I apologize for pointing this out, but I have identified a fatal flaw in your equation.
It appears that you have omitted the Constant of Que
Obviously without "Q" your launch will fail, your trajectory will spiral out of control, and you'll end up in Vegas.
When you end up in Vegas you'll lose everything, when you lose everything you'll sell your hair to a wig shop...DON'T SELL YOUR HAIR TO A WIG SHOP!!!