Worst Box Judged

Lake Dogs · Dec 9, 2009

SmokinOkie wanted this, so lets see how it goes. If you have pics of
that Q that came across the table that was so horrendous that it merits
a post, please do so. Otherwise, tell us what came across the table
that was so unbelievable that you couldn't believe someone actually
presented that entry at a cooking contest.

Lake Dogs · Dec 9, 2009

I'll start, MIM contest 2007, SweetWater Festival in Milledgeville, GA. Blind Ribs.

I must admit, blind ribs is my favorite IF the ribs are good. Was at a table with 5
entries, and when we opened the boxes one stood out, and I mean STOOD OUT.

It was obviously burned, but not so horrendous that I didn't actually pick up a piece.
Being as stoic as I could, I smelled it. WOW. This was some really bad Q. There
wasn't even a hint of overcooked seasoning, just plain old burned meat, with a nice
compliment of lighter fluid to accent the smell. I tugged and tugged at the bone(s)
to get it to pull apart. Wasn't going to happen. Ok, so much for tenderness and
smell. I should've stopped there and just given the 7 (MIM scoring). Nope, I'm an
honorable judge and do my damnedest to get a bite. I gnawed at it and finally was
able to get a small chunck of burned something to come off of the bone. Two chomps
into this gristle and I HAD to spit it out. I quickly, however as subtly as I could,
brought my napkin to my mouth and disposed of it. It was then, as I was trying to
place the napkin back in my lap without being noticed that I looked up. All of the
other judges were looking at me, wide eyed... This was a genuine spitter. Noone else
actually put it in their mouth. They asked me afterwards, knowing I have dogs that
love bones, if I wanted the remainder of that for my dogs. Nope. I answered "I
wouldn't do that to my dogs".

I came away wondering what and why some people dont use any reason when putting
food in a turn-in box. If, for example, I'd had a BBQ at home and made this, whether
I had company over or not, it would've gone straight to the trash can and a phone
call made for pizza. WHY would you put that in a turn-in box?!?!?!!???? Apparently
there is no reasoning...

I've had some very tough ribs (undercooked) and some burned, but nothing in this
league.

Dustaway · Dec 9, 2009

I thought you were going to say that you had to like your dogs ARSE to get the taste out of you MOUTH!!!

chambersuac · Dec 9, 2009

the hazards of being a judge...glad you lived through it

SmokinOkie · Dec 9, 2009

Thanks for posting, don't have any photos, just boxes that I've judged.

Some turn-ins.

1) Box of ribs was upside down. All we saw was the lettuce. the number was on top for us to see.

2) A rack of ribs looking perfect, but they were bone side up AND they were all one rack (not sliced)

3) Got one pork box with the bone separated from the meat and one large chunk of pork

4) Got a brisket box FULL of chopped brisket only, but it was so burnt, we couldn't confirm what it was (and it actually looked like something a animal would leave

Have seen various pieces of foil, tape, toothpicks still connected/holding meat.

goodsmokebbq · Dec 9, 2009

You have no choice but to enter the ribs at a comp, can't order pizza and put it in the box...

Lake Dogs · Dec 9, 2009

SmokinOkie said:
Thanks for posting, don't have any photos, just boxes that I've judged.

Some turn-ins.

1) Box of ribs was upside down. All we saw was the lettuce. the number was on top for us to see.

2) A rack of ribs looking perfect, but they were bone side up AND they were all one rack (not sliced)

3) Got one pork box with the bone separated from the meat and one large chunk of pork

4) Got a brisket box FULL of chopped brisket only, but it was so burnt, we couldn't confirm what it was (and it actually looked like something a animal would leave

Have seen various pieces of foil, tape, toothpicks still connected/holding meat.

Tape?!? Wow.

<--- thinks to himself, at time to put ribs in box, hears:

Honey, these ribs are falling apart. Fetch me the duct tape, will 'ya?!!!

Twice I've turned in ribs that perhaps needed tape to keep them from
falling apart. Luckily I'd already tasted them, and ends up they scored
middle-of-the-pack both times, one scored well enough to allow me to
get RGC. So, yes, they were turned in sans duct tape.... Tape, really?

Skip · Dec 9, 2009

SmokinOkie said:
3) Got one pork box with the bone separated from the meat and one large chunk of pork

Excellent someone who actually adhered to the rule as its written.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

PORK: Pork is defined as Boston Butt, Picnic and/or
Whole Shoulder, weighing a minimum of five (5) pounds.
Pork shall be cooked (bone in or bone out) and shall not be

parted.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Was it cooked? Not parted? Heck thats 9's across the board from me. Please tell me that the piece you received looked like it could've been 5 lbs. before cooking.

goodsmokebbq · Dec 9, 2009

Skip said:
Excellent someone who actually adhered to the rule as its written.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

PORK: Pork is defined as Boston Butt, Picnic and/or
Whole Shoulder, weighing a minimum of five (5) pounds.
Pork shall be cooked (bone in or bone out) and shall not be

parted.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Was it cooked? Not parted? Heck thats 9's across the board from me. Please tell me that the piece you received looked like it could've been 5 lbs. before cooking.

Easy...

Lake Dogs · Dec 9, 2009

goodsmokebbq said:
You have no choice but to enter the ribs at a comp, can't order pizza and put it in the box...

Honestly, whether it's personal pride and you just dont turn that in, or
the concern for the health of your fellow citizen, this shouldn't make it
even in a box to be turned in. Turn in an empty box if you had to. Me,
scoring 0 in KCBS (this was MIM though), you can only be DAL (Dead Ass
Last), and these were definitely DAL caliber, to the tune of DAL of all
contests in the region for an entire year DAL. I would've hoped they'd
had enough personal pride to just throw those away. Honestly, we've
all made grill mistakes here and there.

Personal Experience with thowing away $100 in meat:

We had a next-day party after my 2nd wedding a few years back. I had
many requests for my competition pulled pork that has done pretty well
'round these parts. Long story, one I will NOT share, but those pork
butts and 2 nice fresh hams all went into the garbage, and I mean ALL
of them... Napping, at the wrong time, when using a stick burner, ala.
that doofus on the BBQ PitMasters show, can be disasterous!!!! Recall,
this is the night after my wedding... Oh well, the hamburgers were
very good....

monty3777 · Dec 9, 2009

Skip said:
Excellent someone who actually adhered to the rule as its written.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

PORK: Pork is defined as Boston Butt, Picnic and/or
Whole Shoulder, weighing a minimum of five (5) pounds.
Pork shall be cooked (bone in or bone out) and shall not be
parted.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Was it cooked? Not parted? Heck thats 9's across the board from me. Please tell me that the piece you received looked like it could've been 5 lbs. before cooking.

Now that's funny!

Divemaster · Dec 9, 2009

Skip said:
Excellent someone who actually adhered to the rule as its written.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

PORK: Pork is defined as Boston Butt, Picnic and/or
Whole Shoulder, weighing a minimum of five (5) pounds.
Pork shall be cooked (bone in or bone out) and shall not be

parted.
------------------------------------------------------------------

Was it cooked? Not parted? Heck thats 9's across the board from me. Please tell me that the piece you received looked like it could've been 5 lbs. before cooking.

Sorry bud... Automatic DQ... Only one serving...

Skip · Dec 9, 2009

goodsmokebbq said:
Easy...

Sorry I was just so excited to hear that someone had actually followed the rule to the letter. I had always wondered if it was possible. I raised this question once and no one was able to say it was possible. Now, with this info, we know its at least feasible.

goodsmokebbq · Dec 9, 2009

Honestly, whether it's personal pride and you just dont turn that in, or
the concern for the health of your fellow citizen, this shouldn't make it
even in a box to be turned in. Turn in an empty box if you had to. Me,
scoring 0 in KCBS (this was MIM though), you can only be DAL (Dead Ass
Last), and these were definitely DAL caliber, to the tune of DAL of all
contests in the region for an entire year DAL. I would've hoped they'd
had enough personal pride to just throw those away. Honestly, we've
all made grill mistakes here and there.

Personal Experience with thowing away $100 in meat:

We had a next-day party after my 2nd wedding a few years back. I had
many requests for my competition pulled pork that has done pretty well
'round these parts. Long story, one I will NOT share, but those pork
butts and 2 nice fresh hams all went into the garbage, and I mean ALL
of them... Napping, at the wrong time, when using a stick burner, ala.
that doofus on the BBQ PitMasters show, can be disasterous!!!! Recall,
this is the night after my wedding... Oh well, the hamburgers were
very good....

I hear ya, and I think most would not turn in something that bad. Some don't have a clue when it comes to cooking in general, let alone BBQ. Like this Paul guy, no self respecting "superstar" chef would turn in that crap, period. This guy is supposed to be some sort of grill master, yet he burner the heck out of that poor chicken. I know many chefs that can't BBQ a bit, but they can sure grill some GREAT chicken.

Divemaster · Dec 9, 2009

Lake Dogs said:
Honestly, whether it's personal pride and you just dont turn that in, or
the concern for the health of your fellow citizen, this shouldn't make it
even in a box to be turned in. Turn in an empty box if you had to. Me,
scoring 0 in KCBS (this was MIM though), you can only be DAL (Dead Ass
Last), and these were definitely DAL caliber, to the tune of DAL of all
contests in the region for an entire year DAL. I would've hoped they'd
had enough personal pride to just throw those away. Honestly, we've
all made grill mistakes here and there.

Personal Experience with thowing away $100 in meat:

We had a next-day party after my 2nd wedding a few years back. I had
many requests for my competition pulled pork that has done pretty well
'round these parts. Long story, one I will NOT share, but those pork
butts and 2 nice fresh hams all went into the garbage, and I mean ALL
of them... Napping, at the wrong time, when using a stick burner, ala.
that doofus on the BBQ PitMasters show, can be disasterous!!!! Recall,
this is the night after my wedding... Oh well, the hamburgers were
very good....

At least you had a better excuse than the doofus....

Skip · Dec 9, 2009

Divemaster said:
Sorry bud... Automatic DQ... Only one serving...

But then most boxes would be DQ'd since they put a mound of pork in the center. Not distinguishable portions just a mound and no DQ. Is that really any different?

goodsmokebbq · Dec 9, 2009

Skip said:
Sorry I was just so excited to hear that someone had actually followed the rule to the letter. I had always wondered if it was possible. I raised this question once and no one was able to say it was possible. Now, with this info, we know its at least feasible.

More evidence for the case, I see you doing your homework

.

Skip · Dec 9, 2009

goodsmokebbq said:
More evidence for the case, I see you doing your homework .

Shhhh you'll blow my cover. I'm incognito. :icon_cool:icon_cool:icon_cool

goodsmokebbq · Dec 9, 2009

Skip said:
Shhhh you'll blow my cover. I'm incognito. :icon_cool:icon_cool:icon_cool

:icon_shy:icon_shy:icon_shy

Divemaster · Dec 9, 2009

Not to hijack but....

goodsmokebbq said:
I hear ya, and I think most would not turn in something that bad. Some don't have a clue when it comes to cooking in general, let alone BBQ. Like this Paul guy, no self respecting "superstar" chef would turn in that crap, period. This guy is supposed to be some sort of grill master, yet he burner the heck out of that poor chicken. I know many chefs that can't BBQ a bit, but they can sure grill some GREAT chicken.

That was his problem... He's a Grill Master when what he needed was a Pit Master...

(OK, side note... When dip stick was about to start his drive he introduced his wife and friend who were there to 'help him'... Some help, they didn't know how to load up the cooker???)

Worst Box Judged

Quintessential Chatty Farker

Quintessential Chatty Farker

is one Smokin' Farker

somebody shut me the fark up.

is one Smokin' Farker

is one Smokin' Farker

Quintessential Chatty Farker

is Blowin Smoke!

is one Smokin' Farker

Quintessential Chatty Farker

is Blowin Smoke!

somebody shut me the fark up.

is Blowin Smoke!

is one Smokin' Farker

somebody shut me the fark up.

is Blowin Smoke!

is one Smokin' Farker

is Blowin Smoke!

is one Smokin' Farker

somebody shut me the fark up.

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