Jethro608
Full Fledged Farker
Anyway, So this is how the story went for me.
I roll over and think to myself man I need a smoke.... so I jump up and get dressed and head out the door to light up. I think fark its cold look at the thermometer its 18 deg. Fark it is cold
I know what your thinking. Farker you forgot the good part!!! No I didn't . I thought I would just set the mood. So go light a candle & get the EVOO!! Cause here it comes......
Ok so like all good stories start. I was standing there minding my own bussiness when all of a sudden, along comes this young seducing little bird, all dressed up & showing off her suggestive packaging!!!
When she went by swear I heard her say gobble gobble:what: Now I know what your thinking, and I was to. But ole lady was with me..... so to make along story short my lady said "Go for it stud" so I did. I walked up struck a pose and said check out these sweet guns!!!
Well needless to say we brought her home. She said she was from the coast,& missed the smell of salt water the most. So me I come up with a great idea, (salt bath) I just couldn't wait to see her in her birthday suit anyway.then she said I'm only 20. I thought to myself " wow that's heavy":thumbup:
So we begin to run her bath and my girl being the lady she is eases her out of the form fitting layer and into the bath. She soaked for what seemed like 8hrs. So I thought fark she gotta be about brined by now.:banghead::banghead:
(Still got your interest?) Well now she had mine to. I'm thinking about now that its time for the gun show again,& so was she. So my girl got out oil and the party flavors. Wow what a party we rubbed her down and all the ole lady kept saying was don't forget the breast.:screwy:
Man ohh man what a night, needles to say I kinda nervous since it was " My First Time"!!! So you probably can guess I didn't get a lot of sleep. I kept going over and over all my moves. (Not to many) wanted to k.I.s.s. but did I k.I.s.s. right?
So here it is. Smoke time. I get outside everything is frozen. My thoughts drift back to the young thing waiting inside so I grab my heat gun and warm things up enough to get the locks undone (nother story) had to get to my lighter. I hide it the wife don't like it when I go out to smoke. Says I'm gone to long .
Ok back to it.. so things are really heating up now. On a scale of 1-10 its 286 and things are looking good . So its time to add heat to the meat. You might say. So I'm not gonna let the cold get me down. And performane was better than what the wife expected.
Should be pic of uds here. (Fark)
I was also proud that's why I'm telling you this little diddy.
Our new little friend was all hot and ready to go. So I grab a bag of ice said Hold that on her breast for an hr that will cool her where she needs to be till I'm ready for her.
Insert pic here to..
So now its time for the guns to shine & shine they did. (For about 5 1/2 hrs ) that little bird said my breast temp is at 170& I can't take no more of those sweet hot guns!!! So I let rest about for about 30 mins:banghead:
Another here...
Then I tore into her again. Ill tell you that ice trick sure does work.Now that she gone all I can say is that I'll never forget those juicy breast ...or. "My First Time"....
So me and the wife want to thank all the brethern& brethernets.because this never would have happened without all of your help.:thumbup::thumbup:: and a round for the house!!!:beer::beer:
Did 2 butts also forgot to use those in story. But we all had little butt........... pron.
Farken farkity fark fark pron won't load and it took for ever to type this out fark fark fark. Well I'll see what happened try to fix it.
Fark it did happen golden brown and I would say it was one of the best turkeys I've had in years every body loved it.
Fark sorry bout pron but I
I roll over and think to myself man I need a smoke.... so I jump up and get dressed and head out the door to light up. I think fark its cold look at the thermometer its 18 deg. Fark it is cold
I know what your thinking. Farker you forgot the good part!!! No I didn't . I thought I would just set the mood. So go light a candle & get the EVOO!! Cause here it comes......
Ok so like all good stories start. I was standing there minding my own bussiness when all of a sudden, along comes this young seducing little bird, all dressed up & showing off her suggestive packaging!!!
When she went by swear I heard her say gobble gobble:what: Now I know what your thinking, and I was to. But ole lady was with me..... so to make along story short my lady said "Go for it stud" so I did. I walked up struck a pose and said check out these sweet guns!!!
Well needless to say we brought her home. She said she was from the coast,& missed the smell of salt water the most. So me I come up with a great idea, (salt bath) I just couldn't wait to see her in her birthday suit anyway.then she said I'm only 20. I thought to myself " wow that's heavy":thumbup:
So we begin to run her bath and my girl being the lady she is eases her out of the form fitting layer and into the bath. She soaked for what seemed like 8hrs. So I thought fark she gotta be about brined by now.:banghead::banghead:
(Still got your interest?) Well now she had mine to. I'm thinking about now that its time for the gun show again,& so was she. So my girl got out oil and the party flavors. Wow what a party we rubbed her down and all the ole lady kept saying was don't forget the breast.:screwy:
Man ohh man what a night, needles to say I kinda nervous since it was " My First Time"!!! So you probably can guess I didn't get a lot of sleep. I kept going over and over all my moves. (Not to many) wanted to k.I.s.s. but did I k.I.s.s. right?
So here it is. Smoke time. I get outside everything is frozen. My thoughts drift back to the young thing waiting inside so I grab my heat gun and warm things up enough to get the locks undone (nother story) had to get to my lighter. I hide it the wife don't like it when I go out to smoke. Says I'm gone to long .
Ok back to it.. so things are really heating up now. On a scale of 1-10 its 286 and things are looking good . So its time to add heat to the meat. You might say. So I'm not gonna let the cold get me down. And performane was better than what the wife expected.
Should be pic of uds here. (Fark)
I was also proud that's why I'm telling you this little diddy.
Our new little friend was all hot and ready to go. So I grab a bag of ice said Hold that on her breast for an hr that will cool her where she needs to be till I'm ready for her.
Insert pic here to..
So now its time for the guns to shine & shine they did. (For about 5 1/2 hrs ) that little bird said my breast temp is at 170& I can't take no more of those sweet hot guns!!! So I let rest about for about 30 mins:banghead:
Another here...
Then I tore into her again. Ill tell you that ice trick sure does work.Now that she gone all I can say is that I'll never forget those juicy breast ...or. "My First Time"....
So me and the wife want to thank all the brethern& brethernets.because this never would have happened without all of your help.:thumbup::thumbup:: and a round for the house!!!:beer::beer:
Did 2 butts also forgot to use those in story. But we all had little butt........... pron.
Farken farkity fark fark pron won't load and it took for ever to type this out fark fark fark. Well I'll see what happened try to fix it.
Fark it did happen golden brown and I would say it was one of the best turkeys I've had in years every body loved it.
Fark sorry bout pron but I
