Great thread and advice.
My wife and I discussed last year about maybe cooking at some contests a little further away to reduce the number of people visiting and wanting to "help". I'm not good at telling people not to come out and visit but at times, I wish it was just me and my wife or me by myself or maybe one other person (either brother, friend or brother-in-law). It's good to have someone help set up, tear down and lend a hand when you need it. At last year's contest it was so crazy with visitors and friends and family it seemed like work and wasn't as fun as the previous couple of years. I know that it came down to too many people hanging around. At times, it was hard to focus on what I was doing. I should say that having help around was nice when we were trying to get things put away before the big storm hit.
I asked a friend to cook ribs a couple of years ago and now I consider him part of the team, but now I would prefer to do the cooking solo. I'm not going to kick him off the team because that isn't right to ask for his help when I need it and then kick him to the curb when I don't. If he opts out, then I'll let him out, but then it's my team completely.
I know what you are talking about when you say people are giving you advice about how to cook even though they don't cook, aren't KCBS judges and I've been cooking all summer practicing. It can make you very tense!