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Old 01-16-2012, 12:32 PM   #1
Gore
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Default So you want to cook a Zombie *** Warning: Graphic ***

OK, you've finally decapitated your Zombie and want to know the best method for cooking it. Unless your Zombie is fresh, the meat can be rancid. We generally recommend just sticking with the brain cavity. It just so happens that we have a well-tested recipe for stuffed Zombie heads:



The first thing you'll need to do is to clean out that brain cavity. It is essential to wash it out really well. We do this first and OUTSIDE the house, because cleaning a Zombie can be a stinky, messy job. The last thing you want is your wife yelling at you because you didn't clean all the Zombie brains off the ceiling. After it is thoroughly cleaned, we can work on that stuffing. You may season this as you like. We like to add a healthy dose of ketchup for a hearty flavor. We generally smoke our Zombies as the smoke is a preservative and the smokiness helps to cover up any remnants of rancidity. It can be a bit gruesome. The worst part is that filling up the Zombie brain cavity can sometimes cause re-animation. The last time we cooked Zombie, we narrowly survived, but for the quick reactions of my sous chef.



So, don't think you can stomach cooking a real Zombie? Afraid of the potential hazards? Don't like the smell or the mess? Or maybe you just don't have a fresh Zombie around to cook up. Well, fear not! You can get almost the same effect without all the trouble and inconvenience! We use basically the same recipe above, but make a Zombie-size portion. We mold that meat into the rough shape of a Zombie head on a cookie sheet. Add some spaghetti for hair, a few olives in the eye cavities and carve up some almonds for teeth.



We cook that up on the Oval for an hour or so at 325*.



I do recommend replacing the olives about midway through the cook as they can look a little too wizened. When you remove your Zombie, you may add a section of roasted red pepper for the tongue. Zombie is known as the other red meat, so pair this with a red wine:





Overall, this recipe for mock Zombie tastes as good or better than the real thing, without the effort or the stench.

To learn more about Zombies, you can visit the Throwdown section. Every week there is a new Throwdown, Voting, squirrels, and Zombies.
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Old 01-16-2012, 12:43 PM   #2
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Just creepy
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Old 01-16-2012, 12:55 PM   #3
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Gore, That is Outrageously Righteous!!!!
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Old 01-16-2012, 12:57 PM   #4
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It looks so real!
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:03 PM   #5
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I think I'll stick with the pork boobies.

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Old 01-16-2012, 01:11 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caseydog View Post
I think I'll stick with the pork boobies.

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Old 01-16-2012, 01:18 PM   #7
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Only from the mind of Gore could such a creation spring forth!
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:27 PM   #8
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As always Gordo, demented and a little odd

Thankfully, Sous Chef Squirrel was there to save you. The Ninja training is paying off.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:27 PM   #9
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That is freaking awesome!! My kids would get a kick out of seeing and eating that! I'd hit some Zombie!
Toooooo Cool!

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Old 01-16-2012, 01:30 PM   #10
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:32 PM   #11
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Thanks, I posted this thinking it would be great for a kid's birthday party or Halloween. It's a bit too scary for our kids, but we don't watch a lot of TV. In real life it looks every bit as gruesome as the photos. There are two cooks I've done that I think really disturbed my wife. This was one of them and the other was censored, but for completely different reasons.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:34 PM   #12
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I remember that one, it was impressive. Perhaps more scary in it's own way than this one.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:42 PM   #13
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Fanfarkingtastic!

You are a visionary!
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:49 PM   #14
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That is seriously the greatest thing ever!
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:50 PM   #15
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I googled zombie meatloaf and the one you made is far better then anything else I saw on line. Excellent creation Gore!
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