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Q-talk *ON TOPIC ONLY* QUALITY ON TOPIC discussion of Backyard BBQ, grilling, Equipment and just outdoor cookin' in general, hints, tips, tricks & techniques, success, failures... but stay on topic. And watch for that hijacking.


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Unread 01-21-2013, 09:15 PM   #1
zachg18
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Hey Everyone,

So I'm in the process of writing a screenplay about competitive barbecuing (think Beer Fest meets Talladega Nights). It's a comedy and it involves all these different countries coming to Texas to compete in the World Cue Off. I'm aware something like this already exists in real life (I think Jack Daniels sponsors it?), except I added some other countries into this to make it funnier (China, Russia, Pakistan, etc).

Anyway, my big issue is: How do I make BBQ exciting?

I need to have some intense moments, some suspense, that sort of thing.

For example, once you've prepared a brisket and thrown it in your pit, you have hours and hours before anything really happens.... which can be boring.

I've tried to avoid the actual bbq part in the movie as much as possible, but I obviously need to have it in there.

Anyway, thanks for any help/advice, I really appreciate it.
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Unread 01-21-2013, 09:43 PM   #2
garzanium
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What do most folks do when they have time to kill at Any gathering? Drink and BS .

If Talladega night style, would be funny if the Russians where drinking Mexican beer, the Mexicans drinking vodka, the American rednecks drinking Champaign and the French drinking moon shine :)

same culture reversal,while drinking of course, would apply around camp playing "traditional" games associated with a specific country...

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Unread 01-21-2013, 10:30 PM   #3
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Grease fires! Oh, yeah, flames shooting up 10 feet over your head. Chinese fire drill for real this time!
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Unread 01-21-2013, 10:54 PM   #4
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'injecting and rubbing meats'. some real juvinile humor there. Shigging needs to be there. You have to have the up and coming team competing against the winningest man in BBQ (Myron). Best comparison to another script I would say is Beerfest. 'Secret recipes' passed down from generations, underground society, etc, etc.
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Unread 01-21-2013, 10:56 PM   #5
Ole Man Dan
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After getting them liquored up you could have a confrontation between the Chinese and Pakistanis.
It starts with trash talking, and proceeds to the Pakistani chasing the Chinese guy (Jackie Chan) with an Injector.
Myron has to get up from the Judges table to end the spat.
He's armed with a 'Cleaver', and a glass of Jack Daniels.
(Has to be some realism)

Note: You might let the Pakistani guy catch Chan, he's been pretty anti American lately.
Maybe inject Jackie with Beef Broth for comic effect.

Last edited by Ole Man Dan; 01-21-2013 at 10:59 PM.. Reason: format
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Unread 01-22-2013, 01:42 AM   #6
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Could do it all naked!!!!!
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Unread 01-22-2013, 04:10 AM   #7
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Gotta be a "farmer's daughter scene" ... Cleaver wielding father chases man from trailer.
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Unread 01-22-2013, 05:25 AM   #8
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It may be more attractive if you shoot our chinese enjoy eating head and neck of duck and chicken, specially claw of chicken. By the way China crime group smuggle chicken claw from States! We also eat pig head, kidney, which are more expensive than ordiney meat.
Balls of pig lamb cattle are most expensive.
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Unread 01-22-2013, 05:35 AM   #9
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Unread 01-22-2013, 07:31 AM   #10
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I think it would be funny to have a BBQ Team from Israel - the “Hebrew Porkers”. They don't eat their food they just want to win the prize money.

Yeah – I just stereotyped.
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Unread 01-22-2013, 07:46 AM   #11
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Two words. "translation errors".

Heck, 'butt' is the source of non-stop, constant amusement despite the fact that we're all grow'd up and know that it's the shoulder.

The judge opens the pork butt box to find.... a butt.
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Unread 01-22-2013, 08:17 AM   #12
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Awesome! Thanks for all of the suggestions, I'm definitely going to take them into consideration. If you have any more ideas, keep 'em coming!

Thanks!
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Unread 01-22-2013, 08:27 AM   #13
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Here are some casting ideas.

Will Ferrel: as the overly confident and cocky winningest man in BBQ

Sam Elliot: as the grizzled old BBQ veteran ala Johnny Trigg

Owen Wilson: as a new age BBQ zenmaster type who meditates and believes in being one with the meat

Ben Stiller: as a BBQ tech junkie that has the most expensive pit and every BBQ gadget and has taken every class imaginable, but still can't win.

Just a few that popped into my head.
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Unread 01-22-2013, 09:15 AM   #14
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OK. These are all funny moments to have in the movie, but the most important thing is that the movie has to be a movie first.

I'd have snippets of nearly everything mentioned above, but there has to be a story in there.

The obvious one would be to have the main character be something of an outsider to the world of competitive bbq. Foreigner/Convict that cooks with prison food ingredients/Vegan with conflicting interests, etc. The problem is that this is obvious and played out.

With the reality-tv wave of the past 10+ years becoming the bulk of our entertainment, i'd recommend going to a fake documentary style thing - follow 3-4 teams of equally strange but very different people as they go through the season. This would be great.

Have one of the teams be a major re-occuring champion who is a dick.
Have a squeaky clean bible belt couple who does everything together as team #2.
Team 3 could be just some drunk hillbilly dudes who pound moonshine and act moronic,
Team 4 could be a nice normal farker who lost his job and now really "needs this".

It's a pretty standard mock-umentary style - but it's always good if you have the right people.

Watch "Best In Show" - shoot for something like that.
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Unread 01-22-2013, 09:41 AM   #15
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Get that grinders guy to come and light his smoker up--streatch was his name. That guy is funny
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