Brisket, Butts and a friggin MESS!!!! - Page 6

firecracker jack · 09-16-2009, 02:43 PM

You might find this funny....But I didn't even laugh upon reading this...All I could do is imagine this happening to me....AARGGHH....What a farkin mess!...I truly feel for you bro'...

firecrackerjack

Ron_L · 09-16-2009, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by firecracker jack

You might find this funny....But I didn't even laugh upon reading this...All I could do is imagine this happening to me....AARGGHH....What a farkin mess!...I truly feel for you bro'...

firecrackerjack

I laughed. A lot. Especially with the parts about the dogs.

But, then again, I AM a sick bastidge!

igolf2 · 09-16-2009, 04:01 PM

Quote:

"Try moppin that sh*t up.. kitchen floor looked like a bear$hit at a murder scene.. meats got chucked into the sink... sh*t flowed under the fridge.. under the cabinets.. it was like baby$hit in a diaper"

Wife thinks I'm farkin crazy - laughing so hard that the tears are flowing - cleaning the laptop screen from spewed miller beer.

Sorry for your misfortune though - still funny as chit.

Paulmark · 09-16-2009, 05:05 PM

LMAO...feel for you, had blow outs before but not with food but with pretty gross stuff from water damaged remodels....switched to contractor bags from home depot.

chickenskinmusic · 09-16-2009, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbqchef33

ok.. I'm on a roll for the weekend. Got 2 14lb packer cuts and 2 8 lbs butts. Soaking in the dr p marinade tonight. They're hiutting the byc tomorrow morning.. I'm in for the long haul.. Maybe switching to the wsm after the 8 hour mark to finish up the briskets, but at the beginning i want to go all wood.

Now for the good stuff.. This is a crossover woodpile thread, but i'll move it later.. Beware .. Colorful language.

I made a big batch of dr pepper marinade figuring i'm marinanding 40+ lbs of meat... 2 liters of dr pepper to start, a quart of franks, cider vinegar, can off beef stock, granulated onion and garlic, tony c's, emptied out the door of the fridge with 3-4 half empty bottles of different bbq sauces.. And a few bottles of different hot sauces.. Cleaned out that fridge door!!!! Cool!!!! Made a nice gooey marinade...put all this marinade in a plastic bag, doubled it up and put in the meats, pushed out the air and knotted the bag.. Then rolled the stuff around in the bag to get everything nice and coated.. Damn that bag is friggin heavy.. Probably klose to 50 lbs. Using glad kitchen garbage bags, doubled up(lets not start the food safe plastic debate again). Anyway.. Got the bags in the sink, make room in the garage fridge to put the stuff. Pick up the bag and start makin my way to the fridge.. Well you guess..

Farking fwoooossshhhhhhhhh!!! The farking bags split open!!!!!! Dont get mad, get glad my ass. !!! They friggin exploded....i'm trying to catch the sh*t before it hits the floor.. Its pouring down my farking legs.. ... All over the friggin kitchen floor 2 huge slabs of beef slide across the floor.. The butts bounce and make this sick splat sound.. Splashing more sh*t on the cabinets... The farking marinade is running under the farking fridge.. The dam 2 dogs are standing in the marinade, lookin at me....the bird dog is eyeing the pork butts like its friggin pheasent. The sheperd is drinking the sh*t off the floor, im standing there cursing my farkin ass off, holding the bag by the knots and bottom, with this crap dripping between my fingers, totally dumbfounded.. And stamped my foot like a friggin pissed off child and splashed sh*t all over the walls.. My kids dont know wheather they should come help or run for farking cover.... Fark what a farkin mess !!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!

Yeah.... Try moppin that sh*t up.. Kitchen floor looked like a bear$hit at a murder scene.. Meats got chucked into the sink... Sh*t flowed under the fridge.. Under the cabinets.. It was like baby$hit in a diaper, no matter where i looked, it was in another crevice somewhere.. .. I gave up with the mop and went for the shop vac.. Sucked that crap up.. Hosed down the floor with the sink sprayer.. Sucked it up again.. Moved the fridge.. Sucked that up.. Son of a bitch.. What a friggin mess.

And while all this was goin on.. Whats goin thru my head.. I gotta take a picture of this to post.. I'm sure the brethren will get a charge out of this crap.. Send kids for digital camera.. Battery's dead. If anyone thinks i'd recreate this any time soon.. Guess again..

Yup, made another batch of marinade.. But ran out of bbq sauces.. Had to open a new bottle. Everyone is tucked away in the fridge now.

Nice start to the weekend..

roflmfarkingassoff!!

BBQchef33 · 09-16-2009, 08:07 PM

i still laugh at this.. and when we re-did the kitchen last year and tore out the cabinets, there it was........ a marinade stain on the plywood.

Jaberwabee · 09-16-2009, 08:10 PM

Its one of the funniest things I have ever read on here.

09-16-2009, 08:22 PM

you picked them up and tossed them on the smoker, right?

BBQchef33 · 09-16-2009, 08:44 PM

well... yeah, but after a good soak in a new batch of marinade. :)

fivelombardis · 09-16-2009, 09:01 PM

damn phil...do you realize that was SIX years ago already!

Kubbie · 09-16-2009, 10:51 PM

What?! Admins get a pass on the -no-pics-didn't-happen rule?? ...Batteries dead...

Although, I'd get an earful from the old lady if I was lookin' for a camera instead of the shop vac...

Nice to resurrect these oldies for us newbies to read for the 1st time.

BBQ Grail · 09-16-2009, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kubbie

What?! Admins get a pass on the -no-pics-didn't-happen rule?? ...Batteries dead...

Although, I'd get an earful from the old lady if I was lookin' for a camera instead of the shop vac...

Nice to resurrect these oldies for us newbies to read for the 1st time.

I don't believe he got a free pass...

Phil doesn't ever get a free pass.

BBQ Bandit · 09-16-2009, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BBQ Grail

I don't believe he got a free pass...

Phil doesn't ever get a free pass.

Was it paid back when he was wearing fuzzy slippers and his wife's houserobe tending the Bandera?

mrwicks · 09-16-2009, 11:39 PM

and i thought this only happened to me......used a beer based marinade for 50 slabs of ribs......gotta use garbage bags right....no way plastic wrap is gonna work....used the cheap ones and had seasoned beer all over the kitchen for months to come....haven't done a remodel so there may be more still

Phubar · 09-17-2009, 02:38 AM

"FARKING FWOOOOSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!"

I read that first and figured out where this was going!
Sorry man but it was farking funny!

09-16-2009, 08:07 PM	#81
BBQchef33 Grand Poobah and Site Admin Join Date: 08-11-03 Location: Long Island, NY Name/Nickname : Phil	i still laugh at this.. and when we re-did the kitchen last year and tore out the cabinets, there it was........ a marinade stain on the plywood. __________________ Site Administrator and Grand PooBah CBJ with a Fuzzy Blue Hat, 18 Foot Competition Trailer, Customized Klose BYC, Custom Built Shirley built to feed our Veterans(A.K.A "Abrams"), 1 Double Barreled Lang 84, 1 Heavily Modified Bionic Bandera, 1 Custom Super Medium Stickburning Spicewine w/stoker, 2 XL BGE, 1 Mini BGE, 2 Pit Barrel Cookers, 3 WSMs, 3 Weber Kettles, an NB Hondo, A Modified Brinkman Horizontal, DCS 48" Grill, a Broilmaster P3, a Blackstone 36 and 17, a covered, pellet pooping FEC100, and our duck died. :( News Flash: "A mans worth is judged by the weight of his integrity " You know your getting older when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy Smoke on KC. WWW.BBQ-BRETHREN.COM

09-16-2009, 08:10 PM	#82
Jaberwabee is One Chatty Farker Join Date: 11-21-06 Location: Wichita, KS	Its one of the funniest things I have ever read on here. __________________ Oct 2011 Update. (it changes) 2 WSM's 1 of each (18.5, 22.5) 2 UDS's Gone, (Brother in Law took them....FARKER) 1 Rib Machine Chargriller Pro Hella Mod (Retired) 2 Bubba Keg (One HOT MOTHER, One LOW N SLOW) 1 22" Performer Yoder YS-640 is the next cooking device.

09-16-2009, 08:44 PM	#84
BBQchef33 Grand Poobah and Site Admin Join Date: 08-11-03 Location: Long Island, NY Name/Nickname : Phil	well... yeah, but after a good soak in a new batch of marinade. :) __________________ Site Administrator and Grand PooBah CBJ with a Fuzzy Blue Hat, 18 Foot Competition Trailer, Customized Klose BYC, Custom Built Shirley built to feed our Veterans(A.K.A "Abrams"), 1 Double Barreled Lang 84, 1 Heavily Modified Bionic Bandera, 1 Custom Super Medium Stickburning Spicewine w/stoker, 2 XL BGE, 1 Mini BGE, 2 Pit Barrel Cookers, 3 WSMs, 3 Weber Kettles, an NB Hondo, A Modified Brinkman Horizontal, DCS 48" Grill, a Broilmaster P3, a Blackstone 36 and 17, a covered, pellet pooping FEC100, and our duck died. :( News Flash: "A mans worth is judged by the weight of his integrity " You know your getting older when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy Smoke on KC. WWW.BBQ-BRETHREN.COM

09-16-2009, 09:01 PM	#85
fivelombardis is one Smokin' Farker Join Date: 08-19-03 Location: TEXAS	damn phil...do you realize that was SIX years ago already! __________________ That boy just ain't right. Lone Star Grillz 24" Cabinet Smoker Lone Star Grillz 42" Pellet Smoker Lone Star Grillz 36" Fire Pit Pit Boss PBV6 PSE at our second home 36" Blackstone Griddle

09-16-2009, 11:39 PM	#89
mrwicks Knows what a fatty is. Join Date: 05-15-09 Location: Chicago IL South Side Go Cubs!!!	and i thought this only happened to me......used a beer based marinade for 50 slabs of ribs......gotta use garbage bags right....no way plastic wrap is gonna work....used the cheap ones and had seasoned beer all over the kitchen for months to come....haven't done a remodel so there may be more still __________________ Some WSMs,some OTG 22's,some OTG 18's, 1 26.75 OTG, 1 UDS Type...and a Smokey Joe

09-16-2009, 02:43 PM	#76
firecracker jack is one Smokin' Farker Join Date: 06-27-09 Location: belleville,mich.	You might find this funny....But I didn't even laugh upon reading this...All I could do is imagine this happening to me....AARGGHH....What a farkin mess!...I truly feel for you bro'... firecrackerjack

09-16-2009, 05:05 PM	#79
Paulmark is One Chatty Farker Join Date: 08-05-09 Location: Stockton CA	LMAO...feel for you, had blow outs before but not with food but with pretty gross stuff from water damaged remodels....switched to contractor bags from home depot.

09-16-2009, 08:22 PM	#83
Rick's Tropical Delight Guest	you picked them up and tossed them on the smoker, right?

09-16-2009, 10:51 PM	#86
Kubbie Knows what a fatty is. Join Date: 06-10-09 Location: Mt. Prospect, IL	What?! Admins get a pass on the -no-pics-didn't-happen rule?? ...Batteries dead... Although, I'd get an earful from the old lady if I was lookin' for a camera instead of the shop vac... Nice to resurrect these oldies for us newbies to read for the 1st time.

09-17-2009, 02:38 AM	#90
Phubar somebody shut me the fark up. Join Date: 04-24-09 Location: Utrecht,TheNetherPharkinglands	"FARKING FWOOOOSSSHHHHHHHHH!!!" I read that first and figured out where this was going! Sorry man but it was farking funny! __________________ -TG -WGA (3) -UDS (S,M,L) All fueled by [COLOR=lime]Ecobrasa[/COLOR] Coco Briquettes [URL="http://lowlandsmokers.blogspot.com/2011/06/lowland-smokers-workshop-hei-en-boeicop.html"]Lowland Smokers[/URL] Dutch BBQ Champion 2011 - 2012 [URL="http://lowlandsmokers.blogspot.com/2011/06/lowland-smokers-workshop-hei-en-boeicop.html"]Lowland Smokers[/URL] Dutch BBQ Champion 2013 Low 'n Slow WGA Ambassador