Reds vs. Russets

bigabyte · 12-10-2010, 01:20 PM

Normally my potatoes all get along very well. However, the "Battle Potato" Throwdown has drawn lines between them and this morning I found my Red Potatoes and Russet Potatoes were on the brink of war!

Here you can see how eager they are to fight each other to the death. You could have cut the tension in the air with a knife!

The Russets were a crafty lot. They wanted to surprise the Reds with a brand new secret weapon never seen before in the Throwdowns! So first they chose to split up...

...and took up fortified positions.

The Russets negotiated additional support from the Bacon Berets, who took up positions near the Russets.

The Reds planned to hit the Russets right between the eyes with a proven winning Throwdown recipe! To achieve this they first had to reorganize and cut their units down to a smaller size.

This allowed them to spread out quickly and get the job done faster.

The Reds brought in help from their allies. Red Onions have long been an ally of Red Potatoes...

...and so have Apples. You see, in French a potato is called "Pomme de Terre" which is literally translated as "Apple of the ground". So here are the "Potatoes of the Air" that were brought in to help. Notice they are also red.

Germany (gotta get their help) provided the Reds with some Sauerkraut and Sausage support.

Some Brown Sugar and Caraway Seeds were added in for sustenance.

Then they all deployed in an armored personnel carrier to cross-train together until they became like one grand fighting machine!

A while later, the Russets brought in another component of their new secret weapon, the Cabbage Cavalry! As you can see, the Red forces were surrounded at this time, but both sides had agreed ahead of time for the battle to take place on the field called "Chinet", and not here on the grill.

A short while later, the Russets made boats, obviously their strategy was to attack by sea!

The Russets then fully integrated their potato forces with the Cabbage Cavalry, Bacon Berets, Scallion Squadron, some butter and hot milk...

...then they assembled their combined military might onto the boats!

The Reds, seeing the boats aproaching, quickly deployed into battle formation.

The Russets opened up their butter wells at the top of their boats releasing parsley flake chaff to confuse the enemy, and awaited the order...

Fire the Colcannon!!!

As you can see, these two mighty culinary forces were now fully engaged in an epic potato battle!

The losses on both sides mounted!

In the end, there were no survivors! Absolutely nothing was left! Both sides were completely destroyed! All that could be found was the partial remains of a burnt out potato boat hull.

Despite this grizzly outcome, there was a clear winner...ME! This battle was absolutely delicious. In fact, I have initiated covert false flag operations to try and get the beef ribs and pork ribs to declare war on each other.

FattyMac · 12-10-2010, 01:28 PM

You sir, are my hero!

Smokey Al Gold · 12-10-2010, 01:32 PM

War is hell but those are some farkin fine looking potatoes!

Babyboomerboy · 12-10-2010, 01:47 PM

What a great story. Thanks for sharing.

deguerre · 12-10-2010, 01:58 PM

I was waiting for this. I have NOT been disappointed!

Now where have I seen kraut, apples and sausage before?

The addition of the potatos and carraway seeds is now something I have to try.

Take a bow Chris!

fatguyputter · 12-10-2010, 02:13 PM

Very creative. A true classic. Wow do I have a ways to go in the creativity department. Great Job!

Smokin Mike · 12-10-2010, 02:20 PM

wow chris, nice meal and a play by play story!

bigabyte · 12-10-2010, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deguerre

Now where have I seen kraut, apples and sausage before?

The Reds saw the awesome power of your dish, and decided to use that because it had already been proven to be a winner. Well, that and the fact that I was never able to get the image of your dish fully out of my head. It had to be done.

Groundhog66 · 12-10-2010, 02:22 PM

Yummy, I'll have a plate of that please.

1_T_Scot · 12-10-2010, 02:30 PM

Mmmm That was a great looking battle! You are the Winner of that War.

Gore · 12-10-2010, 02:51 PM

I just love a happy ending. This is a mouth-watering pic (hint, hint

):

Alan in Ga · 12-10-2010, 03:02 PM

Great looking spud war you had there Glad there we no survivors...

chambersuac · 12-10-2010, 03:11 PM

I have lowered my napkin to half staff in honor of their sacrifice. Long live the potato!

caseydog · 12-10-2010, 04:38 PM

MAKE FOOD, NOT WAR!

All we are asking, is give peas a chance.

CD

Jiga · 12-10-2010, 04:45 PM

Very well done

12-10-2010, 01:20 PM	#1
bigabyte somebody shut me the fark up. Join Date: 05-10-06 Location: Overland Fark, KS	Reds vs. Russets Normally my potatoes all get along very well. However, the "Battle Potato" Throwdown has drawn lines between them and this morning I found my Red Potatoes and Russet Potatoes were on the brink of war! Here you can see how eager they are to fight each other to the death. You could have cut the tension in the air with a knife! The Russets were a crafty lot. They wanted to surprise the Reds with a brand new secret weapon never seen before in the Throwdowns! So first they chose to split up... ...and took up fortified positions. The Russets negotiated additional support from the Bacon Berets, who took up positions near the Russets. The Reds planned to hit the Russets right between the eyes with a proven winning Throwdown recipe! To achieve this they first had to reorganize and cut their units down to a smaller size. This allowed them to spread out quickly and get the job done faster. The Reds brought in help from their allies. Red Onions have long been an ally of Red Potatoes... ...and so have Apples. You see, in French a potato is called "Pomme de Terre" which is literally translated as "Apple of the ground". So here are the "Potatoes of the Air" that were brought in to help. Notice they are also red. Germany (gotta get their help) provided the Reds with some Sauerkraut and Sausage support. Some Brown Sugar and Caraway Seeds were added in for sustenance. Then they all deployed in an armored personnel carrier to cross-train together until they became like one grand fighting machine! A while later, the Russets brought in another component of their new secret weapon, the Cabbage Cavalry! As you can see, the Red forces were surrounded at this time, but both sides had agreed ahead of time for the battle to take place on the field called "Chinet", and not here on the grill. A short while later, the Russets made boats, obviously their strategy was to attack by sea! The Russets then fully integrated their potato forces with the Cabbage Cavalry, Bacon Berets, Scallion Squadron, some butter and hot milk... ...then they assembled their combined military might onto the boats! The Reds, seeing the boats aproaching, quickly deployed into battle formation. The Russets opened up their butter wells at the top of their boats releasing parsley flake chaff to confuse the enemy, and awaited the order... Fire the Colcannon!!! As you can see, these two mighty culinary forces were now fully engaged in an epic potato battle! The losses on both sides mounted! In the end, there were no survivors! Absolutely nothing was left! Both sides were completely destroyed! All that could be found was the partial remains of a burnt out potato boat hull. Despite this grizzly outcome, there was a clear winner...ME! This battle was absolutely delicious. In fact, I have initiated covert false flag operations to try and get the beef ribs and pork ribs to declare war on each other. __________________ Asshattatron Farkanaut, CGCFO Chief Galactic Crockpot Foil Officer *Certified MOINK Baller & IMBAS Certified MOINK Ball Judge #0003 - Are you MOINK Certified?* *Sole recipient of the Silverfinger and fingerlickin Awards!* Don't forget about the Throwdown Thingies! The Secret Squirrel Society doesn't exist - Zero Club Duh. Last edited by bigabyte; 12-10-2010 at 02:45 PM..

12-10-2010, 01:28 PM	#2
FattyMac Full Fledged Farker Join Date: 05-06-10 Location: Niagara Region, Canada	You sir, are my hero! __________________ Large BGE; KBQ; Blackstone Griddle; Napoleon Gasser; RecTec WYLDSIDE

12-10-2010, 01:32 PM	#3
Smokey Al Gold is Blowin Smoke! Join Date: 08-13-08 Location: San Antonio TX	War is hell but those are some farkin fine looking potatoes! __________________ 22.5 OTG, 18.5 SJP (modded), 14.5 SJS, Weber Q 100, TX Longhorn Camper grill TL 21 [URL="http://www.elcapoteranch.com"]www.elcapoteranch.com[/URL] [URL="http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/group.php?groupid=39"]ZERO[/URL] Club Member (2) Creator of: "The Great Chicken Sammich Debacle of 2010"

12-10-2010, 01:47 PM	#4
Babyboomerboy is one Smokin' Farker Join Date: 10-28-08 Location: Frontenac, Kansas	What a great story. Thanks for sharing. __________________ CBJ #31626 UDS Lots of Weber Grills Traeger Texas Pellet Grill My cooking blog [URL]http://babyboomerboyscookinblog.blogspot.com/[/URL]

12-10-2010, 01:58 PM	#5
deguerre somebody shut me the fark up. Join Date: 07-15-09 Location: Memphis, TN...Formerly of Decatur, AL	I was waiting for this. I have NOT been disappointed! Now where have I seen kraut, apples and sausage before? The addition of the potatos and carraway seeds is now something I have to try. Take a bow Chris! __________________ Guerry [FONT=Book Antiqua]Pit Beeatch for Team Munchkin[/FONT] [FONT=Book Antiqua][B]Avatar by Northwest BBQ [/B][/FONT]"...In nature, there are predators. I believe the common denominator of the universe is not harmony, but chaos, hostility and murder..." Werner Herzog

12-10-2010, 02:13 PM	#6
fatguyputter On the road to being a farker Join Date: 04-21-10 Location: Hutchinson, KS	Very creative. A true classic. Wow do I have a ways to go in the creativity department. Great Job!

12-10-2010, 02:20 PM	#7
Smokin Mike is One Chatty Farker Join Date: 09-06-07 Location: St. Johns, FL	wow chris, nice meal and a play by play story! __________________ Disco Pigs competition team Gateway drums Yoder 640 and 1500 FEC-100's KCBS, FBA Judge

12-10-2010, 02:22 PM	#9
Groundhog66 Babbling Farker Join Date: 08-20-10 Location: Livermore, CA Name/Nickname : Tim	Yummy, I'll have a plate of that please. __________________ Backwoods Party G2 MAK 1 Star XL BGE SM BGE Weber 26" & JJ Blackstone 36" & 22" Brick Santa Maria Pit

12-10-2010, 02:30 PM	#10
1_T_Scot is Blowin Smoke! Join Date: 06-03-08 Location: Pontiac Illinois	Mmmm That was a great looking battle! You are the Winner of that War. __________________ Certified "MOINK" ball maker. Supporting Disabled Veterans. Link Removed. Diveheart .org Large Big Green Egg - Fathers Day 2009

12-10-2010, 02:51 PM	#11
Gore Phizzy Join Date: 10-05-08 Location: Hiding out from blood suck ghost snake gods, Nazis and scrap iron chefs trying to harvest body parts Name/Nickname : Gore (surprise!)	I just love a happy ending. This is a mouth-watering pic (hint, hint ): __________________ Assistant to a Mad BBQ Scientist (and a squirrel): Primo Oval XL, Small Offset, Gasser, Optigrill, UBS "I love everything about the pig, even the way she walks." -- Spanish proverb (\__/) (='.'=) This is the rabbit baby. Invests him in yours signature, (")_(") and the help rabbit baby takes over control of the world! Hmmmm, I wonder, WWGALD? Avatar courtesy of Grillman and NorthwestBBQ Promoted by Bigabyte to "Idiot #1" , and dubbed "Phizzy" by Sir Ron.

12-10-2010, 03:02 PM	#12
Alan in Ga is One Chatty Farker Join Date: 12-19-09 Location: Macon,Ga	Great looking spud war you had there Glad there we no survivors... __________________ NB Black Diamond, 57 Smokehouse BBQ Team [URL="http://www.57smokehouse.blogspot.com/"]www.57smokehouse.blogspot.com/[/URL] Certified GBA Judge/Competetior [SIZE=3]Golden Goose Egg(4 Times Certified)[/SIZE] [SIZE=3]Stumps 223 ,2 UDS,NB Hondo[/SIZE]

12-10-2010, 03:11 PM	#13
chambersuac somebody shut me the fark up. Join Date: 04-02-09 Location: San Antonio, TX	I have lowered my napkin to half staff in honor of their sacrifice. Long live the potato! __________________ Dan IMBAS Certified MOINK Ball maker and IMBAS Sgt. At Arms. And now, brethren, I commend you to God, and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up, and to give you an inheritance among all them which are sanctified. [Acts 20:32 KJV]

12-10-2010, 04:38 PM	#14
caseydog somebody shut me the fark up. Join Date: 07-08-10 Location: Texas	MAKE FOOD, NOT WAR! All we are asking, is give peas a chance. CD

12-10-2010, 04:45 PM	#15
Jiga Is lookin for wood to cook with. Join Date: 11-17-10 Location: Ocala FL	Very well done __________________ I have pigs, chickens, turkeys and a new to me Bandera. I am ready to have some fun!!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Reds BBQ...South/North Carolina...Cool Video	Philly-QueMaster	Q-talk	2	04-20-2010 10:07 PM
chipotle garden - the harvest continues, 40 reds	Rick's Tropical Delight	Q-talk	13	08-25-2009 09:58 AM
Reds, Whites, and BBQ Festival	Neil	Competition BBQ	4	05-10-2006 10:32 AM