I don't have much experience in neighbor's, but I figured after 6 pages I'd have a go at it.
First off...It's yer fault. Apparently yer approachable and that's why yer in this mess. I don't wish ta give offense, but for some random ta approach ya about cooking with fire and smoke, it's quite obvious he took ya fer Mr. F'ing Congeniality. I of course understand and I'm sympathetic...Who fires up their cooker and expects ta hear criticism and complaint?? And better, who stays up all night thinking about giving it??....that bastard next door, that's who.
Yer in a sort of "battle" here. And yer already on the defensive...why? Ya moved yer cookers...yer being accommodating, gregarious, a fine man....that next door chit heel is having a time of it, I'd wager!!!
Now look, yer accommodations...though admirable...are affecting yer smoke and meat infused pleasantries, they're not without blemish...because that old git is running amok in it! Forever tainted...
Like most battles not military in nature...yer evenly matched, which is poor planning. It's best ta tip the scales now.
If I understand correctly and I'm continuing under the assumption I am....it's ya and yer wife vs he and his. And this is the only neighbor that's frantic on yer porch Everytime the smoke starts? No third party taking their part?
....Then its clear what yer options are fer a win.
You are a accommodating, friendly, all around "nice guy" judging by yer actions...attractive quality's, I'm sure.
Yer neighbor is a nosey, no account f'ing eejit...not so attractive...I'd wager it's not as harmonious as it looks in public.
Ya will have ta befriend the wife...Ya have by yer own actions, desirable characteristics. And by yer earlier comments, I believe fer a smashing win you and...er "big boiler" will have ta take a hit fer the team... possibly multiple hits.
-D