): That’s a wrap!

Smokey: Squeak!
Assistant to a Mad BBQ Scientist (and a squirrel): Primo Oval XL, Small Offset, Gasser, Optigrill, UBS
"I love everything about the pig, even the way she walks." -- Spanish proverb
(='.'=) This is the rabbit baby. Invests him in yours signature,
(")_(") and the help rabbit baby takes over control of the world!
Hmmmm, I wonder, WWGALD? Avatar courtesy of Grillman and NorthwestBBQ

Promoted by Bigabyte to "Idiot #1" , and dubbed "Phizzy" by Sir Ron.
Gore is offline   Reply With Quote

Old 01-29-2013, 09:32 PM   #2
is One Chatty Farker
Offthehook's Avatar
Join Date: 12-04-12
Location: Los Angeles, CA

I have to say that does look awesome
Taylor-WSM 18.5 with Wifi Stoker, Kamado Smoker BBQ, and lots of charcoal. 180 club-Chicken
Offthehook is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from:--->
Old 01-29-2013, 09:34 PM   #3
somebody shut me the fark up.
bigabyte's Avatar
Join Date: 05-10-06
Location: Overland Fark, KS

That looks delicious!

But this whole Ninja/Smokey thing...something smells fishy.

...Oh, no wait, maybe it's just this!

Asshattatron Farkanaut, CGCFO
Chief Galactic Crockpot Foil Officer
Certified MOINK Baller & IMBAS Certified MOINK Ball Judge #0003 - Are you MOINK Certified?
Sole recipient of the Silverfinger and fingerlickin Awards!

Don't forget about the Throwdown Thingies!
The Secret Squirrel Society doesn't exist - Zero Club

bigabyte is offline   Reply With Quote

Old 01-29-2013, 09:57 PM   #4
Al Czervik
Quintessential Chatty Farker

Join Date: 05-17-11
Location: Ulaanbaatar-Spokane, MO-WA

Another instant classic!
[B][COLOR=blue]Ögedei[/COLOR] [/B]

[COLOR=navy]Traeger 075,[/COLOR][COLOR=#000080]Weber Performer,[/COLOR][COLOR=navy]Weber Genesis Silver Gasser, [/COLOR][COLOR=#000080]Special Edition "Goose" ET-732 Thermometer,[/COLOR][COLOR=#000080]Limited Edition Neutrino Fast Blue Thermopen[/COLOR]
[B][I][FONT=Palatino Linotype][URL=""][COLOR=red]Zero[/COLOR][/URL][COLOR=red] Club Member [/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B][B][I][FONT=Palatino Linotype][COLOR=darkorange][COLOR=red]qualifying in the 2011 Special Summer of Spam TD with the Coveted Double Ought...[/COLOR] :bow:[/COLOR][/FONT][/I][/B]
[LEFT][SIZE=1](='.'=) Avatar by Chalupa [/SIZE][/LEFT]
[LEFT][SIZE=1](")_(") [/SIZE][/LEFT]
Al Czervik is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from:--->
Old 01-29-2013, 10:14 PM   #5
somebody shut me the fark up.

Titch's Avatar
Join Date: 11-17-12
Location: South East Victoria Australia
Name/Nickname : Titch :-)

Awsome gore.
Titch is online now   Reply With Quote

Thanks from:--->
Old 01-29-2013, 10:17 PM   #6
Will work for bbq
Babbling Farker

Will work for bbq's Avatar
Join Date: 06-23-10
Location: NorCal

Smokey my butt... I knew that surfin' farker on Mongo's beer looked familiar.

Loved the episode though.
00 Slowskys Racing

Agent 000 (Double O Zero)
Certified MOINK Baller

When all else fails just ask yourself, WWGALD???
Super sexy Farkernaut Avatar by N8man

Will work for bbq is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from: --->
Old 01-29-2013, 10:32 PM   #7
somebody shut me the fark up.

Join Date: 06-26-09
Location: sAn leAnDRo, CA

I am stunned at the size of your meaty ball. Amazing
[COLOR=DarkGreen][COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]me: I don't drink anymore

Yelonutz: me either, but, then again, I don't drink any less
landarc is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from:--->
Old 01-29-2013, 11:51 PM   #8
is One Chatty Farker
Join Date: 07-01-12
Location: Fredericksburg, VA

Where can I get a foil hat for my dog?

Sent from my Nexus using Tapatalk 2
[B][I][COLOR=black]*A Texan transplant*[/COLOR][/I][/B]

[B][SIZE=1][COLOR=black]UDS | [COLOR=blue]Blue[/COLOR] Weber Performer Platinum | Chargriller Akorn | 22.5 Weber OTG | WSJ Gold | Mini WSM | Maverick ET-73 | [COLOR=blue]Blue [/COLOR][COLOR=black]Thermapen | Maverick PT-100 |[/COLOR] Gasser(charcoal chimney starter)[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]
chriscw81 is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from:--->
Old 01-29-2013, 11:55 PM   #9
somebody shut me the fark up.

Titch's Avatar
Join Date: 11-17-12
Location: South East Victoria Australia
Name/Nickname : Titch :-)

Originally Posted by landarc View Post
I am stunned at the size of your meaty ball. Amazing
His ball looks like it needs Lancing,rubbing up Stuffed toys I think

Titch is online now   Reply With Quote

Thanks from: --->
Old 01-30-2013, 12:12 AM   #10
Quintessential Chatty Farker

Join Date: 07-08-10
Location: Boyertown, PA

Is it wrong that I want to make a spaghetti stuffed meatball now? I know it feels wrong, but fark that looks good. Am I losing it?
Jason [/I]

"I can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's a$$, but I'd rather take a butcher's word for it". - [I]Tommy Callahan III[/I][/COLOR][/COLOR]
[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=Black]Backwoods Ext. Party,[/COLOR][/SIZE][/SIZE][/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=DarkGreen] [COLOR=Black]Vision Kamado,[/COLOR][/COLOR][/B][B][COLOR=DarkGreen][COLOR=DarkGreen][B][COLOR=Black] 22" WSM[/COLOR][/B],[/COLOR] 22.5 Weber OTS, [/COLOR][/B][COLOR=DarkGreen][B]Mini WSM, [/B][COLOR=Red][B] UDS "No.8"[/B][/COLOR][/COLOR]

[COLOR=Teal] [COLOR=Black][B][COLOR=DarkSlateGray]Napkin Killers BBQ[/COLOR]
fingerlickin' is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from: --->
Old 01-30-2013, 02:14 AM   #11
somebody shut me the fark up.
Join Date: 04-24-09
Location: Utrecht,TheNetherPharkinglands

There are some craaaazy Pharkers hanging around here!
-WGA (3)
-UDS (S,M,L)

All fueled by [COLOR=lime]Ecobrasa[/COLOR] Coco Briquettes

*[URL=""]Lowland Smokers[/URL] Dutch BBQ Champion 2011 - 2012*
*[URL=""]Lowland Smokers[/URL] Dutch BBQ Champion 2013 Low 'n Slow
*WGA Ambassador
Phubar is offline   Reply With Quote

Old 01-30-2013, 02:20 AM   #12
somebody shut me the fark up.
buccaneer's Avatar
Join Date: 10-23-10
Location: The Never Never.

When I first joined this site I had the good sense and taste to be nauseated by that ,Jason.
Nowadays, I too want to eat it.
I'm whackadoodled...
Hold my dang beer...
buccaneer is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from: --->
Old 01-30-2013, 03:15 AM   #13
Babbling Farker
N8man's Avatar
Join Date: 05-09-07
Location: God's Country Ossipee-Osceola NC

So's that why I been all dizzy headed the last few days....and craving
eye-talian food too......

Gore, you sir are a hoot!!!
Average Joe Backyard Enthusiast

How I Fire Up That Ugly DrumPit Smoker!!!!
N8man is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from:--->
Old 01-30-2013, 07:45 AM   #14
Full Fledged Farker
Shooter1's Avatar
Join Date: 10-19-10
Location: Lutz, Florida

I love it, you are the man Gore! Fark that is a big meatball.
18.5 WSM 18.5 Jack Daniels OTS Weber Genesis
Shooter1 is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from:--->
Old 01-30-2013, 08:08 AM   #15
somebody shut me the fark up.

bluetang's Avatar
Join Date: 08-06-10
Location: Stuart, Fl
Name/Nickname : Mike

Farkin righteous!
Homey, the Homegrown frier, 3 Stack Pro Q Excel 20, 22" WSM, 18.5" Elderly(but not retired) WSM, 150lb Capacity Homegrown Electric, Weber gasserrrr,Weber Performer, Gravity feed smoker, Blackstone, Indisputably Fastest Purple Thermapen, SAI Satay Grill

Avatar by landarc, thanky!
bluetang is offline   Reply With Quote

Thanks from:--->

Cooking with the Master, Italian

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Forum Custom Search: Enter your Search text below. GOOGLE will search ONLY the BBQ Brethren Forum.
Custom search MAY not work(no display box) in some configurations of Internet Explorer. Please use compliant version of Firefox or Chrome.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:32 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
2003 -2012 © BBQ-Brethren Inc. All rights reserved. All Content and Flaming Pig Logo are registered and protected under U.S and International Copyright and Trademarks. Content Within this Website Is Property of BBQ Brethren Inc. Reproduction or alteration is strictly prohibited.
no new posts