MURDERED the turkey......

MisterChrister · 01-05-2013, 10:48 PM

We had a 15# bird to cook today. I wanted to brine it and smoke it on the kettle rotisserie. My wife said she wanted me to keep it simple and just do it inside, "no time for BBQ today". Okay......so I throw it in the oven uncovered at just a little too much heat and a little too long. Just enough for it to look like I tried but still taste like something grandma would make. I guarantee she won't ask me to do it this way again. The stellar gravy made it barely edible! Mission accomplished!

caliking · 01-05-2013, 10:55 PM

You, sir, are a devil.

landarc · 01-05-2013, 10:57 PM

So, you purposefully ruined food to make a point?

chriscw81 · 01-05-2013, 11:08 PM

Well played, sir. I commend you. A loss battle in looooong war. ;-)

Sent from my Nexus using Tapatalk 2

MisterChrister · 01-05-2013, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by landarc

So, you purposefully ruined food to make a point?

Never said it was ruined, just not a cook that will be asked for again! It will all be eaten, and next time it will be enjoyed; smoked and spun!

campdude · 01-05-2013, 11:24 PM

Gotta know how to play the game! Bravo

Teamfour · 01-06-2013, 08:39 AM

Well played sir.

fantomlord · 01-06-2013, 08:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterChrister

We had a 15# bird to cook today. I wanted to brine it and smoke it on the kettle rotisserie. My wife said she wanted me to keep it simple and just do it inside, "no time for BBQ today". Okay......so I throw it in the oven uncovered at just a little too much heat and a little too long. Just enough for it to look like I tried but still taste like something grandma would make. I guarantee she won't ask me to do it this way again. The stellar gravy made it barely edible! Mission accomplished!

tell your wife there's always time for BBQ

I did a 14# turkey for my crew at work the other night in a kettle, and it was moist and deicious...lots of good comments (was told after the fact by one guy he thought there was no way I could get that bird done on the kettle without drying it out completely)
I did a "dry brine" on it for 24 hours, then rested in fridge uncovered for ~16 hours, spatched it, butter/rub under the skin, rub on the underside
2 full chimneys of RO lump with a little bit of hickory, indirect, it was done in 1:45

I did have to turn it ~halfway through bcz the skin closes the heat was getting close to burning
155° in the breasts, 175° in the thighs
made good practice for the 24# beast I've got in my freezer

turkey.jpg
(sorry for the blurry pic...that's why I didn't post this the other day)

HankB · 01-06-2013, 08:47 AM

I'm thinking that you've already lost the battle if your wife doesn't think it's worth the time to BBQ (and you have to purposely sabotage the cook to demonstrate the difference.)

fantomlord · 01-06-2013, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HankB

I'm thinking that you've already lost the battle if your wife doesn't think it's worth the time to BBQ (and you have to purposely sabotage the cook to demonstrate the difference.)

didn't he already lose most battles when he put the wedding ring on?
that's how it usually works, right?

Grabnabber · 01-06-2013, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterChrister

"no time for BBQ today".

+

=

Wampus · 01-06-2013, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterChrister

"no time for BBQ today

I don't get that. A 15# turkey will take the same amount of time at a given temp no matter whether it's in the oven or the smoker. Brining and other prep time also isn't dependent on how it's cooked.

Ah well. I've been married long enough to know that the wife's logic and the husband's logic sometimes don't jive.

fantomlord · 01-06-2013, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wampus

I don't get that. A 15# turkey will take the same amount of time at a given temp no matter whether it's in the oven or the smoker. Brining and other prep time also isn't dependent on how it's cooked.

Ah well. I've been married long enough to know that the wife's logic and the husband's logic sometimes don't jive.

I've been married long enough to know you missed a set of quotes around the words "wife's logic"

Freddy j · 01-06-2013, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterChrister

We had a 15# bird to cook today. I wanted to brine it and smoke it on the kettle rotisserie. My wife said she wanted me to keep it simple and just do it inside, "no time for BBQ today".

I feel sorry that you had to take this approach and waste a day of your life doing something that you didn't want to do (in the grand scheme of things, were not on this planet for all that long).

I am sooooooooooooo glad my wife and I don't have ths kind of relationship.

MisterChrister · 01-06-2013, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freddy j

I feel sorry that you had to take this approach and waste a day of your life doing something that you didn't want to do (in the grand scheme of things, were not on this planet for all that long).

I am sooooooooooooo glad my wife and I don't have ths kind of relationship.

Jeesh, I appreciate the condolences but it's a stretch to characterize our marriage by a tussle over turkey time. We have a marriage where sometimes we sacrifice for each other (and our 7 kids). She just didn't want me to take the time to brine, build a fire and tend to the bird on the rotisserie etc. I just wanted to let her taste (an exaggeration of) the difference in what she was missing by "keeping things simple". We still love each other very much and life will go on, even if I would have boiled the bird....

01-05-2013, 10:48 PM	#1
MisterChrister Quintessential Chatty Farker Join Date: 04-28-12 Location: Wis-con-sin	MURDERED the turkey...... We had a 15# bird to cook today. I wanted to brine it and smoke it on the kettle rotisserie. My wife said she wanted me to keep it simple and just do it inside, "no time for BBQ today". Okay......so I throw it in the oven uncovered at just a little too much heat and a little too long. Just enough for it to look like I tried but still taste like something grandma would make. I guarantee she won't ask me to do it this way again. The stellar gravy made it barely edible! Mission accomplished! __________________ Kettleheads Anonymous Charter Member

01-05-2013, 10:55 PM	#2
caliking is One Chatty Farker Join Date: 01-13-10 Location: Houston, TX	You, sir, are a devil. __________________ [FONT=Arial Narrow][B]EZ wood handled 3 wheeler \| OTS \| OTS mod to OTG \| [COLOR=red]Ladybug[/COLOR] SS Performer \| UglyDrumTandoor \| UDS v1 \| midi UDS with [COLOR=red]red[/COLOR] [COLOR=black]nipples[/COLOR] \| SJG smoker mod \| Simpsons SJS \| [COLOR=black]Simpsons[/COLOR] OTG \| WGA charcoal \| SJP \| Stacked brick WFO \| Lodge Logic Sportsman's Grill cast iron hibachi/sigri \| [COLOR=green]LBGE \| sbge \| [SIZE="1"]mini bge[/SIZE] [/COLOR] [/B][/FONT]

01-05-2013, 10:57 PM	#3
landarc somebody shut me the fark up. Join Date: 06-26-09 Location: sAn leAnDRo, CA	So, you purposefully ruined food to make a point? __________________ [COLOR=DarkGreen][COLOR=DarkRed][SIZE=1]me: I don't drink anymore Yelonutz: me either, but, then again, I don't drink any less [/SIZE][/COLOR][/COLOR][SIZE=1][COLOR=DarkRed] [COLOR=Pink]SSS[/COLOR] [/COLOR][/SIZE]

01-05-2013, 11:08 PM	#4
chriscw81 is One Chatty Farker Join Date: 07-01-12 Location: Fredericksburg, VA	Well played, sir. I commend you. A loss battle in looooong war. ;-) Sent from my Nexus using Tapatalk 2 __________________ [B][I][COLOR=black]A Texan transplant[/COLOR][/I][/B] [B][SIZE=1][COLOR=black]UDS \| [COLOR=blue]Blue[/COLOR] Weber Performer Platinum \| Chargriller Akorn \| 22.5 Weber OTG \| WSJ Gold \| Mini WSM \| Maverick ET-73 \| [COLOR=blue]Blue [/COLOR][COLOR=black]Thermapen \| Maverick PT-100 \|[/COLOR] Gasser(charcoal chimney starter)[/COLOR][/SIZE][/B]

01-05-2013, 11:24 PM	#6
campdude Babbling Farker Join Date: 07-04-10 Location: Rancho Cucamonga, CA	Gotta know how to play the game! Bravo __________________ Used to have more stuff... thinned the herd Happy with what I have Life is good

01-06-2013, 08:39 AM	#7
Teamfour is Blowin Smoke! Join Date: 07-13-12 Location: Sterling, VA	Well played sir. __________________ BWS Party \|UDS\|Maverick ET-73 \|Maverick ET-732 \|Super Fast [COLOR=DarkOrange]Orange[/COLOR] Thermapen \| BBQ Guru DigiQ \|Two 100 QT crawfish boiling rigs \| LEM Meat Grinder \| Grizzly Sausage Stuffer Smokin-n-Style BBQ Team - Pitmaster Lagniappe Chili Team - Head Cook KCBS CBJ

01-06-2013, 08:47 AM	#9
HankB is One Chatty Farker Join Date: 01-16-12 Location: Winfield, IL	I'm thinking that you've already lost the battle if your wife doesn't think it's worth the time to BBQ (and you have to purposely sabotage the cook to demonstrate the difference.)