after 50 min with tech support verifying and doing all kinds of different things, right before throwing in the towel, we restarted my router and bam!
everything appeared to be working as normal, that was the kicker.
on the plus side, BBQGuru tech support set up port forwarding and reserved my ip addy for me. Big time kudos to tech support!
Kudos as well to Dan at Firecraft for contacting Guru and setting me up with their tech support.
one thing that I did pick up that may be useful to brethren is if Ad Hoc works, its on the same system as Infrastructure so there should be all or nothing if there is a problem with one or the other. If Ad Hoc works but your infrastructure is bad, its got to be the router