To get you in the mood, click here, turn up the volume, and come right back:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJSUT8Inl14
Well, this is a really strange throwdown. It is understandable that the Brethren would want savory treats, but Santa? Seriously, you guys are projecting! I know for a fact that a treat for Santa is sweet. If you guys watched the many Christmas documentaries with your children on TV this time of year like your wives asked, instead of watching some silly football games, you’d know this. In the documentary “Elf,” for instance, it is stressed that sugar is the food of choice for residents of the North Pole. In addition, for decades children leave a plate of cookies and milk out for Jolly Old St. Nick. Children know how to optimize the number of presents. If they thought they could get more presents by leaving smoked salmon or prime rib, believe me they would be leaving smoked salmon and prime rib out instead. What are you all thinking? That Santa likes cookies and milk is indisputable! So, this Christmas I made Santa a treat, oatmeal cookies. I began by mixing up the dough
I rolled it out:
And baked those cookies on my Oval:
To satisfy his sweet tooth, I added some caramel:
And then I dipped them in Belgian chocolate:
I use both a dark and milk Belgian chocolate as you never know what he’ll be in the mood for. I also roasted some pecans on my Oval.
There are all kinds of things I make with these pecans, but I think the all-time favorite is drumsticks. I’ve been making these for years. I start with pretzel sticks and coat them with caramel:
I then cover these with those roasted pecans:
And I coat them with Belgian chocolate:
Imagine something like a Twix bar and a Turtle, but made with really good caramel and Belgian chocolate and you get an idea what they’re like.
I also whipped up some toffee. Toffee is one of the most nutritious foods for elves as it is made with butter and sugar:
This is stirred constantly while the temperature increases to 300*.
I lay out those Oval-roasted pecans in a cookie-sheet
Pour the toffee over the top
And smooth it out
To add to the nutritional value I cover this with Belgian milk chocolate
And smooth it out when it is melted
Finally, when this hardens, I coat it with powdered sugar to keep Santa’s fingers from getting chocolaty. I set these out for Santa with a glass of milk and a shot of single malt (I don’t know how rough Santa’s night has been).
The nice thing about cookies, toffee and drumsticks is you can eat them with one hand, keeping the other hand free for the reins. I also made some Bundt cakes, but they’re not for Santa as he can’t really eat a cake any more than he can eat salmon while he’s driving that sleigh.
As further proof of the Jolly Man’s preference for sweets I laid out my plate of goodies with those of someone else in the household who had the idea that perhaps Santa might prefer something savory. :roll: Now I cannot claim that this was an unbiased experiment as there is still the Naughtiness-Niceness factor to consider, but the results were visible for all to see Christmas morning.
Savory Smoked Salmon:
Not a bad haul this year compared to most, I must admit. :roll:
Sweet Cookies and Milk:
As you can plainly see, hundreds of millions of children know what they are doing!
Oh, I thought it might be fun to hook the camera up to a motion sensor to see if I could get the Master Elf in action. This is what we got.
Thanks for looking!
