Brisket, Butts and a friggin MESS!!!!

[Banjoe]

Ooooooooh maaaan. My ribs hurt.......thanks for sharing.

[pal251]

Originally Posted by BBQchef33

Ok.. I'm on a roll for the weekend. Got 2 14lb packer cuts and 2 8 lbs butts. Soaking in the DR P marinade tonight. They're hiutting the BYC tomorrow morning.. I'm in for the long haul.. maybe switching to the WSM after the 8 hour mark to finish up the briskets, but at the beginning I want to go all wood.

Now for the good stuff.. This is a crossover woodpile thread, but I'll move it later.. beware .. colorful language.

I made a big batch of Dr Pepper marinade figuring I'm marinanding 40+ lbs of meat... 2 liters of Dr pepper to start, a quart of franks, cider vinegar, can off beef stock, granulated onion and garlic, tony C's, emptied out the door of the fridge with 3-4 half empty bottles of different BBQ sauces.. and a few bottles of different hot sauces.. Cleaned out that fridge door!!!! COOl!!!! Made a nice gooey marinade...Put all this marinade in a plastic bag, doubled it up and put in the meats, pushed out the air and knotted the bag.. then rolled the stuff around in the bag to get everything nice and coated.. Damn that bag is friggin heavy.. probably klose to 50 Lbs. Using Glad kitchen garbage bags, doubled up(lets not start the food safe plastic debate again). Anyway.. got the bags in the sink, make room in the garage fridge to put the stuff. Pick up the bag and start makin my way to the fridge.. well you guess..


FARKING FWOOOOSSSHHHHHHHHH!!! The Farking bags split open!!!!!! Dont get mad, get Glad MY ASS. !!! They friggin exploded....I'm trying to catch the sh*t before it hits the floor.. its pouring down my farking legs.. ... all over the friggin kitchen floor 2 huge slabs of beef slide across the floor.. the butts bounce and make this sick splat sound.. splashing more sh*t on the cabinets... the farking marinade is running under the farking fridge.. the dam 2 dogs are standing in the marinade, lookin at me....the bird dog is eyeing the pork butts like its friggin pheasent. The sheperd is drinking the sh*t off the floor, im standing there cursing my farkin ass off, holding the bag by the knots and bottom, with this crap dripping between my fingers, totally dumbfounded.. and stamped my foot like a friggin pissed off child and splashed sh*t all over the walls.. My kids dont know wheather they should come help or run for farking cover.... FARK What a FARKIN MESS !!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!

Yeah.... Try moppin that sh*t up.. kitchen floor looked like a bear$hit at a murder scene.. meats got chucked into the sink... sh*t flowed under the fridge.. under the cabinets.. it was like baby$hit in a diaper, no matter where I looked, it was in another crevice somewhere.. .. i gave up with the mop and went for the shop vac.. sucked that crap up.. hosed down the floor with the sink sprayer.. sucked it up again.. moved the fridge.. sucked that up.. son of a bitch.. what a friggin mess.

And while all this was goin on.. whats goin thru my head.. i gotta take a picture of this to post.. I'm sure The Brethren will get a charge out of this crap.. Send kids for digital camera.. battery's dead. If anyone thinks I'd recreate this any time soon.. guess again..

Yup, made another batch of marinade.. but ran out of BBQ sauces.. had to open a new bottle. Everyone is tucked away in the fridge now.

Nice start to the weekend..

Maybe you need 5 gallon bucks you can stick all the meat into...or maybe three bags :)

I'm sorry that happened buddy that does sound terrible.

[firefighter4634]

At least the dogs seemed to enjoy your misfortune.

[samfsu]

Three words, 5 gallon bucket ;)

[caseydog]

Originally Posted by samfsu

Three words, 5 gallon bucket ;)

That's two words and a number.

CD

[tarhog]

When that turns out to be some of the best Que ever it will all be worth it. Classic post for sure. Thanks for sharing.

[silverfinger]

Originally Posted by nucornhusker

Since we are reviving classic threads today, some new members need to read the OP and #11 on this thread.

This still makes me laugh every time.

Thanks for pulling this up! I never herd this before and all I can say is I'm so glad it was not me.

I don't have the time to read the whole thread so can anyone answer this question?

Did the meat get cooked?

Perfect week to pull up this thread!

[westy]

O.K. Thats officially the farkin funniest post i've ever read.

[Pyle's BBQ]

Originally Posted by westy

O.K. Thats officially the farkin funniest post i've ever read.

Just think there are more threads like this lurking out there.

[Desert Hawg]

Durn, ya we me a farken' monitor an keyboard with that one .

[heatseeker]

I needed that gut buster....BWAHAHAHAHA

Only thing missing is some random person with fireworks for no apparent reason or one of your kids to treat it like a slip in slide!

[Pyle's BBQ]

For some light reading this evening. I am not responsible for any keyboards or laptops.

[smoke ninja]

I, for some strange reason, want to make dr. Pepper marinade now.


Oh and as a former 7-11 clerk biggies story really hit home for me.

[TuscaloosaQ]

I think i would have got in the corner in the fetal position and cried myself to sleep.... That sucked!!!!

[SmittyJonz]