BBQ Brethren "Burger" Throwdown

Okay beyatchees.............I'm throwing this Pron Star of a Burger into the fight..............Let's git it ON!!!!!
Here it is with it's buns SPREAD WIDE OPEN................
Moderator Chris, use this Spread Eagle Pic for the TD!!! Gracias.

Here it is with it's buns clenched tight.......trying to hold all that hot meat in.........

Here I am tearing it a new arsehole........


Yeah, you know you want it. :twisted:

ONE POUND GREAT AUSSIE BURGER with the LOT

G'Day Bruces'

Yes that's right... It's always bigger and better in America... but were not far behind here in the great land of Oz. In the case of Burgers, a true Ozzie burger has got to have 3 additional things: Egg, Pineapple, and Beetroot. This is what we call a Hamburger "with the lot" You can get this from any fish and chip shop in Australia... er... another thing that you don't have over there. Anyways!.... Here we go, I just HAD to enter this throwdown, not to win it, but to show that we do burgers well!

Firstly, I made my own patties using beef mince, chopped onion, and a fairly large selection of spices.



Here's the patties..... MINE'S THE BIG ONE!



I cooked up a few of the little ones on the firebox of the COS to give them a bit of colour... I cooked mine later, because I was on a liquid diet at that stage...


Then I put them on the slow side to cook through...



The family ate theirs... and then I got serious...

Here's the POUNDER!


Some HOME SMOKED BACON and ONIONS, and I cooked the egg here too, but no pick of the egg...



And here's the money shot... please use this stack photo as the entry!



And here it is cut up... got it was BIG, I could barely eat it all!



Anyway, thanks for looking!

Cheers!

Bill

Nice entries! Those are some farking good looking burgers bob and aussie! I'd hit them both so hard! Bob your graphic description of that burger is great. You sound like a pron writer.

This Just In...Bill's burger has been sighted in Tokyo destroying several tall buildings and wreaking general havoc.

bigabyte said:

Bob, if your graphic close-up spread-eagle hot-meat pron shot makes it into the calendar, I think we will have to make that page a centerfold that folds out!:thumb:

Bill...DAYUM!!!:shock: Now there's a farking burger! I heard about all the poor farkers in Tokyo on FOXNews this morning.

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Man it was so big, I got to the last bite and I had to control not throwing up. It was a hell of a battle, but I was Victorious! After that.. BLACKOUT!!

SmokinAussie said:

Man it was so big, I got to the last bite and I had to control not throwing up. It was a hell of a battle, but I was Victorious! After that.. BLACKOUT!!

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I'm assuming Chivas helped.

Can a burger have wienies on it and still be a burger?

SmokinAussie said:

G'Day Bruces'

Yes that's right... It's always bigger and better in America... but were not far behind here in the great land of Oz. In the case of Burgers, a true Ozzie burger has got to have 3 additional things: Egg, Pineapple, and Beetroot. This is what we call a Hamburger "with the lot" You can get this from any fish and chip shop in Australia... er... another thing that you don't have over there. Anyways!.... Here we go, I just HAD to enter this throwdown, not to win it, but to show that we do burgers well!

Firstly, I made my own patties using beef mince, chopped onion, and a fairly large selection of spices.



Here's the patties..... MINE'S THE BIG ONE!



I cooked up a few of the little ones on the firebox of the COS to give them a bit of colour... I cooked mine later, because I was on a liquid diet at that stage...


Then I put them on the slow side to cook through...



The family ate theirs... and then I got serious...

Here's the POUNDER!


Some HOME SMOKED BACON and ONIONS, and I cooked the egg here too, but no pick of the egg...



And here's the money shot... please use this stack photo as the entry!



And here it is cut up... got it was BIG, I could barely eat it all!



Anyway, thanks for looking!

Cheers!

Bill

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Hi Bill, If you look at my jucy's you can see ours is 2 x 1 pound burgers, I couldn't even finished mine and my mom & nephew ate the rest of mine. LOL! Yeah ground up meat I normally don't like......

Fire-roasted rotisserie California burgers anyone?

As the current front runner in last/this week’s Beef Rib Throwdown, I figured I better flip a burger in the ring for this round, too. The Burger category has clearly prompted more pros to dust off their winterized grills and re-don their aprons to join in this battle. The quality of entries is intimidating!

I will say these throwdowns are fun. You guys crack me up. The earlier Godzillaburger references seem very apropos. I would not want to run into many of the competitors’ burgers in a dark alley. I am in California for the moment where the earthquake risk is too high, so you will see that rather than building upwards, I went outwards. My burger shape coincides with the peppers and flat breads I selected.




A pool backdrop seemed like a nice pairing for burgers. With the competition coming in so fast and furious this time, I figure the only way I could have a chance was by breaking out my secret burger weapon!



I tried to stay true to California cuisine, so there is plenty of cilantro and avocado. The burger meat is mixed with fresh cilantro, onions, garlic powder, Worcestershire, and a few other spices. The burger layers in order are: garlic herb flatbread, bed of arugula, burger, thick-sliced bacon, Monterrey Jack cheese, thick-sliced cheddar bars, pasilla pepper, mix of sweet and red onions, chipotle salsa, and flatbread. The avocado and tomatoes are to be added at your leisure. The corn, fresh green beans and mushrooms are just sides.


My one significant digression was that I just had to go with hickory wood for this one. I had some eucalyptus and avocado wood available which would have been more “Californian”, but my mouth watered too much every time I thought about hickory roasted rotisserie burgers.

OK, my beer pairing with this burger is actually not of California origin either, but this, too, was worth making an exception for. With its coffee and chocolaty flavors, the 1554 from New Belgium Brewing Company is an amazing beer with burgers (and anything else for that matter). Unfortunately I was too busy drinking mine to remember to include it in the entry photo! BTW, thanks guys for all the votes in the Beef Rib Throwdown...I already feel like my non-beer consumption that day was worth it!

Anyway, here’s my entry for this week:

Woah. Pretty. Me likey. Where's the drool smiley?

Woo Hoo... We have a burger genious on our hands! NICE stuff Jonny. I think you're going for 2 wins in a row!

Wow, that voting thread is gonna be two pages long and not a weak on in the bunch. There could be a calender here alone. 12 months of insanely great looking burgers.

landarc said:

Wow, that voting thread is gonna be two pages long and not a weak on in the bunch. There could be a calender here alone. 12 months of insanely great looking burgers.

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Where's your entry?

I like to see you enter LandArc!

Post number 42 Derek, sadly, even though I thought I had a winner, there are so many great entries, I can't even say I will vote for my own entry at this point. I will say, I am really enjoying this Throw Down, killer food.

landarc said:

Post number 42 Derek, sadly, even though I thought I had a winner, there are so many great entries, I can't even say I will vote for my own entry at this point. I will say, I am really enjoying this Throw Down, killer food.

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You know LandArc, Mine is certainly not a winner and I may never win, But I keep entering and winning.

This is going to my first throwdown and the pron comes later. Right now the wife and I are in burger comas. Not to mention the bayou tea. Pron to follow.

Alright Chris, I'd like to call your attention to this entry by SmokinAussie. It seems to me precisely what you are talking about, someone entering a contest just to get a zero! Note in the description, he claims to be using beetroot. This is like saying, "I add arsenic to my burgers." He knows full well that beetroot is not a food item!

SmokinAussie said:

G'Day Bruces'
Yes that's right... It's always bigger and better in America... but were not far behind here in the great land of Oz. In the case of Burgers, a true Ozzie burger has got to have 3 additional things: Egg, Pineapple, and Beetroot. This is what we call a Hamburger "with the lot" You can get this from any fish and chip shop in Australia... er... another thing that you don't have over there. Anyways!.... Here we go, I just HAD to enter this throwdown, not to win it, but to show that we do burgers well!

Click to expand...

Obviously, the beetroot did not have the desired effect. He apparently didn't take into account that people don't actually read the descriptions, so he followed it up with this to warn people off:

SmokinAussie said:

I got to the last bite and I had to control not throwing up.

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I can't imagine he is trying to appeal to the bulimics on this website. It really doesn't take a brain surgeon to realize he's going for a zero! So, are ya gonna DQ'm?

We have just finished filming the latest installment of "Cooking with the Master." Here is the transcript for those interested:

Master: Ladies, Gentlemen, Gooood Eeeeevening! And velcome to "Cooking with the Master," a show about cooking. I ... am the Master! Joined by sous chefs Gore and Ninja Squirrel I vill demonstrate revolutionary advances made in the burger industry….

I (Gore): Excuse me Master, but about our new sous chef? I really need some help with the pits and none of our other sous-chefs can lift a bag of charcoal!

Master: Yes…as Gore reminds me, ve received notice from one of our shorter Human Resource Managers that sous chef Theodore Puppy is too embarrassed to be seen by Brethren throughout the world, so ve have sought a replacement. During last veek’s competition, one of our very own BBQ-Brethren agreed to help us. He lives hundreds of miles away, but my latest invention, the Sous-Transmorgraphier, will hone in on the special tracking device he wears and transport his essence here to assist Gore in the pits. …Gore, flip the switch!

I (Gore): Done, Master!

[Flames and sparks]

Master: Eeeggsellent!... Audience, please velcome Smokey Al Gold!

[Cheers and wild applause from the audience]

Smokey Al Gold: Hi Master, Gore, thanks, it’s great to be here. Cool, I can levitate, but, uh, where’s my body?

Master: Yes, at present ve can only project your head into the studio. I hope you locked yourself securely in a room as instructed. Someone may get a bit of a fright if they find you before I return your head!

[Laughter from audience]

I (Gore): Thank you, Master, for providing … this assistance. Looks like I’ll be working the pits …alone…again.

Master:… I have invented a dish that not only vill revolutionize the burger industry, but also the pizza industry! Soon people everywhere vill be eating out of my hands! This Pizza-Burger vill…

I (Gore): Excuse me Master, but I’m not sure if a “Pizza-Burger” will meet with the approval of Mr. Big. He wears a huge foil hat and controls hundreds of black helicopters. He has already DQ’ed a chicken sandwich, and…

Smokey Al Gold: We’re cool! As long as we’re having fun, then virtually anything goes! So, let’s have some fun!

[Audience cheers]

Master: Precisely! Now as you can see, we roll out the burger and line the bottom of our deep dish pan. I even use special foil-hat seasoning for this one!




Master: We cover this with sauce, cheese and toppings…

I (Gore): sausage, … pepperoni, …

Smokey Al Gold: Chicken thighs?

Master: and of course, … the bacon! No valnuts on this one Ninja Squirrel! Gore, put the pizza in the Primo Oval and adjust the settings for “deep dish.”

I (Gore): Yes, Master!

Master: Now I unveil the product that I vill use to build my Empire and take over the fast-food industry!

Master: As my sous chefs demonstrated, this Pizza-Burger does not have the conventional pizza crust, but a burger crust, replacing the weakest link of the pizza with even more MEAT! Not only does this provide additional comfort and satisfaction for carnivores everywhere, but ve can claim this product to be “Atkins friendly!” Ve vill include this on our diet menu and people vill gorge on this guilt free!

I (Gore): Pure genius, Master!

Master: Soon… the world vill be MINE!

I (Gore): Master, I think I hear helicopters!

Master: Don’t worry, … ve are having fun! Even now, I am constructing my new fast-food Empire that vill….

I (Gore): Master, I think there’s someone at the door!

Suddenly, the door bursts open and men in black uniforms come rushing toward Master. On their uniforms is embroidered “Master’s Pizza-Burger” and “Free Delivery!”

Master: Just in time! Take this to Mr. Big, Overland Park. He said on the phone that he had a coupon, …but tell him this one is on me!

I (Gore): Extra eggplant, Master?

Master: That’s right, Gore.