Breaking news!!!
We now interrupt your regularly scheduled programming with this breaking news announcement from NPNN, the New Potato News Network, bringing you newer potato news than any other potato news network!
We have just received word that Red Potato and Russet Potato forces are engaged in a major battle somewhere in Overland Park, Kansas.
We have no details at this time about what triggered this clash, or how many potatoes are involved. In fact, since shortly after the potato units reported the engagement, there have been virtually no further communications at all!
Wait....I am being told that an elderly woman did recieve a letter from her grandspud who has been in this battle since the beginning. In fact, we have the text of this letter in our studio now. Can we get that up on the screen? Anyone? Can we get this on screen? ...and here we are!
This is a letter sent by a brave young potato to his grandma earlier today. I am told he is with the Red potato forces. Here is the text of the letter:
Dear Grandma,
I hope everything is the same at home in the potato fields as it has always been. I hope the squirrels aren't scratching around looking for nuts too much.
Nothing is the same here in this God-foresaken war zone, in this hell. Someone once said that the road to potato hell is loaded with cheese and bacon and stuff. That's what this place is allright. It is hell, and it is stuffed full of it!
Well, here I am, anonymous all right. With a bunch of tubers nobody really cares about. They come from the end of the potato row, most of 'em. Small fries with names you probably never even heard of: Burbank, Yukon, Rooster, Pink Eye, Fingerling (don't ask). They're all green, most of 'em. Two years' high school is about it, maybe if they're lucky a pretty little Julienne waiting for them back in a cool dark cellar, but most of 'em got nothing. They're cheap really, they're nourishing, yet they're fighting for our skins. It's weird, isn't it? They're the bottom of the plant and they know it. Maybe that's why they call themselves "spuds", cause a spud can take it, can take anything! They're the best I've ever seen, Grandma. The heart & soul.
Love always,
Red Norland
Wow! I'm flooded with emotion here...I just don't know what to say after such poignant words from such a brave spud! We thank all of...
...Wait a minute folks...I am being told that satellite photos of the area seem to indicate that the fighting has apparently ceased, but we are still not receiving any word from either the Red or the Russet forces.
...hold on...I am being told we are now receiving a communication from someone identifying himself only as Mr. Big Bite...no...Bigger Bite...no, well, it doesn't matter what his name is. At this time he is the only communication we are receiv...
OK, I'm told we are now going to feed you a detailed account of this battle, which is being told by this Mr. Bite fellow. Let's take a look.
Any minute now...
The feed should start shortly, our staff is working furiously to patch us in...
Just be patient...
OK, due to technical difficulties, we will just provide you this link detailing the account from Mr. Bite. We are also posting a photo from this account showing what appears to be both sides facing off at the start of the battle.
http://www.bbq-brethren.com/forum/showthread.php?p=1479952
