I think there are two things happening here. 1.) legitimate questioning and maybe inexperience 2.) poor planning. Regarding 1.)....I think it is ABSOLUTELY FINE for people to use this forum to talk about mistakes, ask questions, or wig out on things going wrong. No one should make people feel inferior for asking questions.
Regarding number 2.), haven't we all had that, "oh my gosh moment..." When we need to feed people and its not ready? It is the grace we should have to help that brother in the moment but to admonish them to reconsider how they planned. The VERY FACT they starting cooking in the middle of the night tells you they at least had a plan. Maybe not a good one.
Therefore, simply remember where you were at at one point and help people who have questions or are wiggling out.
Husband, Father & Pastor. UDS, offset stick burner. Cook KCBS, & Lonestar BBQ Society.