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Q-talk *ON TOPIC ONLY* QUALITY ON TOPIC discussion of Backyard BBQ, grilling, equipment and outdoor cookin' . ** Other cooking techniques are welcomed for when your cookin' in the kitchen. Post your hints, tips, tricks & techniques, success, failures, but stay on topic and watch for that hijacking.

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Old 12-19-2011, 01:25 PM   #1
is one Smokin' Farker
Join Date: 12-17-09
Location: Mesa, Wa
Default *WARNING* Not for the weak-stomached! *SATIRE* The 10-minute BabyBack Rib

Sorry folks, I just had to post this. Mainly because I am an incredibly sarcastic person. But also to help myself realize how far I've come in BBQ. I blame these ribs for the absolute lack of appreciation and appetite for REAL BBQ in my area, my home. We just don't have the influence of good smoke in this area, and it's a crying shame. But I believe it is my sole duty to educate and inspire as many people as possible. I digress.....

So I'm sitting in my office the other night, and my wife informs me that my mother has just arrived from the grocery store and bought me some ribs. Now my first reaction was, "YES, I've been craving some good ribs off my UDS for some time now...." And I was picturing a wonderful cryo-vac'd package with 3 untrimmed spare ribs in it..... Not so fast....

I received this....
Attachment 59575

Ok, now I'm not one to turn down free food, and I always want to be appreciative of any gift that comes my way, and it's the thought that counts. So I gave my best, "oh, thanks.... just want i wanted....."

I have become known for my great smoked ribs in my circles, (er, wait... maybe I let EVERYONE know how 'I think' my ribs are the best, I'm not sure) so I'm sure she thought I would be very interested in these BB's. *Sigh*

So in true Brethren fashion, I decided to document this process with some great pics ( not sure you can call it pr0n ), and let everyone here get a good chuckle.

Got the 'smoker' all fired up and 'up to temp'
Attachment 59576
Threw the 'already sauced' and 'already cooked' ribs on the 'smoker'
Attachment 59577
Got a nice temp going on here..... 500 degrees
Attachment 59578
After 10 minutes of HIGH HEAT, I tried to do a tender test and they subsequently fell apart
Attachment 59579
more pics of how 'tender' they are
Attachment 59580
before bite....
Attachment 59581
after bite....
Attachment 59582

In conclusion....

The ribs were basically mush, and one day when I lose all my teeth and have to gum everything - these will be just the ribs for me.
They tasted fine, heavily sauced, not my thing, but ok.

Again the moral of this sad tale is how far I've come in my understanding of BBQ. See these ribs were edible, but nothing exciting. But 3 years ago - this is exactly what I pictured when I thought of BBQ ribs. And that is very sad. Because now I have seen the light.....
Joe. UDS, Traeger COM190, Infrared Grill; Maverick ET-732, Red Super-fast Thermapen

Last edited by likeadeere; 12-26-2013 at 12:35 PM..
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:33 PM   #2

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Those are supposed to be done in the microwave. No wonder they were mush.
Better go get yourself another batch and do them up right for a proper review.
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:36 PM   #3
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funny story. i have always been curious what they were like.
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:40 PM   #4
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Loved the tender test!
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:45 PM   #5
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The bite through pic doesn't look bad at all...
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:46 PM   #6
somebody shut me the fark up.

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Dang, she didn't get you the second course?

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Old 12-19-2011, 01:48 PM   #7
somebody shut me the fark up.
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I'm pretty sure you're supposed to crock pot those for the best results.
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Old 12-19-2011, 01:49 PM   #8
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LOL. Well, I'm glad they were edible.

Frankly, they look a lot better'n ribs I grew up eating...
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Old 12-19-2011, 02:05 PM   #9
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I cooked, err, heated up my first batch of Lloyd's ribs this past summer at a family (dis)function... I'm pretty sure they were bought just to smite me since they knew I'd be running the grill... I can't believe people eat that carp!
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Old 12-19-2011, 02:07 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by deguerre View Post
Dang, she didn't get you the second course?

I know people who swear by this.

It would do in a pinch, like a zombie apocalypse and there was nothing left to eat but this , type of pinch.
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Old 12-19-2011, 02:17 PM   #11
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folks eat that boiled stuff and then when they bite into a good rib that requires a bit of biting they call it tough. thats why i only do ribs for myself.
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Old 12-19-2011, 03:02 PM   #12
is one Smokin' Farker
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Originally Posted by Gore View Post
Those are supposed to be done in the microwave. No wonder they were mush.
Better go get yourself another batch and do them up right for a proper review.
What the HELL was I thinking??? I'd better run to the store and pick some more up!
Joe. UDS, Traeger COM190, Infrared Grill; Maverick ET-732, Red Super-fast Thermapen
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Old 12-19-2011, 04:46 PM   #13
Is lookin for wood to cook with.
Join Date: 11-04-11
Location: Seattle, Wa

Lol, sucka!

You talk a big game for your ribs there brotha, but yet I haven't tried any yet. Next time we get together I will bring the 40's you bring the ribs!
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Old 12-19-2011, 10:01 PM   #14
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give them to uncle farker
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Old 12-19-2011, 10:28 PM   #15
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Believe it or not, we have a restaurant here in San Diego,CA that makes ribs like that and sells them for $20 a rack. People LINE UP at the door to get in...can't get enough!

Nasty...pure nasty
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