Pitmaster T - I think PBC owners are whack jobs quite frankly

QUOTE ONE - I completely disagree..it's NOT a 30 gallon UDS because a UDS can control temp and is designed to shut down to preserve charcoal as well as perform long slow cooks and smoke.

QUOTE 2 - I think everyone agrees that it is a meat cooking vessel, I think the only disagreement is between people who understand that it is simply a 30 gallon drum UDS with a couple pieces of rebar to hang meat and some horse shoe decorations, and people who think it is a revolutionary new cooking device that churns out amazing food almost by itself.

Anything you can do on the "PBC" branded drum smoker you can also do on any non-branded UDS if you just buy some hooks, I have 4 of these and I hung stuff under the rack with them a few times, I generally have enough rack space for what I am cooking so I don't use them often but it is nice to have the option.

I completely disagree with these quote because I agree wholeheartedly.

BUT JERKEYS I AM ON MY COMPUTER SO NOW I CAN WRITE!!!!!

So let me straighten this out for good. At least until the next time I say it.

What this guy says above (about PEOPLE saying it being revolutionary new cooking device ) is EXACTLY what pissed me off about the PBC in the first place. And it was not the OWNER that was making these claims but some of the of the whack a doodles that got their panties in a wad because, and I WILL UPDATE YOU, they felt that anybody who was trying to adapt their UDSs to hang meat or be like the PBC was committing a heinous act of copyright and patent infringement.

One person simply wanted to know how big the "magic hole" was and it was crazy the amount of crap was going on about it. Some members were acting as if copying the PBC rack hanging was going to RUIN Noah and put his wife and child on the street.

The other half, myself included, was just jealous cuz we had the knowledge of this and never patented it ourselves.

I originally took a hard stance against the PBC and its whacked out owners because yes, they were militant about their smokers. Nothing is more fun on here that picking on the militant ones whose opinions are inflexible and that is why I essentially play the part on the forum. Another contradiction. And let me get something out of the way for you "is it a cooker/smoker/pit/dildo molder" asshats.

YOU ALL COOK ON FARKING OVENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aint but a handful of you farkers on this site even cook on a Pit. Unless you have an Oyler Woodshow, you can't move a pit. And more and more of you are abandoning the stick burner for these vault like things that even I am drooling over (but I won't go in to the evils of this which I would love to have a hand in promoting GEORGE SHORE!!!!!!)

So let say it clear. If the MEAT LOOKS AND TASTES RIGHT it don't matter what you are cooking on. For some of you, you won;t get that till u arrive in a sanctioned event and some asshat beats your big assed expensive smoker with a webber kettle, UDS, PBC, pellet burner, treager, trashcan, whatever.

So lastly let me address this "UDS can be modified and designed to be adjustable so therefore the PBC sucks by comparison" comment. This is bullchit. Here is why.

How would you like me to spend the next 50 posts linking you asshats to the many "please help me, my wussy hurts and I started my period and I can't make my UDS burn right - I did everything the thread said and it won't work.... sniff, sniff" posts?

Look, the simplest design I have seen of the UDS design is two holes drilled, two refrigerator magnets for dampers, a rack, three bolts and nuts and washers and a lid with holes cut in it. Now essentially the farking vents are SET until you move them. On the PBC you have one hole, a screw and a metal flap that ALSO is adjustable.

For both, should you want to make an adjustment or GET MORE COMPLEX you can if you want. I have. Heck I wan't to make a rod and lever to adjust the vent on my PBC from the top. Worried about wasting charcoal on the PBC, throw a freaking welding blanket over it -- that will choke it out.

Go look at the UDS thread. It is ONE smoker? Or 3500 adaptations of the same thing? It is the latter. And like a recipe you are trying to adapt to do or taste like you wanted it to, its essential to start with a baseline that works. THEN YOU FARK WITH IT!!! Or would you like me too link you to the million "I smoked my brisket using a combined cook of every suggestion I ever read on here and now I have a mess and don't know what when wrong help me my wussy hurts and my period has me cramping real bad?" A good start would be my brisket failure thread.

This is the reason for the suggestion of salt and pepper only rub for your first brisket, for my NIGHTTRAIN EXPERIMENT, or for Noah to set out the PBCs adjustable flap preset or with THREE basic settings for altitude.

How many UDS builders would like the time back now for all the adjusting they did settling their UDS in when they first tried to cook on it? Remember, each pit breathes differently when you adjust it.. how much do you adjust, how long do you wait to see the temp change, how long before you adjust it again?

I still love my Screwdriver UDS. I am a tinkerer. But I also think those that do not have the time, money, facilities, room, or skills or enough maxi pads to tinker need a great starting point.

My wife is like many wives, except she is probably hotter than most of yours. And pregnant. Please post pictures of your wives so I can see. She would not even know where to start on the UDS should I have a stroke and she wanted to feed me a nice smoked chicken for me to choke on. But I know for a fact she can start the PBC, hang the birds, and pull them at the right time EVERY TIME and that is saying a lot. Now two things make me superflous in the house, the PBC and a pack of rechargeable double-a batteries and her egg. Which is nothing like the green egg.

Heck some people can even **** up a weber kettle smoke because its got two adjustments.

So let me close this out. Why am I such a PBC preacher?

Mostly because I talked to its owner. He never defended the PBC as hard as some of its proponents. It was what it was. He never disagreed with me that in my area, Gulf coast Italians took oil drums, meat and pried holes in the bottoms, threw charcoal or coals in and used wood slats and wire to smoke meats since the 1920s. But he did put his three balls on the line and patent his version of a small UDS tweaked perfectly for most applications and spent the money to market it. HE ALSO WILL ANSWER THE PHONE ON THANKGIVING DAY PERSONALLY AND HELP YOU OUT I AM TOLD.

I got a PBC tried it and I am pretty sure NO ONE has made as much ballyhoo and I have about EATING MY OWN WORDS. So there is the contradiction you see. I was wrong and displayed in video format how wrong I was.

The sad videos I have been making recently, the "Season for all Brethren" one and the "Undertaker" both feature the PBC being flooded with 3000 gallons of water and carried off by a depressed pitmaster with more than 9800lbs of other rusting stick burning gear is a message. It is a double edged sword this PBC I think. Like I said... the PBC is a curse and a blessing. I can't put my finger on why. I don't know. Using the PBC then walking by your 6900 lbs stick burner sitting cold and idle is like... well... you wife coming home and wanting to make a baby minutes after you choked the chicken. You go through the motions, you have longer staying power, but you are shooting blanks and you don't want her to find out why she a'int gettin knocked up today. Sorry mods.

A restaurant wanted to do a smoked tenderloin special and wanted to buy a smoker but was not sure weather they wanted to buy a big smoker. They called me because I am known in these parts for having two big pits. I arrived with a modded PBC (placed in my ford Escape) and they nearly **** because they had promoted the event and I seemed unprepared.

A load of coal to burn 7 hours, two extra short cut rebars laying on top, too many hooks to count and we were cooking more than enough to keep up (I think about 20 or so per smoke. They served 150 plates that evening. No surprises, the cooks were left with the smoke once the first batch was done.

Can people do this with other pits? Sure. So what? I made a smoker out of a damn jerrycan!

Is is worth 269? To some it is, to some not. Its like the difference between what you need from a Guru or Stoker or if you even need on at all.

16Adams said:

I would encourage everyone to listen to the first sentence, second verse of Mona Lisa and Mad Hatters (or search the lyrics) written my Bernie Taupin and sung by Elton John.

This cordial debate is even sung about.

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"Until you've seen this trash can dream come true,
You stand at the edge, while people run you through."
LOL

I thank the world for people like you.

jazzybadger said:

Sometimes I wonder if there's ever a good time to mention you have an Akorn. You're just yet another man too lazy to fire up the kiln, and make a REAL cooker.

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LOL - I love this.

Not a real "smoker" - These are the types of things people say when they are at a pageant and some obscure team name gets a walk over you and you recognize them as the "losers" that "never had a chance to win with their UDS or BPS or PBC" a few hours before that were right next to you. The ones that you secretly wish you had been studying. These are the things you tell yourself as people come by to pat you on your pat and console you as the winners are gone, merely packing their "BBQ Can" into the Lebaron while you are still trying to douse the fire, pack up your camper, link up the $10,00 trailer and safety chains and drive home with your tail between your legs.