What's your number one bbq / grilling no no?

fedex said:

Never EVER Hijack another guys Q unless you are asked. Last summer saw the same guy at 2 different get togethers walk in and take over. He just made things worse.

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I had the opposite problem. I took first in ribs at a local comp last fall. A few weeks ago this gut invites me over to a party he's throwing. He foiled the ribs the night before and is doing his whole cook foiled. Then, when they are "falling off the bone" he throws them on a gasser "for some color" and hits them with KC Masterpiece.

He keeps telling his guests that my ribs are "award-winning", but fails to mention that his ribs are not mine. I was trying to be polite, but made apoint of telling those who asked that I did mine differently.

David

Not wasting anymore time and money on stupid worthless tiny back ribs ever again!!!!!:mad2:

I will definitely not run outside in the middle of February in just my shorts, a tshirt, and a pair of sandels to do a quick temp check and shut the door behind me without making sure that it is unlocked. :doh:

I don't like lighter fluid.....Don't like trying to cook outside WITHOUT my music/ballgame on great outdoor speakers......tried an infared grill once:loco...but I guess the biggest NONO was trying to cook all these years BEFORE I knew about the Brethren......guess you can call it paying my dues...

I have so many, it's hard to say which one was the biggest. No-No's... lets see......

Probably my number 1 was getting over someone else's definition of low n slow; trying to make a masterpiece at a temperature that was unnaturally low, frankly way too slow, smothered the fire so it produced tons of billowy white creosote laden smoke, and producing bitter, over-smoked, dry pork crap.

1. I always brine poultry. Always, *always*, always. No exceptions.

2. I do not perpetuate myths, like:
-- Turn the meat over only once!
-- No peeking!
-- Don't use Cowboy charcoal!

Don't cut butter with a steak knife.





















While holding the butter in your left hand...:shock:

fedex said:

Never EVER Hijack another guys Q unless you are asked. Last summer saw the same guy at 2 different get togethers walk in and take over. He just made things worse.

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At the labor day cookout my friend had. My roommate was drunk and has a lady friend he was trying to impress. He came over while I was getting some ribs on and tried to tell me how to do it right. Keep in mind he still doesn't know how to operate my mini or my kettle (for smoking) to this day. I was about to punch him in his throat infront of his lady friend and the other 50 people that were in attendence.

I recently went to cook-out by a friend's house, and this guy comes out with a pan of par boiled (pre-cooked) chicken and ribs to put on the grill, I started to leave at that point but I was hungry, so I stayed. My #1 no no is never pre-cook anything, cook it 100% on the grill/smoker.

Probably mentioned 37 times already is boiling most any form of meat before it goes on the smoker. Some folk do not mind, but I do.

No matter how long you boil tri tip, it will never come out like pork ribs.

**EDIT** The only thing that might need to be boiled before it goes on the smoker, and even then I am unsure, is beef tongue. Somebody started a cook thread a while back, and I forget how they pre cooked it.

Never put four bags of lump in an untested firebox with all the vents wide open, it takes to long to get the smoker back down to temp when it all goes up at once:mad2::twitch:


ok the beer may have played a role in that

My #1 no-no is not firing up the grill or smoker - or both - on a day off.

Don't break your smoker just as spring is finally heating up.

dwfisk said:

Not to long ago we had a little get-to-gether for 30-40 highschoolers at the farm. I had a hot pit from doing briskets & butts all day and just wanted to trow some chicken quarters on for a couple hours to round out the menu but when I pulled it out at the appointed time it was still partially frozen. I said what the hay, seasoned it up and me the DA threw it on. WTF:doh: There was so much moisture still held in the partially frozen 1/4's it started to "rain" in the pit then instantly hit the hot RF plate and turned into an UGLY steam/smoke that I could not control and could not get the pit back to temp for an hour. What a friggin mess; the 1/4's cooked but had a "black sooty" appearance that wiped off as soon as you touched it and the skin was the consistency of a rubber glove. I was to embarrased to serve it and to cheap to pitch it so it went into a pan and back into the fridge. Couple days later, wiped off all the gunk, stripped of the skin and broke down all the useable meat. Wife used some in an enchilada pie (pretty darn tasty) and the rest went to chicken salad (not bad at all). Lesson learned, gonna make darn sure chicks are fully defrosted and dried out in the future!

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HA! This happened to me very recently. partially frozen thighs my dad brought over for a family cookout. After everyone started getting hungry, I was like "screw it, they'll defrost in the smoker," these things were covered with black sooty slime. I didn't quite know the science of what happened but I did assume it was from them being frozen. Still tasted pretty good though after a good wiping. is that gross?

kds9547 said:

My #1 no-no is not firing up the grill or smoker - or both - on a day off.

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+1 I wish my wife understood the primal need to cook over fire. Sometimes she'll want to "go out to eat" or worse, cook something in the oven :crazy:

Mine is being impatient or rushing the cook. Flat out not allocating enough time

TIMMAY said:

Probably mentioned 37 times already is boiling most any form of meat before it goes on the smoker. Some folk do not mind, but I do.

No matter how long you boil tri tip, it will never come out like pork ribs.

**EDIT** The only thing that might need to be boiled before it goes on the smoker, and even then I am unsure, is beef tongue. Somebody started a cook thread a while back, and I forget how they pre cooked it.

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Reminds me of the time my MIL asked to me grill chicken for her family, and she would provide the chicken. She brought me a pot of boiled chicken, I looked at my wife and asked "what does she want me to do with this, make chicken and dumplings"

Never Ever...

Roll your smoker into the garage, even when it has been "out for hours" and you think it might snow. :doh:

93vpmod said:

Roll your smoker into the garage, even when it has been "out for hours" and you think it might snow. :doh:

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Can burn a house down that way

Worst OOOOOOPS:

July 3rd, 2008. I'd had wonderful success BBQing fresh hams in my small brinkmann
stillwater smoker. The next day was my 2nd wedding and we were to have BBQ at
the party afterwards. No problem, I'll BBQ a couple of nice hams and we're good to
go. 50# of smoked meat.... Mmmmmmmmm.

F A I L

I really couldn't go to my own wedding on no sleep. Rather than starting early,
cooking the hams to completion and putting them in a warmer until the next morning,
I'm not sure whether I was drunk or what, but the idea hit me to start the cook,
go catch a few hours of sleep while it's cooking, then get up and check the smoker,
etc. Did I mention: F A I L

When I got up I'd missed my alarm by a few hours. When I ran outside the
temperature of the cooker was 80 degrees. Yep, a complete die-out. 100% fail.
So, in a panic, and not yet completely awake, I have a great idea: Lets put them
in the oven (now that they're smoked) at 320 until they're good enough. Ok,
now we've added another level of FAIL. It didnt take but about 30 minutes for the
stench of 1000 rotting dead camels to infiltrate the entire house. The meat was
WAY beyond rancid. I had to remove the meat (allowing all of the wonderful aroma
to infiltrate the air in the house, put them in a doubled garbage bag and haul them
to the dump (no putting THIS in the trash can, I mean "make you vomit" stench).
All the time I'm dressed to get married and the preacher is due any minute. I ran to
the dump, stopped by Wally World on the way back and grabbed 50 lbs of hamburger
meat, and got back only to realize that I'd left the doors and windows shut in the
house. HOLY COW what a smell!!!?!?! It's now getting close to noon, on July 4th,
in the DEEEEEEEP south. Hot doesn't quite describe it; I think the temps were already
around 92 degrees and climbing. Anyway, I opened all the windows and doors and
turned on the attic fan. I met the preacher in the driveway and off to the wedding
we went (didnt want to subject him to that, plus he'd think I was an axe murderer
and that the bodies were stored neatly underneath the house).

Luckily, after we got home from being hitched the home had lost most of it's unique
appeal so that we could close the doors and windows back up and fire up the
A/C for the reception party.