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Old 12-23-2012, 12:16 AM   #1
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Join Date: 03-30-12
Location: Altoona Ia.
Default "My First Time"!!!!!

Anyway, So this is how the story went for me.:p
I roll over and think to myself man I need a smoke.... so I jump up and get dressed and head out the door to light up. I think fark its cold look at the thermometer its 18 deg. Fark it is cold
I know what your thinking. Farker you forgot the good part!!! No I didn't . I thought I would just set the mood. So go light a candle & get the EVOO!! Cause here it comes......:)
Ok so like all good stories start. I was standing there minding my own bussiness when all of a sudden, along comes this young seducing little bird, all dressed up & showing off her suggestive packaging!!!
When she went by swear I heard her say gobble gobble:what: Now I know what your thinking, and I was to. But ole lady was with me..... so to make along story short my lady said "Go for it stud" so I did. I walked up struck a pose and said check out these sweet guns!!!
Well needless to say we brought her home. She said she was from the coast,& missed the smell of salt water the most. So me I come up with a great idea, (salt bath) I just couldn't wait to see her in her birthday suit anyway.then she said I'm only 20. I thought to myself " wow that's heavy":thumbup:
So we begin to run her bath and my girl being the lady she is eases her out of the form fitting layer and into the bath. She soaked for what seemed like 8hrs. So I thought fark she gotta be about brined by now.:banghead::banghead:
(Still got your interest?) Well now she had mine to. I'm thinking about now that its time for the gun show again,& so was she. So my girl got out oil and the party flavors. Wow what a party we rubbed her down and all the ole lady kept saying was don't forget the breast.:screwy:
Man ohh man what a night, needles to say I kinda nervous since it was " My First Time"!!! So you probably can guess I didn't get a lot of sleep. I kept going over and over all my moves. (Not to many) wanted to k.I.s.s. but did I k.I.s.s. right?
So here it is. Smoke time. I get outside everything is frozen. My thoughts drift back to the young thing waiting inside so I grab my heat gun and warm things up enough to get the locks undone (nother story) had to get to my lighter. I hide it the wife don't like it when I go out to smoke. Says I'm gone to long .
Ok back to it.. so things are really heating up now. On a scale of 1-10 its 286 and things are looking good . So its time to add heat to the meat. You might say. So I'm not gonna let the cold get me down. And performane was better than what the wife expected.
Should be pic of uds here. (Fark)

I was also proud that's why I'm telling you this little diddy.
Our new little friend was all hot and ready to go. So I grab a bag of ice said Hold that on her breast for an hr that will cool her where she needs to be till I'm ready for her.
Insert pic here to..

So now its time for the guns to shine & shine they did. (For about 5 1/2 hrs ) that little bird said my breast temp is at 170& I can't take no more of those sweet hot guns!!! So I let rest about for about 30 mins:banghead:
Another here...

Then I tore into her again. Ill tell you that ice trick sure does work.Now that she gone all I can say is that I'll never forget those juicy breast ...or. "My First Time"....
So me and the wife want to thank all the brethern& brethernets.because this never would have happened without all of your help.:thumbup::thumbup:: and a round for the house!!!:beer::beer:

Did 2 butts also forgot to use those in story. But we all had little butt........... pron.:D

Farken farkity fark fark pron won't load and it took for ever to type this out fark fark fark. Well I'll see what happened try to fix it.

Fark it did happen golden brown and I would say it was one of the best turkeys I've had in years every body loved it.

Fark sorry bout pron but I
Smoke on brethern!! / Mini OTS- 22.5 OTS-Rev Flw CB DLX-Brink Smk Kg dlx. (&2 prodj.)
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Old 12-23-2012, 06:02 AM   #2
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Location: Gastonia North Carolina

Fowel play! What a love story!!
My arsenal, Stumps Clone, Two Modified offsets, open pit with grate and rotisserie,UDS, and a free to me Weber One Touch Silver 18.5" kettle
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Old 12-23-2012, 07:28 AM   #3
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Join Date: 10-01-12
Location: Columbia, Missourah

I want some of what you're smokin'.....
[B]New Braunfels El Dorado[/B] USA, [B][COLOR=Sienna]The BEAST [/COLOR][/B][COLOR=Sienna][COLOR=Black]whole hog rotisserie, Weber Smokey Joe, [/COLOR][B][SIZE=1][SIZE=1]The M[/SIZE]ini Be[SIZE=1]ast [/SIZE][/SIZE][/B][COLOR=Black][SIZE=2], [B][COLOR=Red][SIZE=2]Thermapen, [/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][COLOR=Red][SIZE=2][COLOR=Black]Maverick ET732, 100 acres of Hickory and Oak hardwoods.
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[/SIZE][/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/COLOR][/COLOR][B][I]You can't always be young, but you can always be immature.[/I][/B]
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Old 12-23-2012, 08:23 AM   #4
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Good stuff!
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Old 12-24-2012, 06:29 PM   #5
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Join Date: 03-30-12
Location: Altoona Ia.

Thanks I tried to keep it interesting. It was sure interesting for me. :DLearned a lot from everybody and the experiance.
Smoke on brethern!! / Mini OTS- 22.5 OTS-Rev Flw CB DLX-Brink Smk Kg dlx. (&2 prodj.)
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Old 12-24-2012, 06:40 PM   #6
somebody shut me the fark up.

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Join Date: 10-16-10
Location: Culver City, CA

So what you're saying is you were able to talk the missus into eating this chick with you, right?

It can be nice to rub oil on the skin - all over - and I've always noticed that getting the cooker up to temp before putting the meat in is a very good idea - really helps for everything getting finished all at the same time. That way's everybody's happy.
50" Klose BYC, 22.5 WSM, Backwoods Chubby, UDS, 26" & 22.5" Weber Kettles, Jumbo Joe, WGA, WSJ/MUDS, Jumbo Old Smokey, a piece of expanded metal I throw over the fire pit sometimes, Stealthy Black & Vol Orange Thermapens
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Old 12-25-2012, 12:56 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by gtr View Post
So what you're saying is you were able to talk the missus into eating this chick with you, right?

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Old 12-25-2012, 03:51 PM   #8
somebody shut me the fark up.

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Join Date: 10-23-10
Location: Australia, West Coast

Turns out Jethro& co are quite the cunning linguists!
Cowards hunt in packs
Strife brings out friends
Injustice brings out decency
but only in the classy people

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Old 12-26-2012, 12:15 AM   #9
Pyle's BBQ
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Originally Posted by buccaneer View Post
Turns out Jethro& co are quite the cunning linguists!
I see what you did there.
Team: Pyle's BBQ; Yoder YS640; Good-One "Trail Boss" 60T; Weber Kettle w/rotisserie ring; Big A$$ Rotisserie; Weber OTS; New Braunfels offset smoker.

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