Our story begins in the quiet village of Hunger. A peaceful village which has provided abundant meals to its inhabitants for generations. Delicious meals of smoked meats, grilled vegetables, hearty soups and perhaps its most comforting elixir, gravy, kept the villagers strong, satisfied and free from want.
For more than 33 seasons the villagers of hunger lived tasty, satisfied lives. That was until the evil Lord Diet unleashed his forces upon the tiny village. For more than a fortnight the Lord Diet's minions, lead by Queen Wifey laid waste to the village, burning it's crops, setting free its livestock and extinguishing it's cooking fires. The poor Hungerians, weak and malnourished were on the brink of defeat but their spirit was still strong. They waited patiently for an opportunity to strike back against Lord Diet and banish him from the world. Last night that opportunity presented itself when the ever vigilant Queen Wifey left her post overlooking the village to celebrate her certain victory in the style to which she had become accustomed, cocktails with friends.
The poor starving Hungerians seized upon the opportunity and called forth four heroes from the furthest corners of the Earth to wage the ultimate battle against Lord Hunger and defeat his forces for good. From the South came Chicken Thigh,
From the East Round Steak,
From the West came Pork Chop
And from the North came the most famed warrior in all the land, Naked Fatty.
Our fearless warriors came together on the outskirts of the Village of Hunger and began their preparation for battle. Upon meeting the other Heroes, Naked Fatty left his party to scout the enemy forces amassed on Mt. Traeger.
Chicken Thigh, Pork Chop and Round Steak went through the needler and cast iron crusher to get themselves nice and tender.
When Naked Fatty returned from Mt. Traeger he had been transformed into a browned smokey super warrior. Their was party now complete our intrepid heroes began to assemble their battle armor.
First came
to enhance their flavor, seasoned flour to boost their adhesion, buttermilk for its viscosity and tangy properties and flour and fine cornmeal to help seal in their delicious juices.
Our brave contingent made their way through the Village Hunger and headed to Mt. Traeger where they threw themselves into the heat of battle.
Knowing that the battle would be hard (about 425*) and long (35 minutes) the Hungerians began to prepare their most healing and comforting of potions to welcome their victorious saviors home, fatty & buttermilk gravy.
They began with bacon drippings,
and then added flour to create a roux
When it reached a golden color, buttermilk and chicken base were added along with copious amounts of black pepper.
This was simmered until thick at which point some naked fatty was added for good measure.
The villagers also prepared a victory bed for their embattled heroes, a CWB brushed with bacon drippings and toasted to a golden brown.
As the battle raged on, the worst possible scenario unfolded. Queen wifey returned from her victory party to see her forces under attack. She unleashed her most dastardly weapons to try and keep Lord Diet's forces from being defeated!
Thankfully for the Village Hunger, our courageous heroes had the battle well in hand and were able to fight off this dastardly counter attack. Victory had been secured! Our heroes returned to Village Hunger, browned and hardened from battle, but fully intact.
They mounted their victory bed one at a time, each receiving a shot of rejuvenating Franks Red Hot to aid in their healing.
First came Pork Chop
Followed by Round Steak
Chicken Thigh
And finally our bravest warrior, Naked Fatty
As our heroes settled in to their victory bed the Hungerians smothered them with their most famous concoction, buttermilk fatty gravy,
And tucked them gently under the covers
(Entry Photo)
Victory has never tasted so good.
