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Old 03-02-2014, 07:48 AM   #7
smoke ninja
somebody shut me the fark up.

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Join Date: 01-03-14
Location: Detroit michigan

From that site.

Left-handed briskets?
Tom Hoefer from Allen, Texas, posted this tall tale about a barbecue contest on the net in 2001. It is reprinted here, slightly edited, with his permission. Fact or fiction? Serious or joke? You decide...

A few year back at the Texas State Finals, several of us arrived on Thursday to get in line for the best sites. Thursday night was devoted to serious drinking.

One of the better cooks, Ole Connie Baker of the team "Li'l Pit Of Heaven", was throwing back quite a few of those Mexican beers with a chunk of lime stuck in the neck. Connie had so many of them limeade beers that he was starting to smile with a pucker.

One of us asked him how come his brisket was so tender and always placed in the top three. I thought to myself, boy oh boy, if loose lips sink ships then Ole Connie is going down tonight. All got quiet as he stuffed another lime in a longneck and he said that he "only cooks left-handed briskets".

He explained that most, but not all, steers rest on their left side, which means when they get up they have to push harder with their right legs. At this point about half the bunch mumbled something to the effect of "bull hockey" and went back to different conversations.

A few of us noticed that Ole Connie wasn't smirking. Two or three of us moved closer and I told him "You can't stop there. What does pushing up with their right legs have to do with the left brisket?"

Ole Connie stuffed another lime and told us that when they push up with the right legs it flexes the right brisket muscle more than the left. Therefore the right-handed brisket will be tougher and less marbled than the left. Not always but usually. I asked him "how the heck do you tell a left-handed brisket from the right?"

He stuffed another lime and told me that, with the fat side down, on a left-handed brisket, with the narrow part closest to you, the point will curve to the right.

Saturday awards time rolled around and Connie took First Brisket and Grand Champion over 180 of the best cooks in Texas. I think that I came in 19th with my right-handed brisket.

I just could not get this off my mind. I phoned the kin folk in LaGrange, Texas, and asked if they would check out their herd. Yep, you guessed it. Only three out of 37 consistently rested on their right side. Dangnation, Ole Connie has got it going big time!

I went to five different grocery stores and flexed briskets to see which sides were more limber and more marbled. There are some right-handed briskets that are more limber and marbled than the lefties, but for the most part, the majority of the best are left handed!

Welp, there it is folks. Take it or leave it. As Joe Friday on the 1950s TV show, Dragnet, used to say, "Only the facts ma'am."
Let's all just calm down and smoke a fatty

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