BBQ Brethren "Cook Like a Bigabyte" Throwdown

[bigabyte]

Our new category is...

"Cook Like a Bigabyte!"

This could get ugly...

...as chosen by Gore, the winner of the Mini Throwdown!

Gore sent along some special rules...

Originally Posted by Gore

"Cook like a Bigabyte"

Food inspired by the Mad BBQ Scientist himself. Whether it be a pecan-pie fattie, an all-American burger, a brisket or some other tasty invention, this should be inspired by or be something you can imagine Bigabyte himself creating.

To add further confusion, we will have a whole list of special rules to make this extra, extra special. With any luck, this will cause people never to have special rules to Throwdowns ever again. And if you think this is confusing, well, that is part of the whole experience!
So, here they are:
1. Write-ups are a big part of the Bigabyte experience. Voters should consider the write-up when casting their votes. Consider highly detailed descriptions and rants.
2. Pictures: you can never have too many!

To make this extra fun, let's modify the votes themselves. Apply any and all of the following special vote additives, or I like to think of them as "Shoots and Ladders" votes to the following:
1. Bigabyte loves eggplant, so any dish containing eggplant shall receive 10 bonus votes.
2. Bigabyte loves Spam, so any dish containing Spam shall receive 5 additional votes (note if the dish is Spam and Eggplant, you get a 15 vote bonus!).
3. Bigabyte submits early. One bonus vote for each day the dish is submitted before the deadline.
4. Bigabyte doesn't log in much on weekends, so -3 votes for submitting on a weekend.
5. Brisket handicap. Bigabyte's Hot and Fast brisket is too tasty, so -5 votes for submitting brisket, just to make it fair.
6. Bigabyte is a bit odd, so add 3 votes if the vote total is an odd number.
7. Aluminum foil. If foil is used in the final pic, add 4 votes.
8. Pics of cute kids: add 2 votes -- no, they don't have to be yours.
9. Even keel: We never know what to expect from Bigabyte, so if the vote total is even then it is definitely not Bigabyte inspired, and you go directly to zero and join the Zero's Club!

Looks pretty straightforward to me! In case it seems perplexing, I will do my best to confuse you even more!

What I am going to do is take Gore's special rules, and for each entry I will award (or penalize depending on your perspective) two sets of BONUS POINTS.

The first will be called "FOIL POINTS", and will be the bonus points (positive or negative) awarded to your entry that can be determined before voting starts. I will post the "FOIL POINTS" for each entry in this thread before putting up the vote thread so you know how many you will receive ahead of time.

The second set of bonus points will be called "SQUIRREL POINTS". These bonus points can not be determined until voting ends, and I will add them to your final score (after adjusting for FOIL POINTS) to give you your final vote total. I will then post the total number of adjusted points.

Please note that FOIL POINTS will count first, and be applied in numerical order as listed in Gore's rules. SQUIRREL POINTS will be applied after voting is finished, in numerical order as listed in Gore's rules.

This Throwdown will have two ways to win. One is by your regular vote total, as tallied by the votes. The second way to win (and perhaps better way depending on your perspective) is to have the highest number of adjusted points. If this results in more than one person winning, that is fine, you will share the victory and pick the next category together.

I am also going to open this one up IMMEDIATELY for two reasons. The first is to give you a leg up on rule #3, the other reason is that I will be at the Royal this weekend and may not be able to change this one and open it up on Friday as usual.

Otherwise, normal TD rules apply!

Any questions, too bad! I'll be happy to not answer them.

Click here to read the rules for the BBQ Brethren Throwdown...

You may submit entries that are cooked from today 9/27 through Sunday 10/9.

Entry pictures must be submitted by Midnight Central US Time on Sunday night 10/9.

By submitting entry photos to this Throwdown thread you are agreeing that you have read and understand the Throwdown Rules.

The voting will begin Monday 10/10 after I submit the "Vote" thread and will run through Saturday 10/15. All votes will be public.

Don't forget, you can still enter the Pizza Throwdown until Sunday night 10/2 by midnight Central time.

Our next category will be decided by the winner of the In a Shell Throwdown!

Best of luck and even better eats to all!

[colonel00]

I don't get it Glad I am out of town. Then again I just might surprise you as I do have a can of SPAM and I could get some foil to cook while I am in the wilderness.

[Redhot]

I'll be sitting this one out, I mean daaayum. I not only did a trial run for flavor/ingredients, then brought out the big guns and used fancy veggies and expensive sea scallops but even posted the recipe which was my own (something I've never done before) and I'm tied with a SPAM moink ball wrapped and grilled in a tortilla...oh, and only one vote ahead of a garage floor, broken door knob, dented foil pan fiasco? Sheesh...guess I need to think more "man-hungry".

[Al Czervik]

I may be the only one on the short bus who doesn't undertstand this part:

"The first will be called "FOIL POINTS", and will be the bonus points (positive or negative) awarded to your entry that can be determined before voting starts. I will post the "FOIL POINTS" for each entry in this thread before putting up the vote thread so you know how many you will receive ahead of time.

The second set of bonus points will be called "SQUIRREL POINTS". These bonus points can not be determined until voting ends, and I will add them to your final score (after adjusting for FOIL POINTS) to give you your final vote total. I will then post the total number of adjusted points.

Please note that FOIL POINTS will count first, and be applied in numerical order as listed in Gore's rules. SQUIRREL POINTS will be applied after voting is finished, in numerical order as listed in Gore's rules."

I think I get how the FOIL POINTS work (plus four or minus 4), but how the fark do the SQUIRREL POINTS work? Are those the eggplant and spam points????

And what the fark time does the train leave Chicago, and what is the headwind it's running against? Holy chit... Where's the Tylenol?

[brewerjamie15]

I'm confused. I really think that I'm going to need a long time out and maybe a couple beers to figure out what I'm going to do for this thing.

[bigabyte]

SQUIRREL POINTS are rules 6 and 9 in the list of Gore's Rules. The rest are FOIL POINTS.

You need to sit up front where I can keep a close eye on you.

[caseydog]

Fark it, I am on the phone right now looking for bulls with really sharp horns. I suggest we enter whatever the fark we want for the throwdown, then load a bigass cooler full of beer and watch the bulls chase biggie and Gore around a fenced-in area, and put their horns into whatever orifices they chose.

Anyone with me?

CD

[caseydog]

Originally Posted by brewerjamie15

I'm confused. I really think that I'm going to need a long time out and maybe a couple beers to figure out what I'm going to do for this thing.

Trust me, alcohol will not help you understand this throwdown. I am WAY past a couple of beers, and I don't get it.

CD

[Redhot]

Am I the only one who thinks this TD is already too complicated? Or am I simply too female to figure out how simple all these rules actually are? I'm sure it's the latter.

[caseydog]

Originally Posted by Redhot

I'll be sitting this one out, I mean daaayum. I not only did a trial run for flavor/ingredients, then brought out the big guns and used fancy veggies and expensive sea scallops but even posted the recipe which was my own (something I've never done before) and I'm tied with a SPAM moink ball wrapped and grilled in a tortilla...oh, and only one vote ahead of a garage floor, broken door knob, dented foil pan fiasco? Sheesh...guess I need to think more "man-hungry".

I feel bad that you are only one vote ahead of a meal that did time on the floor of my garage. That is truly just plain wrong, but then again, some righteous wings and crispy fried pickles shouldn't get a zero, so life is clearly not fair.

For this misguided throwdown, I would suggest that you toss any ideas you may have at making something edible by normal people out the window, and focus on making something so weird that normal humans, or at the least, humans currently taking their meds, would not think of eating it.

CD

[caseydog]

Originally Posted by Redhot

Am I the only one who thinks this TD is already too complicated? Or am I simply too female to figure out how simple all these rules actually are? I'm sure it's the latter.

Gore made the rules, so in the spirit of Gore, I think we can feel free to not read them, or bother to abide by them.

CD

[brewerjamie15]

Originally Posted by caseydog

Gore made the rules, so in the spirit of Gore, I think we can feel free to not read them, or bother to abide by them.

CD

Perhaps I'll go that route. If beer won't help figure this out, then total denial and anarchy seems the way to go.

[bigabyte]

Well, how much time and effort do you think go into any of my creations? If you think it's a lot, you haven't been paying attention. They're usually just an idea that I figure I'll try and see if it works. Sometimes it's edible. Sometimes it isn't. It's always fun though.

Or you can rack your brains. Your call.

Or just cook anything...which pretty much is what this category is...wide open.

Not sure I can give much more guidance than that. Except to say that the voting on this one should be interesting considering the rules.

[Oldyote]

So if I submit a picture of my daughter holding eggplant and spam on a sheet of foil and post that picture by tomorrow I will get 32 votes. But if I end up getting no other votes I go back to zero because I would end up with an even number. Which would be oddly appropriate. Unless of course Bigabytes layered rules to the special rules somehow supersede the special rules and I ultimately end up living Gore's basement with Tattoo and Mr. Roarke . OK, I see the logic. Time to go to the store.

[brewerjamie15]

Well, look at it this way. You could always end up having to get a tattoo OF Mr. Roarke. That'd probably be worse.